Wascally Wabbit

My cousin called to tell me this morning.
I call the hosp to find out what's going on.
She was having some heart flutterings and called the EMT. She's 75

Remember, she came down here to look for a place to live, all the while complaining she needed to be close to me, fearful of living alone etc etc and etc. Then, after all the apartment hunting, she moved in to a place where she lives! This is 2.5 hours away.

I had to be careful what I said to her since she isn't feeling well.
I did say that it is a shame that she is so far away from me.

This was her decision, not mine.
I refuse to accept any guilt, shame or blame for her decision to live 2.5 hours away from me.

DesertEyes

Wow Wabbit, that is so hard when they are elderly and stubborn. You're recovery is shining in your not picking up any guilt. That's awesome.

Your Mom is in my prayers, and so are you.

Mike

GiveLove

Bravo, Wabbit. You can provide her love and support from afar, since that is the decision she made. Do your best, and let her HP do the rest. No need to put a guilt trip on her -- and certainly don't listen to any of hers. State the fact and let it go, as you have, and you will be able to keep your inner peace. Hugs to you and prayers for her.

Growing

Ditto what Mike and GiveLove said...supporting you and sending care and prayers your way. I am learning alot from you.

serenityqueen

I'm going through alot with my own Mom now. She has serious health issues, in and out of the hospital and nursing homes. Has had numerous bone breaks due to medical conditions. I know I bend over backwards, forwards and sideways and it seems never to be enough to please her.Instead of finding anything positive that I have done, she finds other things to complain about. She thrives on being unhappy. I know she has alot of problems, but she seems to want to stay in the pity pot," poor me, feel sorry for me" state of mind. I have two choices, I can either take on her stuff so to speak and feed into her misery or realized that I have no more control over her situation than she did mine when I was using. I can only pray for her and do what I am capable of doing and give the rest to God. Ultimately, He is in control of everything after all. Not us

Wascally Wabbit

How TRUE. Mine is always complaining. Always afraid, alone, sick, not feeling well, and trying to make me feel like somehow, I could remedy all that. When I offer what I can, it's not good enough. Then, the I am so alone and so afraid continue again. It's a never ending cycle.

serenityqueen

Oh my Gosh, there's two of them out there! Are you my long lost brother?

Sorry, I use humor alot when things really hit close to home. What really hit home is when you said she's afraid. I hear so many people say that they are now parenting their parent. I can so identifiy with that. I may have missed something, now, does your Mom use? Currently? My Mom never has but my disease has naturally caused alot of problems in her life that she has refused to address. I used to really take alot of that on. Guilt. but then I have to tell myself that there is a ton of help available that she refused.