Andrew Ogren

I've found that business and sobriety don't always mix. Working in a sales environment can sometimes be hard when the drinks are flowing and everyone's having a good time. Conversation always leads to "why don't you drink" and this can rarely be avoided without blatantly lying. Oftentimes I feel as though I'm living a double life, one in business and one within the circles of alcoholics anonymous. I usually play along and tell the drinkers about my wild and crazy college days and then let them know they're lucky I'm not drunk at that point in time.

Aysha

I say it really isnt anyones business the details of your past drinking or present sobriety.
Pick and choose when and who you want to let in on that info.
I like your approach to it. It's not lieing and it is a little humerous too.
Your doing great handling that.
Welcome to SR and hope to see you more.

jimhere

I just tell co-workers I don't drink. As has been said, unless I care to go into details, no one presses the issue.

I had the same concerns early on. What I've come to find out, the real problem is that I'm self-centered. I'm concerned about what the others will think of me because I don't drink.
Jim

User_Name

I'm a salesman also, business-to-business sales. I actually talk to my sponsor quite a bit about there being two of "me". One is suit & tie, the other is AA member who is working a path to recovery. I actually had better sales numbers when I was drinking since I didn't really care to much if people thought I was a complete *******. I would call on anyone anytime without much respect to them. I have to realize there is a business me and a "real" me who has feelings, emotions, and is sensative.

I really try to avoid all chamber of commerce "mixers" since they are usually a drinking event with a networking name. I never got much business out of them anyways so no loss there. Essentially I need to judge whether it is imperative that I attend, and if not I don't go. On the other hand when it's a corporate event or something mandatory I'll carry a NA drink in my hand and people don't ask why I'm not drinking (because I am, it's called soda). Clients also don't ask to buy me a drink since I already have one.

I always liked going to networking events since there was usually alcohol there, but I never ended up getting much business from them (but I did get drunk). Now I don't go, and if I absolutely have to go I'll show my face and leave as quickly as possible, obiously with grace and when I made my rounds to the people I needed to see.

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

I quit my stressful job to protect my early sobriety.
Too much temptation and I was not staying sober.

Good to see a new member
Please keep posting with us.

jimhere

Can I suggest some reading material? There is a little book called "A New Pair of Glasses." It is a transcript of a series of talks given at a men's retreat by Chuck C. In it, Chuck shares how he used AA principles in his his business and became very successful. He didn't have to lead a double life to succeed.

Sportster

My advice is to go straight at it and don't try to straddle a double life. What the hell, whether you drink or not is strictly your business. Actually a lot of people don't drink alcohol anymore, especially with the risk of DUI due to the legal limits being so low.
just my 2 cents.

GreenTea

In my experience, most people really don't care either way... "What'll you have?" answered with "Coke please" is usually sufficient.

Once I was asked, "What's the matter? Did you quit drinking or something?"... I responded truthfully, "I just don't *feel* like it right now". Their reaction was "Oh..." followed by a shrug.

Another time I was at a birthday party with some "distant co-workers" and their friends. I was out of the country and it was an honor to even be invited. A number of them were trying hard to get me to taste their local wines and whiskey, (two things they were very proud of). I didn't want to offend them, but there was no way I was going to relapse, (and certainly not while in a strange land on a business trip). It was one of those delicate situations -- how to satisfactorily decline without coming across as a "stuck-up American"...

So I was honest with them... I told them that I didn't drink.

"...Well, you see... I used to drink. In fact, I used to drink quite a lot. But one day I finally had enough and so I quit... I feel much better now"... They looked at me, and then they nodded, and then they looked at each other and smiled... "So, no more hangovers anymore, huh?" ... I said, "That's right!" with a great big grin on my face... More than anything, I think it earned some respect from them.

About a third of them got sh#t-faced... Another third drank moderately... And the remaining third stuck to soda and water, like me... We had some *great* conversation!

StayinAlive

If someone whom i have a re pore with and have to deal with on a constant basis asks me "why don't you drink?" i find it easier just to get it out there, with out getting into details. Like "things just run more smoothly for me with out alcohol" or "Alcohol has caused problems in the past." they should be able to read between the lines.

If ones intentions are suspect, Why don't you drink? in which i respond "for personal reasons" or "i would rather not say" and change the topic.

GreenTea

"...I don't like the effect it has on me..." ... No need to mention the handcuffs!