blitzen

hello. my name is Lanna , im 26 , live in texas .....and just a warning.....im actually pretty tipsy now. it seems i cant get through yet without a few and its literally depressing me. i don't even know when it started anymore, but ive been trying to fight it for at least a year and i at least want a place to go where, if i fail and need to start again they'll understand. im also going through a major life change at the moment, but instead of it being one of those things where its like "well, wait till you're settled then start quitting again" its more like its hampering my ability to settle. i cant handle both right now. every day i battle...do i drink now or wait ten more minutes? can i wait ten more minutes?? then its ...do i have another drink or go to bed? am i really THAT tired? then i end up probably passing out rather than sleeping. then in the morning ....hell most days i wouldntve passed a breathalizer driving to work even though id slept for six or so hours in between. im a beer drinker. but a serious one. i had 16 last night. tonight i had eight, but then ran out and have been stealing my roommates rum. i know its gross. the grossest part of all of this? if i was sober right now, i probably wouldnt be here. it all makes sense when im sober because im "going to just STOP. thats it." then.....sigh.... ok this is really pathetic. im going to hit send. if there are supportive responses, ill be back. i DO know i have a serious problem and i really do want/need help. i hope this is it, because rehab isnt exactly an option for the average person...so online support is the way to go. and if there arent supportive responses....ill find my own way. omg emoticons!:bounce

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

Many of our members who come here seeking assistance
are not yet sober. Heck...we are here because we
too need help with a situation.

My drinking eventually led me into alcoholism and
depression is why I began AA.
I did not go to a treatment center ..
it was not an option for me either.

It's great to see a new member seeking support.
Do keep checking with us...ask questions...
read our post....let us know how you are doing.

I understand ...as will many members....as I
too once found my drinking unacceptable.

There is hope and healing and health around here.
Again Lana ....Welcome to our community.

blitzen

thank you. i....wasn't really expecting a sweet response and was ready for an attack...(either im to sick to be here or not sick enough lol.) .....well...as im sure you'll see in upcoming days , this is a rare occurrence ...im at a loss for a response. thanks though for the warm welcome and for the reassurance. i guess embarrassment is part of it all , right? even at the point of seeking support from those who know? im suddenly quite glad to be here.

f911

Why is rehab not an option? Insurance? I spent 4 days in the hospital to monitor elevated blood pressure (common withdrawl event) and to rehydrate. Was given some mild anti-anxietly meds also. It's just a good place to begin because--1. it seperates you from the alcohol 2. withdrawl can be dangerous.

Upon release, all my rehab was outpatient. (Did some AA but wasn't for me.)
I really looked forward to my meetings. They were both group and one on one. Also hooked up w/a psychiatrist and diagnosed with depression--a common finding in alcoholics.

That was 3 1/2 years ago. Still have some bad days but nowhere near as bad as my best drunken days.

jane

mtnmagic

Want to welcome you here. I have spent many hours the last year drinking and trying to figure out what to do about it by reading, reading, reading on this site, both at the same time. I finally decided to reach out and am determined to put sobriety first. I have 8 days today. It is really tough, but I have hope. There are some incredible people on this site. Hope you stick around.

blitzen

rehab is not an option due to insurance and lack of money/time. i moved to a new city a few days ago (in with my brother from my parents) and have been without a job for 8 days and am already going insane (thank god because im watching my already pitiful savings dwindle...) i have to have a job soon and cant afford the time away from searching to go to rehab . plus...(this will sound stupid) rehab is scary. i want to handle this on my own , or at least try before i hand myself over. if i get to that point, it will mean ive failed at this point. and if i fail completely at this point, who's to say i wont give up there too and sign myself out? for me, this is a good first step (well...first other than saying "ok. six beers a night and no more than that! which is pitiful as it is...and doesn't work lol) everyone i know seems to have this same problem...only not as bad as mine at all. they all say they understand that i have a drinking problem, they do too. only...they function better. and can go days without. i haven't been twelve hours without in at least a year and it makes me cryie to think about going more. oh wait. this was supposed to be about rehab. (yeah...im so very easily distracted. even in my own head. anyone have a map to my train of thought??)


mtnmagic, thanks for the welcome! congratulations on your 8 days. i hope to say the same thing soon. youve made me feel better about the reading posts for inspiration. i was kindof feeling like a silent stalker reading things . voyerish lol. im already convinced i will stick around. i cant wait for tomorrow on the boards already. (god im such an internet nerd. hey. at least this isnt a star trek forum or harry potter board. not that im a member of any of those.....)

CarolD

Yes detoxing from alcohol is a serious medical issue.
Stopping abruptly can be dangerous if done alone.
Most hospital ER's are knowledgeable about withdrawals.

When I drank excessively so did my friends.
Who else would I hang with?
These days my friends are sober ones
found in AA
We share the same lifestyles and goals.

I also quit working in bars and restaurants.
Too much free booze and I did not stay sober.

Just in case that's where your job
search is headed for.

Don't worry about your scattered mind.
Mine cleared up with sobriety...mostly...

Take care ....be as safe as possible.
Absolutely no driving just now.