It's my first day...AAAAaaaaggghhhhh!
I'm gettin' there
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Easthampton, MA
Posts: 30
It's my first day...AAAAaaaaggghhhhh!
Sorry, stress release.
My haunt is cocaine. My demon, my lover, my dance partner, my assassin, my...addiction. This is my first post and first day here and I am looking forward to being a part of this community. I have made the decision that I cannot go on "partying". In all honesty the party ended years ago, but the coke wont leave. I'll get into it in other threads(looking forward to ranting). Short version: I've been drunk or high for 17 years. I, in that time, have never gone more than 5 days without something, and there's usually no days off. I have been doing coke for 8 years now and am 100% addicted. I went 4 days in the past week and then went out to celebrate getting a new car last night and didn't even think twice...it's no longer even about a decision, it's part of my night. I need out, I need help, I need support, I need to know that it's possible, I need some peers in this...I am happy I found this forum.
Look forward to meeting you all.
My haunt is cocaine. My demon, my lover, my dance partner, my assassin, my...addiction. This is my first post and first day here and I am looking forward to being a part of this community. I have made the decision that I cannot go on "partying". In all honesty the party ended years ago, but the coke wont leave. I'll get into it in other threads(looking forward to ranting). Short version: I've been drunk or high for 17 years. I, in that time, have never gone more than 5 days without something, and there's usually no days off. I have been doing coke for 8 years now and am 100% addicted. I went 4 days in the past week and then went out to celebrate getting a new car last night and didn't even think twice...it's no longer even about a decision, it's part of my night. I need out, I need help, I need support, I need to know that it's possible, I need some peers in this...I am happy I found this forum.
Look forward to meeting you all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 533
hello 
I am new also. I can sympathize with you somewhat. I have been doing opiates for 7 years now, on and off, relapsing on and off. If that makes sense. I am the same way with always having to do "something" whether is drinking cough medicine or whatever. So I have been high for 7 years as well.
Have you thought about doing inpatient rehab? Please be careful and take care of yourself.
I am new also. I can sympathize with you somewhat. I have been doing opiates for 7 years now, on and off, relapsing on and off. If that makes sense. I am the same way with always having to do "something" whether is drinking cough medicine or whatever. So I have been high for 7 years as well.
Have you thought about doing inpatient rehab? Please be careful and take care of yourself.
I'm gettin' there
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Easthampton, MA
Posts: 30
I have thought about inpatient rehab, but not sure if I am a candidate(though 17yrs high may qualify me). I am just now trying to allow myself help any at all, in any form. I think I will start with one on one counseling. But I really don't know what to expect in the detox period.
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
itssnowingout;
Welcome, my bad is the booze.......without recovery, in the past, when I quit booze, I smoked pot many times a day, without the pot, I would pop pills all day, it has always been something. I can't give you any advice on how to treat your affliction because I am only 2 weeks clean. But I do want to say welcome and please stick around. You'll find good support here.
Hang in there, keep trying to stay clean. As long as you're trying, you'll be getting closer to recovering.
Hugs,
Tay.
Welcome, my bad is the booze.......without recovery, in the past, when I quit booze, I smoked pot many times a day, without the pot, I would pop pills all day, it has always been something. I can't give you any advice on how to treat your affliction because I am only 2 weeks clean. But I do want to say welcome and please stick around. You'll find good support here.
Hang in there, keep trying to stay clean. As long as you're trying, you'll be getting closer to recovering.
Hugs,
Tay.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Hi glad you are here.
You sound just like me. Cocaine became just a part of everyday life for me as well. Not even a little thought that it wasnt normal to do it everyday all day.
anything good that happened..Needed to get high and celebrate. Anything bad that happened...Needed to get high to calm down and deal with it.
It's crazy. And as with you..The party also stopped with me a very long time ago.
In my own opinion. I didnt benefit out of one on one because there was no experienced feed back reponses. I found when I finally went to groups, meetings, and treatment. Having others just like me give me their insight and advice helped way more.
But that is just me.
I hope you stick around and do find help.
You sound just like me. Cocaine became just a part of everyday life for me as well. Not even a little thought that it wasnt normal to do it everyday all day.
anything good that happened..Needed to get high and celebrate. Anything bad that happened...Needed to get high to calm down and deal with it.
It's crazy. And as with you..The party also stopped with me a very long time ago.
In my own opinion. I didnt benefit out of one on one because there was no experienced feed back reponses. I found when I finally went to groups, meetings, and treatment. Having others just like me give me their insight and advice helped way more.
But that is just me.
I hope you stick around and do find help.
I'm gettin' there
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Easthampton, MA
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by reed 
welcome to SR. I hope the blizzard is over sooner than later.
2nd-I tried to register with like 10 different "names", and they were all already in use(looking forward to meeting-imtired, iwantout, icantstop, imdone...they sound like nice folks...ha ha). I then looked out the window and it really is snowing out. The name is just a marriage of apathy and irony. Sure does fit though.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 149
Hi, post here often and read the posts. I used to do blow for over 10 years, 2 to 3 times per week. Even once a week kicked my ass.
I eventually went to booze. You probably think "how can I live without it" - Right?
You can do it. Find what works for you. I am learning that it is all about our level of commitment.
Hope you get better and better.
I eventually went to booze. You probably think "how can I live without it" - Right?
You can do it. Find what works for you. I am learning that it is all about our level of commitment.
Hope you get better and better.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 533
Originally Posted by itssnowingout
I have thought about inpatient rehab, but not sure if I am a candidate(though 17yrs high may qualify me). I am just now trying to allow myself help any at all, in any form. I think I will start with one on one counseling. But I really don't know what to expect in the detox period.
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