coming back to recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: charlotte, nc
Posts: 2
coming back to recovery
my name is Barb. I had 2 years recovery until oct. 2007. I am addicted to pills and alcohol. I have had a difficult time with maintaining more than 2-4 weeks sober since Oct. 2007. I have a sponsor, a home group and sisters in sobriety...but what my sponsor and I have discovered that my problem is not turning to my higher power. Steps 2 and 3 have been difficult... I do believe that God is my higher power but have lost Faith and the willingness to let Him redirect my thinking. I was told to pray for willingness, because I do know that when I was a sober member in AA that believed that God was in charge my life was happier and blessed. Has anyone else had this happen to them? thank you.:praying
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
For me steps 2 and 3 didn't make any sense until after I had made it through my major amends.
Step 2 is just saying "i am willing to believe that a god of my understanding can restore my sanity"
step 3 was something i did everyday until I believed it
I didn't believe it fully until I took some other steps. so my advice would be just do your best on 2 and 3. Then don't hesitate with your 4th and 5th, get em done asap.
I didn't do a 4th and 5th my first go, and I got drunk and started drugging again.
Step 2 is just saying "i am willing to believe that a god of my understanding can restore my sanity"
step 3 was something i did everyday until I believed it
I didn't believe it fully until I took some other steps. so my advice would be just do your best on 2 and 3. Then don't hesitate with your 4th and 5th, get em done asap.
I didn't do a 4th and 5th my first go, and I got drunk and started drugging again.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!
Let go and let God was the topic of my noon meeting.
18 of us agreed that prayer was the answer.
I shared that saying the Serenity Prayer
slowly and thinking of the meaning
helps me immensley.
There....you just went to a meeting in Georgia!
Glad you found us
Let go and let God was the topic of my noon meeting.
18 of us agreed that prayer was the answer.
I shared that saying the Serenity Prayer
slowly and thinking of the meaning
helps me immensley.
There....you just went to a meeting in Georgia!Glad you found us
Pickachu...I choose YOU!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: raleigh nc
Posts: 84
Hi Barb!
I'm a newbie here also, and a NC native (down the road from you in the capitial).
Its so good to know you have a lot of resources in your recovery at your fingertips. As far as spirituality goes, I'm not working the steps as of yet, but I know that the HP and surrender will take a lot of work on my part. So many tough things have gone down in my life, and while I know I am blessed, it's hard to surrender (I'm a pretty bad control freak)
I know sometime down the road in my recovery, I will need to deal with this issue, so I'll be watching replies.
In the meantime, welcome, I have gotten lots of good advice, support and great new friends from SR!
I'm a newbie here also, and a NC native (down the road from you in the capitial).
Its so good to know you have a lot of resources in your recovery at your fingertips. As far as spirituality goes, I'm not working the steps as of yet, but I know that the HP and surrender will take a lot of work on my part. So many tough things have gone down in my life, and while I know I am blessed, it's hard to surrender (I'm a pretty bad control freak)
I know sometime down the road in my recovery, I will need to deal with this issue, so I'll be watching replies.
In the meantime, welcome, I have gotten lots of good advice, support and great new friends from SR!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Welcome to our recovery community. I also go to AA, and understand what it's like to lose faith. I also didn't have willingness, so, like you, I had to pray for willingness. Little by little, slowly but surely, my connection with a HP has been restored and my faith is stronger than ever, although still evolving.
Just keep praying for the willingness, and it will come. Have faith, my friend.
I hope you continue to post.
Just keep praying for the willingness, and it will come. Have faith, my friend.
I hope you continue to post.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
So glad you've joined us Barb, welcome to SR, and welcome back to recovery.
I share some simple things so often that I'm sure I sound like a broken record, but here I go again anyway:
#1. We don't shoot our wounded. We're just glad you made it back.
And this which so many of us know about God, he's been there even when we thought he left us.......
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."
The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."
I share some simple things so often that I'm sure I sound like a broken record, but here I go again anyway:
#1. We don't shoot our wounded. We're just glad you made it back.
And this which so many of us know about God, he's been there even when we thought he left us.......
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."
The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
It has to be your # 1 priority
Too many people discount how cunning and baffling this is.
I can't eat one chocolate cookie same as I can't have just one drink.
Will power alone has caused many of us to get drunk
Too many people discount how cunning and baffling this is.
I can't eat one chocolate cookie same as I can't have just one drink.
Will power alone has caused many of us to get drunk
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
The origins of willingness
My willingness stems from the 1st step, It is easy to say, yes I am powerless and my life is unmanageable. However, fully understanding the implication behind this statement takes a bit of work, and an effective sponsor. The Big Book of Alcoholics is where I found my step one truth.
When I saw clearly that I would absolutley die, without the help of a power greater than myself, I became willing to go through the process that has proven so reliable over a long period of time. I had nothing to loose.
I took action using spiritual principles that I did not understand, and I experienced results I could not deny. I agree with 29A, it was only after going through the formal work, did any of it make any sense.
When I saw clearly that I would absolutley die, without the help of a power greater than myself, I became willing to go through the process that has proven so reliable over a long period of time. I had nothing to loose.
I took action using spiritual principles that I did not understand, and I experienced results I could not deny. I agree with 29A, it was only after going through the formal work, did any of it make any sense.
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