hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 14
hello
i am wondering if i have the right place?
i am not an addict,i am the parent of an on going 23 yr old in recovery herion addict..so if i am in the wrong place please advise, we all have been struggling with this from when my son was 17, looking for support , how to understand, i know i cant help, i am learning, that i need to recovery from being a enabler , i am the worlds best. i should say i was the worlds best..
my son lives with us again , since jujne 22 when he died of an overdose , luckly the user he was with called 911, they had a hard time but brought him back, after calling posion control they had never gave some one so much narcon.it put him into severe sesuires, well here we are 8 months later to date he is on suboxone , from 2 days after od, he is working , clean and seems to be on the right track as of today. he has taken back up with his old addict girl friend she got out of prison in aug, she has written my name on stolen checks, stole all my jewlry , i told him he is not my son if he chooises her again, he didnt take this lightly, i flet mean, she is not welcome at my home.. she is supposed to be clean? she wrote me aletter , saying she was sorry for the things she did , she was a differnt person back then, could i please forgive heras we hboth love my son and it tares him up to be inbtween
i cant not , i belive she is still trying to minipulate me , i dont and wont trust her,am i wrong? sorry for the long intro
as before if i am in the place please let me know
i am not an addict,i am the parent of an on going 23 yr old in recovery herion addict..so if i am in the wrong place please advise, we all have been struggling with this from when my son was 17, looking for support , how to understand, i know i cant help, i am learning, that i need to recovery from being a enabler , i am the worlds best. i should say i was the worlds best..
my son lives with us again , since jujne 22 when he died of an overdose , luckly the user he was with called 911, they had a hard time but brought him back, after calling posion control they had never gave some one so much narcon.it put him into severe sesuires, well here we are 8 months later to date he is on suboxone , from 2 days after od, he is working , clean and seems to be on the right track as of today. he has taken back up with his old addict girl friend she got out of prison in aug, she has written my name on stolen checks, stole all my jewlry , i told him he is not my son if he chooises her again, he didnt take this lightly, i flet mean, she is not welcome at my home.. she is supposed to be clean? she wrote me aletter , saying she was sorry for the things she did , she was a differnt person back then, could i please forgive heras we hboth love my son and it tares him up to be inbtween
i cant not , i belive she is still trying to minipulate me , i dont and wont trust her,am i wrong? sorry for the long intro
as before if i am in the place please let me know
'Round and 'Round I Go....
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 478
You are in the right place. I want to welcome you. I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here. There will be more people coming along shortly.
I understand how you feel and the distrust you have for his agf.
It was probably hard enough to regain trust in your son. But to be asked to trust his agf who has given you reasons not to trust her is asking alot. It is good to set boundaries that keep you safe physically and emotionally. Boundaries are a good way to let them know what you are willing to accept and not accept.
Please keep coming back to read and post.
I understand how you feel and the distrust you have for his agf.
It was probably hard enough to regain trust in your son. But to be asked to trust his agf who has given you reasons not to trust her is asking alot. It is good to set boundaries that keep you safe physically and emotionally. Boundaries are a good way to let them know what you are willing to accept and not accept.
Please keep coming back to read and post.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Hi, I'm a mom of 23 yo addict daughter. I just read your letter and it touched me, so many of my feelings you put into words. Thank you.
Welcome to SR, many,many great people here to walk w/ you. You are definately in the right place!!
susan
:ghug3
Welcome to SR, many,many great people here to walk w/ you. You are definately in the right place!!
susan
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 50
Hi huckster and welcome. Sorry to hear all that you have been going through. I am happy you found SR. Everyone here is full of love, support and hope. Just reading the posts have helped me so much. My prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
You are most definitely in the right place, and you are welcome to share with us. What a blessing in disguise the overdose was. What a nightmare. Thank God your son took it for the major wake-up call it was. As far as his girlfriend - well you don't have to trust her or have her in your home or anything else that makes you uncomfortable. It is possible that she is also seeking recovery and truly wishing to make amends, but it is just as possible she isn't. so trust your gut. The truth (either way) has a way of coming out with time.
BTW, I'm the mom of a 19 y/o addict daughter - crack & heroin. She is experiencing one of those 'blessings in disguise' in the form of the AIDS virus. she's not clean yet, but as of today she is willing to go into treatment.
BTW, I'm the mom of a 19 y/o addict daughter - crack & heroin. She is experiencing one of those 'blessings in disguise' in the form of the AIDS virus. she's not clean yet, but as of today she is willing to go into treatment.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: At the zoo
Posts: 244
Welcome Huckster
Yes, you're in the right place and many more moms will be here to welcome you. My Ad is 22 and now has 8 months clean her doc was heroin also.
It's very hard to begin to trust even your own child, to try to have to trust a abf or agf is really a stretch. Especially one who has stolen from you.
It's always hard to know what is manipulation and what isn't.
There are many people here who can offer their experiences and you can gather a lot of strength from every one who posts here.
