Counseling
Progress Not Perfection
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: "Further up and further in!"---C.S. Lewis
Posts: 563
Counseling
I realized that I needed to start a new thread about counseling.
I am trying to educate myself on the topic and I found a website that I liked and wanted to share.
For any of you going through what I am going through with seeking counseling:
How to find a good therapist
An excerpt from the above site:
How to Choose a Competent Counselor
“How can I find a good counselor or psychotherapist?”
“How do I know if my counselor is competent?”
“What is supposed to happen in therapy?”
“Can a therapist be incompetent without me realizing it?”
“Is a psychologist the best therapist? Does a license make a difference?”
If you have asked yourself any of these questions, this article is for you. It is a consumer’s guide for anyone who is considering professional counseling and wants to know how to go about it. I hope to show you how to choose a professional counselor who is likely to be able to help you, and how to avoid those who are not.
Why is this article different? Because I am not working for a therapist; I am working for you. I am not biased toward any particular profession and no one is paying me to write this article. I have no agenda other than your well-being.
You see, “Find-A-Therapist” articles are usually marketing tools. They are often written by professional associations, who want you to find a member of their association; or by therapists who are advertising their services. Both are biased. Some are written by consumers in a well-meaning but ultimately fruitless attempt to decipher the confusing array of academic degrees, licenses and certifications of therapists. (Why fruitless? Keep reading.)
But since a degree, and even a license, may not guarantee the effectiveness of a counselor, this article will show you how to evaluate the true competence and effectiveness of a therapist or counselor based on very simple evidence YOU can gather with your own eyes and ears.
No one, including me, has a monopoly on good advice, and I encourage you to consider several opinions in addition to mine (I will refer you to some others at the end of this article); but I hope you will find this information helpful.
I am trying to educate myself on the topic and I found a website that I liked and wanted to share.
For any of you going through what I am going through with seeking counseling:
How to find a good therapist
An excerpt from the above site:
How to Choose a Competent Counselor
“How can I find a good counselor or psychotherapist?”
“How do I know if my counselor is competent?”
“What is supposed to happen in therapy?”
“Can a therapist be incompetent without me realizing it?”
“Is a psychologist the best therapist? Does a license make a difference?”
If you have asked yourself any of these questions, this article is for you. It is a consumer’s guide for anyone who is considering professional counseling and wants to know how to go about it. I hope to show you how to choose a professional counselor who is likely to be able to help you, and how to avoid those who are not.
Why is this article different? Because I am not working for a therapist; I am working for you. I am not biased toward any particular profession and no one is paying me to write this article. I have no agenda other than your well-being.
You see, “Find-A-Therapist” articles are usually marketing tools. They are often written by professional associations, who want you to find a member of their association; or by therapists who are advertising their services. Both are biased. Some are written by consumers in a well-meaning but ultimately fruitless attempt to decipher the confusing array of academic degrees, licenses and certifications of therapists. (Why fruitless? Keep reading.)
But since a degree, and even a license, may not guarantee the effectiveness of a counselor, this article will show you how to evaluate the true competence and effectiveness of a therapist or counselor based on very simple evidence YOU can gather with your own eyes and ears.
No one, including me, has a monopoly on good advice, and I encourage you to consider several opinions in addition to mine (I will refer you to some others at the end of this article); but I hope you will find this information helpful.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hi Growing,
I really lucked into my counselor, and so I have no advice on choosing that you haven't already found. He was a therapist who specialized in relationships and grief...right up my alley. And I knew after the first two meetings that he was right, far righter than any others I'd ever met. I think you can know after the very first session whether they're a good fit or not, if you listen to your feelings.
They will ask you to delve into some difficult areas. That's going to feel icky. But you should never, ever, ever feel like they don't like you, or like they're just these cold listeners scratching on the notepad. You have to learn to feel the difference between the discomfort of the PROCESS of exposing old wounds, and the discomfort of the PERSON - of being with someone who really doesn't get you as a person.
My counselor helped me with lots of questions, lots of resources (he referred me to my first ACoA meetings and books), a few revealing questionnaires, and input, a bunch of input, always beginning with, "What would it feel like if you....."
But a life coach can be a wonderful experience too -- I worked with one of those too for a while, and really really loved the process and the action (thinking is nice, but I'm a do-er). Life coaches are generally very "here are some tools I recommend for your situation, here's what I want you to try doing differently this week, and I'll want to know how it worked the next time we talk...." hands-on kinds of people.
Depending on what you're hoping to change about your life, you might choose either....or both. I am deeply indebted to these kinds of people for how much progress I've made away from my dysfunctional past.
Love your article too!
GL
I really lucked into my counselor, and so I have no advice on choosing that you haven't already found. He was a therapist who specialized in relationships and grief...right up my alley. And I knew after the first two meetings that he was right, far righter than any others I'd ever met. I think you can know after the very first session whether they're a good fit or not, if you listen to your feelings.
They will ask you to delve into some difficult areas. That's going to feel icky. But you should never, ever, ever feel like they don't like you, or like they're just these cold listeners scratching on the notepad. You have to learn to feel the difference between the discomfort of the PROCESS of exposing old wounds, and the discomfort of the PERSON - of being with someone who really doesn't get you as a person.
My counselor helped me with lots of questions, lots of resources (he referred me to my first ACoA meetings and books), a few revealing questionnaires, and input, a bunch of input, always beginning with, "What would it feel like if you....."
But a life coach can be a wonderful experience too -- I worked with one of those too for a while, and really really loved the process and the action (thinking is nice, but I'm a do-er). Life coaches are generally very "here are some tools I recommend for your situation, here's what I want you to try doing differently this week, and I'll want to know how it worked the next time we talk...." hands-on kinds of people.
Depending on what you're hoping to change about your life, you might choose either....or both. I am deeply indebted to these kinds of people for how much progress I've made away from my dysfunctional past.
Love your article too!
GL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Second star to the right....
Posts: 845
this is my experience and what worked for me....ive found a range of counselling helpful in my journey from school counsellors, cognitive beahvioural therapists dealing in psychotherapy. one which i saw for years, and now my therapy consists of rebirthing which is not counselling as such...for me, my needs have changed over the years with my recovery and what i needed in the way of counselling or therapy have also changed. talking about things has def been key part of healing but the biggest counsellor for me has been my higher power whos always there, always cares and i can wail and cry quite comfortably in his supportive presence.
ive found friendships esp sponsorship in my 12 step program which for me is alanon a HUGE assistance, all the more cos theyd been where id been. good luck. x
ive found friendships esp sponsorship in my 12 step program which for me is alanon a HUGE assistance, all the more cos theyd been where id been. good luck. x
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