beckybeagle

Hi, SR families-

I ran into this site searching the net about Kudzu for alcohol addiction. I am new here and also new to recovery. I read couple postings and love it already. People are so honest about their past, present, mistakes and who they are. Thank all of you for sharing your your life.

My problem is that I don't consider myself as an addict, even though I start to drink first thing in the morning and drink absurd amount of alcohol, beer, wine, sake, cler rum and vodka, except dark colored booze like rum, wishkey and burbon, stuff like that.

The reason is that I am still functioning fine, I would time to stop drinking before I drive, get straight A's from my classes. (I just went back to school last year) I am from a culture where "let's have a dinner" invloves heavy drinking. I have been drinking since college straight. It has never been an issue till I started to mix my pain med (Morphine) for the back injury and secondary illness (I take several more pills for them) during the military service. Morphine stopped working after year or so then I realized if I drink along with meds, my pain went away. That's how it started. Now I am worried I will be an "addict" soon and lose control of my life eventually.
However, I don't think I am THAT serious yet. I decided to cure it on my own.
I just got Kudzu and Milk thistle supplements today.

I am not sure AA meetings would help me. I am not scared going to the meetings but what is the point of telling about why I drink in front of a group of people. - Sorry for my ignorance, that is the impression what I get from movies. Mainly, I drink to reduce pain and to beat the boredom staying home all day. (School gives me some level of "way out" these days.)

Please advise. I need to hear others' opinion to guide myself and make a well-informed decision.

Jfanagle

If you think you have a problem, which I have to assume may have crossed your mind since you have taken the time to post on this website, then that simply leaves "what to do about it."

I would suggest that you may want to attend an AA meeting or two and then you will have first hand knowledge in lieu of antidotal information gleaned from "movies." This is just my suggestion and by no means precludes your "curing it on your own." Kudzu and Milk thistle supplements are not something with which I have had any experience. To my knowledge that particular remedy doesn't enjoy a very large following of "cured" alcoholics.

There are multiple paths of treatment that propose to help an alcoholic get and stay sober. I have intimate working knowledge with AA and can only say that it has kept me sober for the past 8+ years. In fact I sat in a "shuttered" AA meeting (a meeting where it requires an invitation due to the notoriety of some of the participants) and the average sober time in this meeting was 19 years. There were 15 persons present.

That is my AA presentation to you. You may want to see AA for yourself as I said. We are all aware that the "movies" may not always show us REAL life. Regardless of what you decide I sincerely wish you well.

Jon

1963comet

In AA you do not need to tell people why you drink. If you want to stop is a good enough reason to be there.

Anyway hope to see you here.

And welcome to SR

GreenTea

Personally, I think you're a ticking time bomb...

You say you drink as soon as you awaken, that you drink absurd amounts, that you intentionally mix alcohol with medications such as morphine for the synergistic effects, and that you drink to relieve pain. To me, that simply sounds nuts.

I'm not aware of any "cure" for alcoholism. I am aware of effective treatment for it. It starts with complete abstinence, and I learned how to do that in AA.

I'm not saying you are an alcoholic -- it isn't for me to "decide".

I too drank to relieve pain, until it stopped working and then I drank because I couldn't stop... I too used to be a highly functional drunk, until I wasn't anymore... I too used to stop drinking early enough so that I could safely drive (or so I thought) until I didn't anymore.... Being in the middle of it while it was happening, I didn't see the progression while it was occuring.

What happens if you simply stop, right here, right now and go completely dry? (I don't mean for just a day or two) At the use levels you describe, I would expect some pretty noticeable effects. Have you discussed the situation with your doctor?

Regarding AA meetings, I wouldn't pay too much attention to what you see in the movies. Its kind of like watching Indiana Jones to find out what being an archaeologist is like. The reality is very different and its something that has to be experienced.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

If you are not sure if you are an alcoholic, then stop drinking for a fixed period - say 3 months - and see what happens. That should give you your answer. If you're not an alcoholic, you won't have any trouble stopping. I think that a lot of people start drinking in order to self-medicate. I did that too. My depression and insomnia were overwhelming me and I thought a couple of drinks at bedtime would help. It actually did help briefly, but before I knew what happened, I couldn't not drink.

I am not an AA person, either, but it does work well for lots of people. I use SR as my lifeline and work on recovery every day.

