10th Avenue Freeze Out...
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
10th Avenue Freeze Out...
Wow, what a trigger!
There I was, minding my own business, puttering around the house with my IPOD on. The baby was down for her nap, all was quiet, all my housework was done, and I was feeling great. Then, my favorite Springsteen song comes on '10th Ave.....', I turn it up and 2 seconds later....BOOM!
Like that, after 20 days of sobriety and 100% commitment, I was this close to pouring a drink. As I listened to this song, I romanced about all the FUN times (ya right) I'd had partying to that song. I wanted a drink SO BAD I COULD TASTE IT!
I am astounded at how overwhelming the desire to drink was.
I thought about pouring the drink. I actually thought about it.
But instead, I tore out my earphones, put the IPOD down and sat down and breathed. I picked up a Suduko book sitting beside me and did a puzzle, just to re-focus my mind. And it passed. That was about an hour ago and I'm ok so far. I can feel it though. That burning desire in my chest. It's Friday night, hubby will be home soon, baby will be down for the night in a couple of hours. And I'll be free to have those drinks..........
Free....ya right.
I know the drill, if I have one, I'll be drunk. I'll blackout. I'll be sick tomorrow.
WTF
It's the flippin idea of it. The romance of it...I know that! I know it isn't real. I know it won't be good if I drink. I'm telling that demon to 'F off'......but yet......there it is, in my chest, gnawing away at me.
I honestly feel like screaming. That is how frustrated and confused I feel. I hate this demon that lives inside of me.
I'm NOT going to drink. Bottom line. But it is a real struggle right now.
Thanks for letting me rant!
There I was, minding my own business, puttering around the house with my IPOD on. The baby was down for her nap, all was quiet, all my housework was done, and I was feeling great. Then, my favorite Springsteen song comes on '10th Ave.....', I turn it up and 2 seconds later....BOOM!
Like that, after 20 days of sobriety and 100% commitment, I was this close to pouring a drink. As I listened to this song, I romanced about all the FUN times (ya right) I'd had partying to that song. I wanted a drink SO BAD I COULD TASTE IT!
I am astounded at how overwhelming the desire to drink was.
I thought about pouring the drink. I actually thought about it.
But instead, I tore out my earphones, put the IPOD down and sat down and breathed. I picked up a Suduko book sitting beside me and did a puzzle, just to re-focus my mind. And it passed. That was about an hour ago and I'm ok so far. I can feel it though. That burning desire in my chest. It's Friday night, hubby will be home soon, baby will be down for the night in a couple of hours. And I'll be free to have those drinks..........
Free....ya right.
I know the drill, if I have one, I'll be drunk. I'll blackout. I'll be sick tomorrow.
WTF
It's the flippin idea of it. The romance of it...I know that! I know it isn't real. I know it won't be good if I drink. I'm telling that demon to 'F off'......but yet......there it is, in my chest, gnawing away at me.
I honestly feel like screaming. That is how frustrated and confused I feel. I hate this demon that lives inside of me.
I'm NOT going to drink. Bottom line. But it is a real struggle right now.
Thanks for letting me rant!
Pickachu...I choose YOU!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: raleigh nc
Posts: 84
((((Tay))))
It's so weird, songs can be triggers for me too (and yea, Bruce brings back a lot of memories doing drinkin' games)
You didn't give in to the demon. You didn't give in!
I'm so glad you posted. It will pass, and the good feelings of NO HANGOVER, NO BLACKOUTS will remind you why you are trying so hard. And you beat this one trigger.
WTG!:ghug3
It's so weird, songs can be triggers for me too (and yea, Bruce brings back a lot of memories doing drinkin' games)
You didn't give in to the demon. You didn't give in!
I'm so glad you posted. It will pass, and the good feelings of NO HANGOVER, NO BLACKOUTS will remind you why you are trying so hard. And you beat this one trigger.
WTG!:ghug3
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Tay,
You're doing soo good! You've come a really long way in your sober time.
Cravings suck but you handled it well. I don't remember if you are an AA'r but now is the time to start working the Steps if you are.
Big hugs,
Karen
You're doing soo good! You've come a really long way in your sober time.
Cravings suck but you handled it well. I don't remember if you are an AA'r but now is the time to start working the Steps if you are.
Big hugs,
Karen
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
Thanks everyone. I made it through. Went to be early and did Suduko for three hours! Man, do I know how to rock on a Friday night! LOL
I have tried to get rid of the booze in my house, but my husband drinks. I've asked for his support, but he still buys the booze and drinks it in front of me. I guess I could speak up and tell him that doesn't help. But I haven't because I don't want to impose my hardships on him.
Anyways, I made it through. We leave in a few hours for our families house, out of town. We have a birthday party to go to tonight. I am prepared to do what I need to do tonight should the urge come again. I have the name and number of an AA friend in my cell phone in case I should really struggle.
