SerenitySeaker

Last night my AH showered, got all dolled up and left the house at 630 pm. I asked him, "Where are you headed out to?" and his response was "You wouldn't believe it if I told you, I'm going to a meeting."

Because this is just the type of thing I wanted to hear I fell hook line and sinker especially since I knew earlier that day he had seen a friend from his days of recovery.

Well when I woke up at 130 am and he still wasn't home I realized I had been fooled. When he finally came home and chose to sleep on the couch it was the second sign.

I immediately started to beat myself up about falling for the lies so easily.

Now I can find out if he really went. I see this friend of his instant messaging all the time. I could easily engage him in a conversation and find out. Then when my suspicions are confirmed I can easily confront my AH, might even feel vindicated in doing so especially when he looks me in the eye and lies.

But what I realized just now is that I am not going to do that. I know he lied, he knows he lied, he wouldn't admit it even if I came to him evidence. It's not going to make him want recovery. It's only going to make my last few days in this house with him even more miserable. So what is the point?

I just keep repeating the serenity prayer and seeing this little change in myself as a small victory.

peaceteach

I just keep repeating the serenity prayer and seeing this little change in myself as a small victory.

I liked how this came around to you being focused on you.

denny57

It's a huge victory - I hope you feel good about yourself.

greeteachday

Sounds like a big Ahhh Haaa moment (I love them ) Engaging doesn't change a thing; focusing on you and your own journey is so much more healthy. Yes, without a doubt this is progress. Hugs

Barbara52

Good job in not engaging in the madness. {hugs}

Chrysalis123

But what I realized just now is that I am not going to do that. I know he lied, he knows he lied, he wouldn't admit it even if I came to him evidence. It's not going to make him want recovery. It's only going to make my last few days in this house with him even more miserable. So what is the point?

Good for you! You just gave me hope and strength because I keep engaging with the lies. You are so right, what is the point? Why do this to yourself yet again. I hope you find some extra joy today. You go girl!

Daisy30

definately progress!! That is great!