scared sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: kenner, la
Posts: 25
scared sober
:prayingHi y'all!
got scared into sobriety 3 weeks ago today and had a tough time of it since. i have had panic attacks, have taken a leave from work because I not capable of making life and death decisions at this time. I hate myself for putting myself and my family through this when they have done nothing to deserve this. I want to stay sober for them. I even quit smoking 10 days ago. I don't really know which withdrawal I was feeling but let me tell you I was feeling like I was dying. I couldn't escape the pain and loss of the two substances that propped me up each day. I considered myself strong. Able to stand on my own two feet until last week when I couldn't leave the house and crumbled to the floor in tears and pain. So far I am too afraid to expose myself to an AA meeting but I know I cant avoid it. I am too embarrassed or ashamed. I afraid I see someone I know and then my secret is really out. I came here in the hope of listening and telling my story to you all until I get the courage to go to an AA meeting.
got scared into sobriety 3 weeks ago today and had a tough time of it since. i have had panic attacks, have taken a leave from work because I not capable of making life and death decisions at this time. I hate myself for putting myself and my family through this when they have done nothing to deserve this. I want to stay sober for them. I even quit smoking 10 days ago. I don't really know which withdrawal I was feeling but let me tell you I was feeling like I was dying. I couldn't escape the pain and loss of the two substances that propped me up each day. I considered myself strong. Able to stand on my own two feet until last week when I couldn't leave the house and crumbled to the floor in tears and pain. So far I am too afraid to expose myself to an AA meeting but I know I cant avoid it. I am too embarrassed or ashamed. I afraid I see someone I know and then my secret is really out. I came here in the hope of listening and telling my story to you all until I get the courage to go to an AA meeting.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!
3 weeks is a good beginnning Congratulations!
Have you considered on line recovery meetings?
Several programs offer them and you might find them interesting.
Glad you found us....do keep posting .you are not alone.
3 weeks is a good beginnning Congratulations!
Have you considered on line recovery meetings?
Several programs offer them and you might find them interesting.
Glad you found us....do keep posting .you are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
Want to say Hi and welcome.
I'm sure you will get good advice here. It never really bothered me to go to an AA meeting. But I know some people have had a hard time with it. It is just people going through the same thing. I mean you did not ask to be this way. Some take it as a personal problem. Hope I said it the right way.
Anyway I hope to see you here. Ask all the questions you want.
I'm sure you will get good advice here. It never really bothered me to go to an AA meeting. But I know some people have had a hard time with it. It is just people going through the same thing. I mean you did not ask to be this way. Some take it as a personal problem. Hope I said it the right way.
Anyway I hope to see you here. Ask all the questions you want.
member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 20
I quit evrything the same day. Drugs, alcohol and smoking. The withdrawls from alcohol kept from even thinking about a cigarette. Then after about 2-3 weeks I lost my job and I started smoking again (better than drinking) now I am trying to stop again. I can't say how much things changed in the since of smell and taste after a couple of weeks.
AA was and sometimes still is intimidating for me. Don't worry too much about what you think people want you to say, just listen to what they are saying. As bad I feel sometimes when I go to a meeting I always feel better when I leave than when I walked in. Don't be embarassed the people you will meet in meetings have more than likely done what you have. Also checking out other programs may help.
Congrats on 3 weeks...
AA was and sometimes still is intimidating for me. Don't worry too much about what you think people want you to say, just listen to what they are saying. As bad I feel sometimes when I go to a meeting I always feel better when I leave than when I walked in. Don't be embarassed the people you will meet in meetings have more than likely done what you have. Also checking out other programs may help.
Congrats on 3 weeks...
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
Welcome Mad... You are not alone!
You are also not insane. You've simply gotten caught up in something that has been trying to kill you is all. And it has left its damage on you and within you.
I can understand having anxiety about actually attending an AA meeting. There's that perceived stigma about it, as if it somehow makes you less of a person or something.
That's nonsense. Its also your disease talking. It doesn't want you to get better, and it will try as hard as it can to prevent you from seeking help. There's a reason why we call it "cunning, baffling, and powerful".