ANGELINA243

AA meetings certainly won't hurt anything. If you think you may have a problem with alcohol--which you have admitted already--you are welcome to attend. Only you can decide whether you are an alcoholic--no one else has the right to decide for you. Also, you are not required to share anything about yourself at meetings. You may share your name and "pass" when it is your turn if you'd rather not talk. There are times when I just need to listen to others share during a meeting. That is okay. There are also Speaker meeting where only one person talks for the entire time--so you wouldn't have to worry about others looking at you & asking you if you would like to share. If you have already recognized the problem>hopefully in the early stages--maybe you can do it on your own--I don't know how far advanced you are into the alcohol/meds, but I know for me (personally)--I was not able to do it on my own--I tried numerous times and "utterly failed" to quit on my own. I needed the program and support from others to carry me through when I didn't have the strength to do it all by myself. :ghug

tanyapmc

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. And we don't even check that. Good luck and please keep posting.

Negative Man

Becky, it's a very good thing that you're taking steps like coming to this board, looking into AA, taking those supplements, and simply taking a look at yourself in the mirror and figuring out where you want to go from here. That last thing is what all of on the board do every day. Welcome, and we're glad you're here.

You'll never get any judgment from me. My "take" is that anyone who is drinking consistently first thing in the morning is in some trouble. That's generally a sign of being addicted. In fact, honestly, it IS a sign of being addicted.

My advice: people will quit only when they're ready to. You'll know when that time is right, whether it's while you're reading this post, a few days from now or even years from now. In the meantime, just keep coming back to this board. Keep reading, keep posting. You've got friends here.

I can tell you that I visited here for 2-3 weeks before I decided to quit. I'm on day 34 today. I feel a lot better about myself.

I've done it w/o AA, so it's possible. Though the deeper I get into recovery, the more I'm looking around for other means of support. AA is definitely something I'm considering.

Let us know if you have any questions. I hope you're well.

-- NM

CarolD

Hello Again!

I am so pleased you came to us and are seeking answers.

As you are taking med's + drinking alcohol
and because of the ammount you drink

I strongly suggest you talk with your doctor
before abruptly quitting

Then you can stay safe while you stop.
De toxing from alcohol safely is a medical issue.

Do keep posting...

barb dwyer

AA is convenient, it's free, and it's stuffed full of other people who know the disease of alcoholism from the INSIDE out. There's no contract, no requirement other than the desire to stop drinking ...

I don't really see a down side to it.

ps. not putting it down, but as a born in the bone person from Georgia - if Kudzu were any kind of cure for alcoholism - Georgia would be a dry state. And there's BE no kudzu there.

Jersey Nonny

After reading your post, I read all of the comments...all great, and can't think of anything to add to what has already been said. BTW...I am an advocate of AA, which has helped me to "stay stopped" for the past 28 years.

Quote:

I realized if I drink along with meds, my pain went away. That's how it started. Now I am worried I will be an "addict" soon and lose control of my life eventually.

If you keep on the way you're going, your very life may go away, along with the pain! You won't have to worry about losing control of your life...there won't be any life to lose control of. Am I trying to scare you? You bet!

Please get to a doctor, be honest about your drug and alcohol abuse, quit the meds and booze under some type of supervision, get to AA meetings, and learn to enjoy life!

beckybeagle

You guys are really awesome. Yes, I have a problem. I was living in denial. I knew it subconsciously, which probably why I am here. I might not be able to quit on my own. I decided to seek help. I am checking out all the options available for me. My issue was brought up by my doctor at VA. She even stopped giving me my pain med, which is understandable. She wants me to stop all at once completely. VA offers detox - in patient basis as long as it takes, don't know how they decide the length of stay and a program that I have to sit down from 9:00 till 2:30pm in the afternoon. It is extremely hard for me to stay since I am not able to maintain one position for more than 30 min. max. at a time. It also interferes with my school schedule. I have a morning class M, W, and F for an hour. So I am checking out Tricare program
which seems a lot more flexible.

Now I am determinded to attend AA meeting thanks to you all.
Hopefully, one day I can offer same love and kindness to others in need of help.

Thank you so much again. I will see you all around.

SF69

That's good to hear that you're taking these steps Becky.

And regarding AA meeting, they really aren't like what you see on TV or in movies (I worried about that too before going to one), they're much, much better. It's like a 'fun' social event for many, not some dark, smoke-filled room filled with people moping around.

I also found out I probably get more out of the meetings by just listening to others as I do talking myself.

Jersey Nonny

Quote:

Now I am determinded to attend AA meeting thanks to you all.
Hopefully, one day I can offer same love and kindness to others in need of help.

Thank you so much again. I will see you all around.

Good, life-saving decision, Becky! The idea of "giving back" is what AA is all about..."Whenever anyone, anywhere asks for help, I want the hand of AA always to be there."

My 51 year-old son just celebrated a year clean and sober on February 5, the day he entered rehab in the VA medical center in Lyons, New Jersey. He's been living there ever since, and is now working...also very active in both AA and NA. I can't tell you how happy and proud I am for him!