gravity

Today is my 64th day of sobriety. One of my first posts on SR expressed my wish to someday accept that I can’t drink and be okay with it. I was told by some very supportive people that I could, in fact, attain this goal. Thank you so much for this early support – you believed in me when I did not. A kind word really does make such a difference.

I’ve put together sober days in the past but I have never felt so strong this far in. In the past, I may have made it to 64 days but I would have been of troubled mind. I would have been questioning why I needed to quit drinking and obsessing about that next drink. Those past efforts really pale in comparison to what I have achieved this time around. What I want to share is what I believe is an important part, maybe the key, of how I got this far.

I accept that I can’t drink alcohol. As many know, it often takes years & years of hellish experiences & damage (both known & unknown) to finally face this absolute truth. There is just no way to rationalize it anymore.

Most of the time, I’m okay with the fact that I can’t drink alcohol. I really had to accept that my thinking was wrong (still is in many ways), that I have to continue to seek out answers, and ask for the help of others. And I have to practice what I learn – even if it hurts. This may be a lifelong process but so be it. Asking for help is not a humbling experience. I don’t know everything (surprise, surprise!) and so much of what is written or told to me requires interpretation, teaching. And I need support. I try to keep an open mind but also accept that some advice is contradictory in nature & may or may not be useful to my recovery. I believe that everybody’s path is unique.

I also accept that I have made mistakes along the way – stopped doing what needed doing and ended up so close to that place where I was just one speed dial away from saying to hell with it all. I may never attain 100% blissful sobriety and I’m okay with that. If I stated that I never feel deprived or that life is treating me unfairly I’d be lying (I think many of you would know this). Most of the time, however, I accept that I am just a guy who can’t drink. I have got so many good things going for me (and other challenges for that matter) the fact that I can’t drink is really insignificant. I am not somehow damaged or viewed by others as weak – it’s just a tiny part of who I am – neither good nor bad. Nothing, really.

I really just wanted to share this part of my experiences over the past 64 days. I did not believe in myself on December 17, 2007. Today, I feel good, almost comfortable in my own skin. I honestly don’t know for certain if I will make it through day 65 but I like my chances.

A message to everyone (including myself) in early sobriety. Believe in yourself. Keep working hard. Fight like hell through the tough days (they do pass). And don’t have that first drink.

Life is good!

Hope

Gravity,

I have followed your progress through the beginning to now and I'm so proud of you!

Those encouraging words you posted at the bottom of your post hold true even today for me. Some days I struggle to believe in myself and on a day like today I'm fighting through the tough part because I believe that the good parts are ahead. It's so worth it and it will happen as long as we stay away from the first drink.

Thank you for your great post! Congrats on your sober days. Thanks for sharing your journey!:ghug3

SF69

Thank you Gravity. I'm happy to see that the changes you've made this time around are working so well for you. Continued success!

Alive

Gravity. Acceptance in all key points of our lives is the true release to freedom on Earth, to me.

I'm proud of you And believing in ourselves is....

Rowan

Thanks for a powerful share and well done on 64 days

stone

Thanks Gravity. Good stuff there.

29a

Thanks gravity, good post and a good reminder

windsurfer33

Fantastic post, really hits home for me all of what you said. Well done on 60+ days...stick with it.
Kind regards,

searching

Congrats on your 60+ and the acceptance of your situation, some of us are still searching...

That Dude

I myself had to stop fighting, I had to surrender completely and turn it over to my HP. I alone cannot stay sober. The first one is always the one too many. Today, Life is good.

Thanks dude.