cagefree

I know it's the 21st - but my daily reading of this book last night really hit home for me and I thought maybe some others might benefit from it as well.

This was originally posted by Ann awhile back and I have attached that link here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...uary-20-a.html

Here is the excerpt:

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Setting Our Own Course

We are powerless over other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want us to do and be.

We can control how we respond to other people's expectations.

During the course of any day, people may make demands on our time, talents, energy, money, and emotions. We do not have to say yes to every request. We do not have to feel guilty if we say no. And we do not have to allow the barrage of demands to control the course of our life.

We do not have to spend our life reacting to others and to the course they would prefer we took with our life.

We can set boundaries, firm limits on how far we shall go with others. We can trust and listen to ourselves. We can set goals and direction for our life. We can place value on ourselves.

We can own our power with people.

Buy some time. Think about what you want. Consider how responding to another's needs will affect the course of your life. We live or own life by not letting other people, their expectations, and their demands control the course of our life. We can let them have their demands and expectations; we can allow them to have their feelings. We can own our power to choose the path that is right for us.

Today, God, help me own my power by detaching and peacefully choosing the course of action that is right for me. Help me know I can detach from the expectations and wants of others. Help me stop pleasing other people and start pleasing myself.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Yesterday, after a tough day at work I was later thinking things through. After reading this I was able let go of other's expectations of me that I came to realize were unreasonable and unacceptable. I cannot change someone else's expectation of me, only my expectation of me. I voiced my concerns making sure I used "I" statements at the time and spoke my peace, standing up for myself - which I could control...and I feel really good about that. My old codependent self would have let the bad happen, not said a word and then later berated myself into depression with "why me?" Instead I feel pretty good about myself and less trusting of those with unreasonable expectations.