MATANE

My AH has recently started going to AA meetings. He asked me to go to one with him tonight. I dont feel comfortable doing so. Am I being non-supportive?

Growing

I don't know. When I was ready I went to open aa meetings with my mom who is a recovering alcoholic. I actually enjoyed them...got ALOT out of the meeting. It may be as simple as fear of the unknown...but I don't know. I think you would be surprized at how much YOU might enjoy it....just my thoughts.

You "not feeling comfortable doing so" sounds like something worthy of exploring yourself. That line stuck out to me....just my thoughts...

The point is that he goes to his meetings and works his program...whether or not you come and "support" him.

Do you go to alanon?

ICU

When my ex and I were still together, he asked that I join him at his AA meetings. I have to tell you, I got more out of those then I did Alanon meetings (for different reasons that I won't get into right now).

At AA meetings is where I first learned that his drinking 'was not' my fault. That was major for me. I saw what true recovery looked like, and what it 'didn't look like'.

However, in hindsight, I should have stopped after the first or second AA meeting with him. If I wanted to go to more, I should have gone to separate meetings (meetings that he didn't attend). Apparently, even though he asked me to go with him, and continue going with him, he developed resentments about me being there...he felt he couldn't open up with me there. Understandable. Unfortunately, he told me this when he was drunk, and in a 'not so very nice' way!

ANGELINA243

Why not attend an "open" Speaker meeting with him sometime? That is where one person shares their story--usually from childhood to where they are at today. They tell what happened in their addiction, why they needed to change, how their life is better today because of working the 12 steps of AA. Maybe that would be easier for a first time meeting as opposed to a regular open meeting where each person gets to share a little bit about themself. Just a thought! God bless!

LaTeeDa

I don't think you should go anywhere you don't want to just to be "supportive." If you do go, do it because you want to, not because you feel guilty if you don't.

L

Daisy30

Can I ask why you don't want to go?

darkness_falls

Has he told you why he wants you to go with him? Is it because he wants your support or because he wants to "prove" that he's doing something about his addiction. I've never been but knowing my AH, he'd probably want me to go because he was scared OR because he wanted me to see how "hard" this was for him.

hope2bhappy

I've been to some open meetings with my AH and really enjoyed them. When he invites me now, I usually decline because I have other things I'd rather be doing. He accepts this.

In the beginning, (and even though I enjoyed it) I guess I mainly went to support him in his sobriety. But I support him differently now -- by just letting him work his recovery. He doesn't need me for that.