LiveLife

Does anyone have any experience with prison residential drug treatment? I haven't had contact with my ABF since December (by my choice...I couldn't take the hell anymore and kicked him out.) In January he was arrested and charged with 2 counts of burglary (20 years in my state.)

I noticed on the internet today that he was sentenced to residential drug treatment. The burglary was to support his heroin/crack addiction.

I'm working on my own recovery, but I still find myself obsessed by thoughts of the sober man I once loved (still in love with the good memories) ..... the one who ultimately lied to my face, cheated on me, stole from me, etc., etc. ..... yeah .. the actions of true love. Ugh.

I'm wondering if the program could truly help him develop the tools to hold on to sobriety and ultimately get his life back .... or maybe is it just time for him to put in to try to get a reduced sentence? Maybe it's up to him?

dogged

my exbf is in rehab while in prison and the program where he is at is pretty good, here they do alot of cognitive development. change thier way of thinking,and he has alot of homework ,that is thier job while they are in prison and if he doesnt do the required work they kick you out of it. his doc is crack, and he still thinks he can drink when he gets out, and his councelor has been trying to get him to see that its not a wise alternative..once again it all depends on if they want it bad enough. not to say they still cant be suing while they are in there, he tells me if he wants to get hogh its easy to get while he is in there..i think dont hink they test them enough while thier in there.

sleepygoat

Many times, compassionate judges sentence addicts to drug treatment, inpatient, instead of prison. They are mandated by the court, and if they leave the treatment facility against court orders or get kicked out, then usually they are then sent to jail. There is going to be follow up with aftercare and meetings, mandatory, as part of his probation, most likely. It sounds like the judge cut him a major break and is willing to give him a chance to get clean instead of rot in jail.

Hangin' In

Livelife,

I have no experience with residential drug treatment, so I can't speak to that.

But your post reminded me of what I do sometimes and I know I'm doing it. I get my focus in the wrong place. I starting thinking about what AD should be doing or should not be doing. I even start thinking about what sober daughter should be doing or not be doing, thinking, I guess, that I can figure it out and then somehow that will make me feel better.

Then my recovery kicks in and reminds me that when my focus is on someone else, well, there goes my serenity right out the window...........swish.....................GONE!

I hope you can continue to work your recovery and focus on you and doing what brings peace to your life. Thanks for reminding me of what I need to do.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

LiveLife

Hangin' In -

Thanks for the reminder .... I haven't had contact with XABF since I told him to leave in December .... however, I have kept track of his incarceration on the internet. My excuse is that I want to know when to start looking over my shoulder for his shadow again. It has been a relief to know that he's locked up compared to the crazy life I used to live.

That part of me that held on through 18 months of hell living with an active addict, is the same part of me that is hopeful that XABF will pull his life together and decide to own his sobriety. Then I think about how great it would be if he could stay sober and we could be together. Then I think about how horrible he was to me and I should never consider any relationship with him.

I have to be really careful to focus on making my decisions for me and my life .... not based on XABF, his decisions or his life .... not based on memories of the past or dreams XABF and I had for our future. Somehow it seemed easier to me when I thought he would be locked up for a long time .... now the waters get muddy for me because he may be back sooner ... now I have to be more focused on making decisions that are right for me and gaining the strength I will need to stay on track for the next time I see him.

Hangin' In

Yep, all the more reason to really be working on your recovery now. I was given great advice when my AD went to rehab. Was told I really needed to be working on me while AD was in rehab working on herself. That way I would be better prepared when she got out. I did that and I continue to work on my recovery everyday. I have to or else I'll be right back where I was and that ain't good!

Hang in there. Just keep the focus on you and pack that life full of recovery, however you can get it....here at SR, meetings, recovery friends, etc.

Hugs,
Hangin' In