minding my business
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 6
minding my business
Just wondering if anyone can offer advice or experience...
Although my AH and I are not living under the same roof anymore, I am wondering if any of you have to field the calls from employers who are looking for the addict.
I mean, in my attempt at "minding my own business", I wonder how much information you give them, if any...I'm still married to AH but I have taken myself and kids out of the living environment with him for over a year now and things are much more peaceful, although his addiction rages on.
AH's boss called me last night at like 10pm last, very worried.... he was supposed to fly to a company sales meeting and never showed up (big surprise). Gave them some elaborate lie about being in the hospital...blah...blah...blah....(of course he's not in the hospital)
I know I'm the next of kin to contact when an employee goes missing, but how do you handle that conversation.
I really wanted to just tell his boss the truth! But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Just told them I didn't know where he was and haven't talked to him. Of course boss was shocked that I seemed to not be in "crisis mode" regarding AH's missing persons status....
My thing is, I will not lie for him. I hate being put in the middle of this.
I know where he is... he's using ...this is a broken record. Gets a job.....empty promises...uses....disappears for a week....loses the job. Gets another job....empty promises....uses....disappears for a week....loses the job...this has been the 13 year cycle for him.
Anyone have to field calls like this and be completely baffled as to whether or not you should just lay down truth with A's boss/company or is that sticking my nose into stuff I shouldn't and let things take their course?
Any advice is welcome.
Although my AH and I are not living under the same roof anymore, I am wondering if any of you have to field the calls from employers who are looking for the addict.
I mean, in my attempt at "minding my own business", I wonder how much information you give them, if any...I'm still married to AH but I have taken myself and kids out of the living environment with him for over a year now and things are much more peaceful, although his addiction rages on.
AH's boss called me last night at like 10pm last, very worried.... he was supposed to fly to a company sales meeting and never showed up (big surprise). Gave them some elaborate lie about being in the hospital...blah...blah...blah....(of course he's not in the hospital)
I know I'm the next of kin to contact when an employee goes missing, but how do you handle that conversation.
I really wanted to just tell his boss the truth! But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Just told them I didn't know where he was and haven't talked to him. Of course boss was shocked that I seemed to not be in "crisis mode" regarding AH's missing persons status....
My thing is, I will not lie for him. I hate being put in the middle of this.
I know where he is... he's using ...this is a broken record. Gets a job.....empty promises...uses....disappears for a week....loses the job. Gets another job....empty promises....uses....disappears for a week....loses the job...this has been the 13 year cycle for him.
Anyone have to field calls like this and be completely baffled as to whether or not you should just lay down truth with A's boss/company or is that sticking my nose into stuff I shouldn't and let things take their course?
Any advice is welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: east coast
Posts: 30
good question. I wonder the same thing. My dad let his boss believe he has cancer. Still can't get over that. I have been tempted to just tell his boss the truth, but I don't know if that is the right thing to do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 325
Ewwww, the bad old days.
I must say that was one of the biggest positives of the divorce. I was no longer expected to know where he was! Some times that old saying, "treat others as you would like to be treated" bit me in the butt!!
I like the above posts reponses- Sp- sorry you are going through this.
I must say that was one of the biggest positives of the divorce. I was no longer expected to know where he was! Some times that old saying, "treat others as you would like to be treated" bit me in the butt!!
I like the above posts reponses- Sp- sorry you are going through this.
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