I remember how terrified I was the first time I went to an AA meeting. I had no idea what to expect. Were they all going to light some candles and put on masks? Would there be any chalk drawings etched on the floor? Would there be some weird kind rituals or chants? I'm joking, of course!
But I was terrified. More than anything, I think, what terrified me was the following... If I actually went to an AA meeting, then it meant that I had finally, fully admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic... People don't start going to AA meetings because they're curious -- they go because they're sick and hurting and need help.
Once I got there, I came very close to turning right around and leaving... But then someone introduced themself and asked if I was there for AA. I said yes. He then told me that the meeting was about to start and asked if I would like to go inside with him. I accepted and we did.
About 15 minutes or so into the meeting, I started to feel at home. I felt like I was in the right place and I was glad that I had come. When I first heard the Promises, especially the part about "...those feelings of useless and self-pity will disappear...", I thought to myself, "How did they know?"
Would you feel ashamed about going to a hopsital if you were injured? ... Of course not! ... So why should you feel ashamed about seeking the right help for anything else you may be facing?
You say that you're afraid of running into someone you know because then your "secret will be out". Well, consider the following...
We protect anonymity. Anyone you meet there will be in recovery themself, and they will understand. No one will "out" you.
Here's another thought... Chances are that those around you already know you have a problem. Something we as practicing alcoholics just don't seem to realize is how obvious our problem is to others. The shame lies in not seeking help in dealing with it.
You are not alone, Mad... No where is that more true than at an AA meeting.
Welcome to SR!
You are also not insane. You've simply gotten caught up in something that has been trying to kill you is all. And it has left its damage on you and within you.
I can understand having anxiety about actually attending an AA meeting. There's that perceived stigma about it, as if it somehow makes you less of a person or something.
That's nonsense. Its also your disease talking. It doesn't want you to get better, and it will try as hard as it can to prevent you from seeking help. There's a reason why we call it "cunning, baffling, and powerful".
I remember how terrified I was the first time I went to an AA meeting. I had no idea what to expect. Were they all going to light some candles and put on masks? Would there be any chalk drawings etched on the floor? Would there be some weird kind rituals or chants? I'm joking, of course!
But I was terrified. More than anything, I think, what terrified me was the following... If I actually went to an AA meeting, then it meant that I had finally, fully admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic... People don't start going to AA meetings because they're curious -- they go because they're sick and hurting and need help.
Once I got there, I came very close to turning right around and leaving... But then someone introduced themself and asked if I was there for AA. I said yes. He then told me that the meeting was about to start and asked if I would like to go inside with him. I accepted and we did.
About 15 minutes or so into the meeting, I started to feel at home. I felt like I was in the right place and I was glad that I had come. When I first heard the Promises, especially the part about "...those feelings of useless and self-pity will disappear...", I thought to myself, "How did they know?"
Would you feel ashamed about going to a hopsital if you were injured? ... Of course not! ... So why should you feel ashamed about seeking the right help for anything else you may be facing?
You say that you're afraid of running into someone you know because then your "secret will be out". Well, consider the following...
We protect anonymity. Anyone you meet there will be in recovery themself, and they will understand. No one will "out" you.
Here's another thought... Chances are that those around you already know you have a problem. Something we as practicing alcoholics just don't seem to realize is how obvious our problem is to others. The shame lies in not seeking help in dealing with it.
You are not alone, Mad... No where is that more true than at an AA meeting.
Welcome to SR!
Agnostic with faith
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 94
Hi,
"I want to stay sober for them". You have to realize that beeing sober is something you do for yourself. Sounds selfish? It isn't. You'll always be there for you. Will the others? What then? Who have you been battling this desease for?
Do it for yourself. Right now, you're the most important person in your life.
"I want to stay sober for them". You have to realize that beeing sober is something you do for yourself. Sounds selfish? It isn't. You'll always be there for you. Will the others? What then? Who have you been battling this desease for?
Do it for yourself. Right now, you're the most important person in your life.
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