Wasnt even going to mention it.....
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Wasnt even going to mention it.....
But I need some more encouragement and reassurance right now.
Today I have 60 days again. When I get through tomorrow It will be the first time ever since I was 12 that I have gone this long not messed up on one thing or another.
Wasnt going to say anything because it really doesnt seem like a big deal.
But it is in a way because I am at that point where I usually always lose it and I am off like a maniac again.
Plus I cant say for sure how it would be if I did have a car.
And I really need some support after the past couple days. This stupid dime a dozen job is really wearing on my patience and nerves.
I know I am capable of much more than this here. It is a minimum wage job mostly for kids in school. But because I am an idiot. I have to start further down on the ladder than I ever have before. I am ashamed and disappointed I let myself get to this. But I am very thankful I am clean and sober however it may be possible. I dont want to go into another institution or jail. And I dont want to look death in the face ever again.
So with all my pity me feelings today. I know it could be a hell of alot worse.
2 weeks I will be all alone for 10 days. Very nervous.
Anyway....Thx to all my SR people for always accepting me even in my ugly ugly phases. I have learned alot here. Not only about my recovery and addiction. But also about how truly forgiving and understanding and accepting people can really be. And I have always said to my friends. You have got to have a tolerance of steel to put up with me alot of times.
Thanks again all of you.
((((((((SR))))))))))))
Today I have 60 days again. When I get through tomorrow It will be the first time ever since I was 12 that I have gone this long not messed up on one thing or another.
Wasnt going to say anything because it really doesnt seem like a big deal.
But it is in a way because I am at that point where I usually always lose it and I am off like a maniac again.
Plus I cant say for sure how it would be if I did have a car.
And I really need some support after the past couple days. This stupid dime a dozen job is really wearing on my patience and nerves.
I know I am capable of much more than this here. It is a minimum wage job mostly for kids in school. But because I am an idiot. I have to start further down on the ladder than I ever have before. I am ashamed and disappointed I let myself get to this. But I am very thankful I am clean and sober however it may be possible. I dont want to go into another institution or jail. And I dont want to look death in the face ever again.
So with all my pity me feelings today. I know it could be a hell of alot worse.
2 weeks I will be all alone for 10 days. Very nervous.
Anyway....Thx to all my SR people for always accepting me even in my ugly ugly phases. I have learned alot here. Not only about my recovery and addiction. But also about how truly forgiving and understanding and accepting people can really be. And I have always said to my friends. You have got to have a tolerance of steel to put up with me alot of times.
Thanks again all of you.
((((((((SR))))))))))))
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
So are you saying I am an idiot?
You are not an idiot. I am amazed at how much wisdom you have and how fast you learn. Drugs or not...when most of us start at a new job, we start at a lower place then where we should be... that is just sound business practice for the bosses.
Least you have a job. I wonder where I will start when I get one.
You are a smart lady and your recovery grows stronger every day.
Hold onto the things that you know and use the tools you have collected.
One day at a time is how we all walk through our recovery.
60 days is awsome. Your doing great.
You are not an idiot. I am amazed at how much wisdom you have and how fast you learn. Drugs or not...when most of us start at a new job, we start at a lower place then where we should be... that is just sound business practice for the bosses.
Least you have a job. I wonder where I will start when I get one.
You are a smart lady and your recovery grows stronger every day.
Hold onto the things that you know and use the tools you have collected.
One day at a time is how we all walk through our recovery.
60 days is awsome. Your doing great.
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
goodness on 60ness keep it up. recovery comes first, everything else will follow. i work a terrible job, 7.50 an hour & the funds are low. had to pull my stock.....no worries, your job doesn't define you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Congrats on 60, Trish...
and don't worry about 2 weeks...2 weeks isn't here yet..
plan for it, have a strategy in place to stay strong...hit as many meetings as you can in that car...but don't *worry* about it
one day at a time...just don't use today. As good advice today as it will be in 2 weeks time
D
and don't worry about 2 weeks...2 weeks isn't here yet..
plan for it, have a strategy in place to stay strong...hit as many meetings as you can in that car...but don't *worry* about it
one day at a time...just don't use today. As good advice today as it will be in 2 weeks time
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Way to go, Chiy! You CAN do this. Try not to worry, make a PLAN instead. When your mind starts to spin on the "oh mys" and "what ifs" of you being alone, turn your attention to what you will do to stay sober. Plan it in detail. Leave no stone unturned. Use all your senses. Write it down if you have to, re-read it every minute of every day if you need to. You CAN do it!
Oh, and 60 DAYS IS HUGE!!!!!!!!! Be proud of yourself!
love, Jomey
Oh, and 60 DAYS IS HUGE!!!!!!!!! Be proud of yourself!
love, Jomey
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
Stay in the moment, you don't have to stay sober forever, just for today. You can do anything for 24 hours.
A little trick I picked up in a meeting, and it sounds stupid until you try it, is whenever you find yourself dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, in your mind just think about what your doing right then. Like "i am sitting in my chair, I am typing on my keyboard, i am sitting at my desk". I swear it sounds stupid, but it works.
Another thing, when your down about your job, or lack of car, what it really is is a lack of gratitude. Try making a gratitude list.
When I make one, I write down the letters A-Z on a piece of paper, then write down one thing down that your greatful for that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
silly little tricks but hey, whatever gets you though the day.
And congrats, 60 days if frickin amazing
what a blessing
A little trick I picked up in a meeting, and it sounds stupid until you try it, is whenever you find yourself dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, in your mind just think about what your doing right then. Like "i am sitting in my chair, I am typing on my keyboard, i am sitting at my desk". I swear it sounds stupid, but it works.
Another thing, when your down about your job, or lack of car, what it really is is a lack of gratitude. Try making a gratitude list.
When I make one, I write down the letters A-Z on a piece of paper, then write down one thing down that your greatful for that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
silly little tricks but hey, whatever gets you though the day.
And congrats, 60 days if frickin amazing
what a blessing
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