AskingWhy

Man, I know in my head and my heart that I need to cut ties and just run the hell away as fast as I can from this relationship with AW. I've been conciously, and sub conciously, making plans and working towards it. But now, I'm getting impatient. I want out now...but things are not quite ready yet for me to make the move. But I'm so damn close I can taste it! I get excited thinking about opening a new chapter in my life and starting all over from scatch...but yet I also get scared and worried about how AW will react and what kind of crap she may put me through with a long, drawn out divorce....

I'm really caught in that no man's land...one foot in the door, one foot outside the door...I sound like a big wuss...I want it, but I'm so scared of it.

SerenitySeaker

I'm going to be watching this thread as I am in a similar situation. Though I think I might be closer to actually getting out. It is scary but can the unknown really be any worse than what I am living with now?

Prayer & Positive thoughts to you. I just keep telling myself there is a reason for all this even if right now I don't know what that reason is.

Barbara52

It is very hard waiting for the time to leave to come. I remember that period well. You know you are leaving but you can't do it until X days go by or Y things happen. But the time does goes by and the rewards are great. I found a lot of prayer and a lot of conscious relaxation exercises helped me get thru thos waiting days.

NYC_Chick

I did not live with my recent xabf, but the getting out was just as hard. Mostly because of the mind games. You want to believe this time will be different, but realize after all the lying nothing will change unless he puts both feet in recovery instead of just his toes with weekly therapy sessions. It's been a rough 5 days since I stopped contact with him and the only thing that is keeping me sane is this board and meetings, but it's still better than wondering when he's going to drink or if he's going to emotionally abuse me because he's dry but not working a program.

Good luck! My mother left my alcoholic father with the 3 of us kids and has thanked her HP every day since. She says even her worst day out was better than her best day in with an "intact" family.

Mr. Christian

I remember well the feelings you have now.
It took her to cut and run before I had to see things as they really are. After four years she is still out they’re getting into trouble. DUI’s, totaling cars, bill collectors, repo’s, you name it.

But I on the other hand live a pretty much drama free life.

I pay my bills, have new friends and a good job.
Yes the whole divorce thing can get rough, but it will pass.

You will find later on down the line that it was a small price to pay for your serenity.

hadenoughnow

I know how you feel, only one week till the STBX AH moves out. I filed almost 6 weeks ago and waiting for him to get out has been a drama filled nightmare. Freedom is so close I can almost taste it!

And yes everything I have gone through to get him out was worth it.

nowinsituation

For me, the process of deciding whether I should stay or go was the worst part. There was the decision, then reconsidering, then deciding, then waffling, then deciding again. Sounds like the decision is made, and now you are waiting to carry it out. I don't know what steps you have taken -- like finding a place to live, etc. Just take the logistic steps one at a time and they will fall in order. I can affirm what everyone else has said, life is WAY better on the other side. Well worth the trip!! Good luck!

Mair

It will be worth it, you have the rest of your life to live as you want to. And it's good!!! good luck

mair x