The weirdest thing happened this morning! I had bad drinking dreams last night, when I woke up this morning, I lay in bed in so much pain. I was overwhelmed with pain. So I prayed. Begged for the pain to be removed, and as I prayed, I felt it go away. When I finished my prayer, the pain was gone. I couldn't believe it. I actually sat up and 'searched' my insides for some residual pain. Nothing. It was gone. I am in total amazement this morning. That has never happened before. So tonight, if I struggle again, I'll be praying my ass off!
I'll post back tomorrow to let you know how I made out.
Today is day 21. I don't intend to throw away 21 days of sobriety.
Hugs to all.
Tay.
I have tried to get rid of the booze in my house, but my husband drinks. I've asked for his support, but he still buys the booze and drinks it in front of me. I guess I could speak up and tell him that doesn't help. But I haven't because I don't want to impose my hardships on him.
Anyways, I made it through. We leave in a few hours for our families house, out of town. We have a birthday party to go to tonight. I am prepared to do what I need to do tonight should the urge come again. I have the name and number of an AA friend in my cell phone in case I should really struggle.
The weirdest thing happened this morning! I had bad drinking dreams last night, when I woke up this morning, I lay in bed in so much pain. I was overwhelmed with pain. So I prayed. Begged for the pain to be removed, and as I prayed, I felt it go away. When I finished my prayer, the pain was gone. I couldn't believe it. I actually sat up and 'searched' my insides for some residual pain. Nothing. It was gone. I am in total amazement this morning. That has never happened before. So tonight, if I struggle again, I'll be praying my ass off!
I'll post back tomorrow to let you know how I made out.
Today is day 21. I don't intend to throw away 21 days of sobriety.
Hugs to all.
Tay.
Pickachu...I choose YOU!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: raleigh nc
Posts: 84
Originally Posted by tay-lyn 
I have tried to get rid of the booze in my house, but my husband drinks. I've asked for his support, but he still buys the booze and drinks it in front of me. I guess I could speak up and tell him that doesn't help. But I haven't because I don't want to impose my hardships on him.
.
.
That's real tough Tay. I'm really impressed that you stayed strong! That's some kind of temptation, and work so hard not to hit the booze when it's under your roof
Good work Tay! Here's to another sober day!
............now i am all curios about Suduko Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
I'm a little late to this thread, but...
I know how you felt Tay. There are a couple of songs* that I haven't listen to since I quit. I'm sure I could control myself, but why give myself that discomfort if I can avoid it.
*"The Have Nots" by X, it's a song about hanging out in bars and drinking all the time. And "Zero the Hero" by Black Sabbath, not sure why this one makes me want to drink.
I know how you felt Tay. There are a couple of songs* that I haven't listen to since I quit. I'm sure I could control myself, but why give myself that discomfort if I can avoid it.
*"The Have Nots" by X, it's a song about hanging out in bars and drinking all the time. And "Zero the Hero" by Black Sabbath, not sure why this one makes me want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Hi Tay, my wife hardly drinks which is a big help, maybe you and your husband can reach some sort of compromise.
I'm playing catch up at the moment and have read quite a few of your posts, and you have made me laugh a few times. Good going on the 20 odd days and best wishes to you.
I'm playing catch up at the moment and have read quite a few of your posts, and you have made me laugh a few times. Good going on the 20 odd days and best wishes to you.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 195
HI Tay,
Just like to thank you for sharing what you did in your post. I got plenty of identification! Songs are mjor triggers for me lol! I know 100% what you mean aswell- about the over whelming desire to drink- its so powerful. I have had the experince a few times in the past 13 days i've remained sober. I find sharing it with another alcoholic very helpful. I also pray - just the serenity prayer- i find this helps me. Well done for getting through it though- good thinking with the soduko! Hope you have a good weekend.
Just like to thank you for sharing what you did in your post. I got plenty of identification! Songs are mjor triggers for me lol! I know 100% what you mean aswell- about the over whelming desire to drink- its so powerful. I have had the experince a few times in the past 13 days i've remained sober. I find sharing it with another alcoholic very helpful. I also pray - just the serenity prayer- i find this helps me. Well done for getting through it though- good thinking with the soduko! Hope you have a good weekend.
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
SF69;
I was born in '70 and right from the get-go was a music junkie. I remember a few songs from 'X'. In highschool, I loved my punk and what we called 'new wave' back then.
lostmdboy;
I cannot think of college without fondly remembering all those house parties where we cranked Billy Joel. He is one of my fav's!
StayinAlive;
If you haven't tried Suduko, I suggest you don't!
It is super addictive. Once I pick up a book of puzzles, I can spend hours and hours doing them.
Anyways, thanks so much to everyone for the great replies, they were great!
I was born in '70 and right from the get-go was a music junkie. I remember a few songs from 'X'. In highschool, I loved my punk and what we called 'new wave' back then.
lostmdboy;
I cannot think of college without fondly remembering all those house parties where we cranked Billy Joel. He is one of my fav's!
StayinAlive;
If you haven't tried Suduko, I suggest you don't!
It is super addictive. Once I pick up a book of puzzles, I can spend hours and hours doing them.Anyways, thanks so much to everyone for the great replies, they were great!
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