Popov_overdose

I had the most horrible relapse, three days drinking brandy, tequila and vodka...straight, I have spent the last 72 hours detoxing, this time I felt I was gonna die and I know my kids mom is after me and probably will keep the kids away from (7 and 8 yrs. old) after not being able to receive them last friday because of drinking. Anyway, I am going to my first AA meeting this thursday and have invited her, also I am attending chucrch after 23 years of absence this wednesday. Please pray for me, pray for this woman to let me see my kids, since she has threatened to take them. She does not understand that alcohol is a disease with no cure, just rehabilitation. And that is done through love and unity with the sick one. I have repeteadly told her that not letting me see my sons is FATAL in my aspirations, but she continues to be a bully. I also understand "moms" that you would not want to drop off your kids to a drunk, but on the same token, this time I really want to try more than ever. One of my good buddies says, "get well first", but nostalgia has hit me. Anyway, going on day 4, feeling better, sleeping and getting along well with everyone that loves me, except for my ex wife who still has not answered my e-mail invitation to AA on thursday night, I hope that she not only goes, but gives me my sons on friday.
A confused and sick man,

PPO:praying

stone

Hi Popov, I recently relapsed too. I know the regret and mental torment involved, freshly.

Your good buddy has a point, she might need to see more continued action on your part.

AA is a good start I went back after a few months tonight.

Popov_overdose

I am going to miss my babies, but I know I have to pay the fiddler...it's gonna be extremely hard!

Anna

Hi and Welcome back,

Your good buddy is absolutely right. You need to take care of yourself and get well for yourself. The best way to show your wife that you're serious about recovery, is through your actions. I can imagine how painful it is to not see your children, but you need to do this for yourself.

I hope you keep reading and posting.

Negative Man

Popov... I don't have kids, so I can't imagine how difficult that is. But keep in mind: when you get sober, you won't have to prove anything to anyone. They'll just see and KNOW that you're dependable and trustworthy again. It's almost as if when we are really concentrating on our recovery, we don't have to *spin* other people's opinions.

In any case, your ex will come around when your recovery does. So, just take things one day at a time. We can see just by your story how much you love those kids. I'll send prayers your way. Thanks very much for posting your story.

Hi Stone... I just relapsed and am getting back on here too. Sorry about circumstances of having company, but I'm glad to see you nonetheless.

Popov_overdose

I think maybe this weekend would be ok to just speak to them on the phone to tell them I love em and just see them next week when I am 13 days + sober...I would just die to see a smile from them, I would give anything, and yes, you are also right negative man, after I prove myself to everyone, I have nothing else to say to anyone...:praying

adore79

Good luck Popov!!!!!!!!!!

Negative Man

Popov... At least for me it was all about proving something to myself. and I mean that -- my *self*. I didn't have much of a sense of self for so long, it was hard to prove anything to it!

But once we can do that, the people around us know it. It really broke my heart for my friend L to say yesterday on the phone: I know you drank this weekend. I can hear it in your voice.

She wasn't hearing anything slurred or anything. She just heard me down on myself.

Anyways, back to you, Popov: Sounds like your plan about next week is a good one. Maybe taking a little pressure off of yourself would be a good thing.

I'll be thinking about you! Come over to the 2 Week and Under Board and hang out. It's a cool place.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-7.html

nodrinkingzone

Welcome back, you made it - that's the most important thing.

It sounds like you know a lot more about yourself and where you're at, so I'll just wish you all the best. Take it easy,

ndz

CarolD

Yes....God and AA work great for me.

You too can find solid recovery
Welcome back P.O.

gravity

This can happen, will happen if you take care of yourself - you can do this!. I'm a Dad with two small children and my heart goes out to you. Take it easy on yourself. They love you.

Kickit

Good luck. I hope that things work out for you.

29a

I was a thief and liar, I was not dependable and I took advantage of people when ever it suited my purpose.

I couldn't tell people that I was getting better and trying to become a better person, who would believe me?

I had to show them, and it took months of sobriety, months of not being arrested, not stealing, not lying for them to begin to believe me.
I made amends to my parents and my sister and we have begun building relationships again. But it takes time. It's a process. Work the steps, just worry about getting sober for now, and the rest just happens.

serenityqueen

I also feel that it's best to take some time to work on you. It's Thursday night and where I'm at, it's 7:15 p.m., usual meeting time right about now. I hope you are there! I hope you understand when I say that it may be best if the kid's Mom doesn't show up. I feel you need to do this on your own. This is your Recovery. Not hers. And you have to do this for yourself, not the kids. I am a Mother and I know that I never knew the meaning of unconditional love until I held my Son in my arms for the first time. I knew at that moment I would do anything for him. But I couldn't get clean for him though, I had to do it for myself, and as others said, the rest will fall into place. Use this weekend, and any other weekends, evenings, whenever, to go to meetings, work on yourself. Then, when you do see your kids, you will be giving them not just a Clean Dad, but also a Dad who is well on his way to Recovery. Sometimes people do things, like keeping your kids from you, as a way to punish you for relapsing. But, what they don't realize, you are punishing yourself enough. Don't dwell on your relapse, but learn from it and move on. Thank God you lived through this to be a Dad to your children. We all have another relapse, but no one is guaranteed another Recovery. Glad you're here with us.

Popov_overdose

Thanks guys, I am here, sober. I actually had the kids this weekend and am now working on day NINE! I feel great! more energy, just wish I could have more sleep. The kids were happier than ever, since I actually woke up early both days and made breakfast and lunch. This morning they were thrilled as the little one said, "thany you for not drinking poison"....BROKE MY HEART, but I did not let him see me sweat ;-)

gravity

You just made my day. Thank you.

Popov_overdose

I'm glad, hope all is well.