Keep coming back!
Yes, you're in the right place and many more moms will be here to welcome you. My Ad is 22 and now has 8 months clean her doc was heroin also.
It's very hard to begin to trust even your own child, to try to have to trust a abf or agf is really a stretch. Especially one who has stolen from you.
It's always hard to know what is manipulation and what isn't.
There are many people here who can offer their experiences and you can gather a lot of strength from every one who posts here.
Keep coming back!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I too want to welcome you Huckster, I'm another mom of an addict.
You most definitely are in a good place here, among people who have been where you are and truly understand your pain.
Take a read around, make yourself comfortable, and know that we are happy to have you walk with us on this journey of recovery.
Hugs
You most definitely are in a good place here, among people who have been where you are and truly understand your pain.
Take a read around, make yourself comfortable, and know that we are happy to have you walk with us on this journey of recovery.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Hi Huckster and welcome!
I am the mom who has a son that is addicted to painkillers. To complicate things even more, I am in early recovery myself from alcoholism. I have 15 days. I know I have a ton of issues to face, my alcoholism, learning how to live with an addicted son and detach.
This site has helped me so much. I take things one day at a time, look here for help and go to 12 step meetings. Please keep posting and keep reading.
It gets better, I promise!
I am the mom who has a son that is addicted to painkillers. To complicate things even more, I am in early recovery myself from alcoholism. I have 15 days. I know I have a ton of issues to face, my alcoholism, learning how to live with an addicted son and detach.
This site has helped me so much. I take things one day at a time, look here for help and go to 12 step meetings. Please keep posting and keep reading.
It gets better, I promise!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
2 of my adult children are alcoholics/addits.
While dealing with their issues ...I too began
to drink and eventually I became an alcoholic.
I mention this as a caucion to those having
loved ones in addiction.
It's a danger to begin to self medicate.
These days I am a recovered alcoholic.
I certainly hope this is true for my children.
I turned them over to God and let go
to regain my sanity and live in peace.
Welcome Huckster...
While dealing with their issues ...I too began
to drink and eventually I became an alcoholic.
I mention this as a caucion to those having
loved ones in addiction.
It's a danger to begin to self medicate.
These days I am a recovered alcoholic.
I certainly hope this is true for my children.
I turned them over to God and let go
to regain my sanity and live in peace.
Welcome Huckster...
Trying to get out of God's way
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freeland Michigan
Posts: 60
Welcome Huckster - my son is 20, and living who knows where at the moment, running from probation violations as well. As for his drug of choice, I have no idea, I think he's tried a little bit of everything, whatever is available to him at the time. I am fairly new here as well, please read the sticky's at the top of the forum for some great stuff :-))
You are in the right place, and the people here are nothing short of AWESOME in their insight into this problem that we are all facing :-))
You are in the right place, and the people here are nothing short of AWESOME in their insight into this problem that we are all facing :-))
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
Welcome Huckster,
I'm so glad you found us, you are in the right place. The insight and support here is incredible. More then once it has restored my sanity. I'm the wife of an addict who's DOC is Percocet, Oxycotin, loratab, loracet, hydrocodone and God knows what else. We may not can help them or fix them but we can sure help and fix ourselves.
Post here often : )
I'm so glad you found us, you are in the right place. The insight and support here is incredible. More then once it has restored my sanity. I'm the wife of an addict who's DOC is Percocet, Oxycotin, loratab, loracet, hydrocodone and God knows what else. We may not can help them or fix them but we can sure help and fix ourselves.
Post here often : )
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Huckster.... Welcome from another mom - both kids addicts.
My life saver has been Alanon, and I don't say that lightly. In Alanon, I not only learned to love and accept my children as they are (instead of how *I* want them to be), but also learned a lot about the nature of..... me.
You might think this has little to do with your first post, but one thing about me that I have learned is that I like to control things. You name it, I've had a finger in the pie. The good thing is that I share this trait with a whole boat load of Alanons.... so they love me as I am and show me by relating THEIR experiences how they have learned to deal with a world that refuses to be corraled.
It has been a long, long trip - and not the one I thought I was embarking on, either.
Please give them a try. They can make your world a better place, and maybe even help you get some peace around your son and his girlfriend.
I wish you well.
((Hugs))
My life saver has been Alanon, and I don't say that lightly. In Alanon, I not only learned to love and accept my children as they are (instead of how *I* want them to be), but also learned a lot about the nature of..... me.
You might think this has little to do with your first post, but one thing about me that I have learned is that I like to control things. You name it, I've had a finger in the pie. The good thing is that I share this trait with a whole boat load of Alanons.... so they love me as I am and show me by relating THEIR experiences how they have learned to deal with a world that refuses to be corraled.
It has been a long, long trip - and not the one I thought I was embarking on, either.
Please give them a try. They can make your world a better place, and maybe even help you get some peace around your son and his girlfriend.
I wish you well.
((Hugs))
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