Zak68

Well, I just got back from my first Alanon meeting. Not sure when I will make another one but this one got off on the right foot.

It's odd, I talk about my struggles with friends and shared on this forum and I never really lost it. Today though I broke down, tears of grief were flowing as I shared my story, albeit a condensed version, with those in the room.

It felt good to share with strangers face to face and they were very open and accepting and it made it all that easier. They did suggest a few other meetings that have men in them (it was me and 9 women) so I might check out one of those meetings.

Anyway, it really felt good to cleanse my soul and hear my struggles are those that everyone else has had or is going through. I needed this today as this weekend was a struggle with my AW and I felt I was on my last straw sanity wise.

Take care all.

simbala

Thank you for posting your experience. I have been thinking this is what I need to do but feel too chicken to go. I know this sounds arrogant, but I have a bad stereotype of the the type of people I might find there. No one in my circle would know that we have this "secret." We live well materially, are involved in the community, my husband (the addict) is even a pillar at our church. He is very successful in his company etc. But reading your post makes me realize we are all human and I need to put aside my fear and "pride" and do the right thing. Thx for sharing. And, I'm sorry to anyone that I might have held this stupid prejudice against- clearly, from reading here, none of you match my low idea of what an addict & family are really like. You all seem very educated, and frankly, "normal."

Shivaya

Hi Zak68,

Congratulations on your 1st Alanon mtg. I too just went to my 1st one last week. It is interesting how our emotions can come out like that in a group of strangers (albeit strangers that can relate to our stories).

This is quite a journey we are on, it is so overwhelming and mentally exhausting.

No words of wisdom from me, except that I can relate to your story.

Shivaya

Zak68

Simbala I too had many reservations about attending. Mine basically stemmed from my viewing it as a faith based organization. I am not a man of faith by any means and while I respect it in others I often form barriers where faith is used to heal where I feel my own common sense can solve my problems.

I decided to go as I realized I need help and I didn't care if the people helping me were 3 toed tree sloths if they could help me see and recognize my pain and learn to heal from it I would welcome their help. =)

I also thought back to what my AW told me after she attended a few AA meetings she said she felt nobody could relate to her problems, none of them shared her stuggles and she shut her mind to the help they could have offered. I realized I wouldn't be any better than her if I didn't keep an open mind and listen with my heart and ears to what they had to say.

Good luck in your struggles. I find the people here are amazing and loving, caring people who want everyone to heal and help point us in the right direction.

gns

i am so glad you found the meeting helpful and therapeutic! It sounds like you are moving forward and healing - good for you!

Mair

Well done Zak, your heading in the right direction, things will become clearer to you now.

Mair xx

Growing

I want to thank you for sharing your experience with your first meeting!



Way to go overcoming all of those doubts! This shows your getting so much stronger!

denny57

Thank you for sharing. There is something very powerful about face to face meetings.

Summerteeth

Sim, my family is in a similar situation - financially well-off and "pillars of the community". I had some of the same apprehensions as you do about attending an Al-Anon meeting. When I got there, I realized half of the people there were in the SAME boat as me! Did I think I was the only person that would be there from a more upper-crust family? Yes I did! Then I realized -addiction doesn't discriminate.

I was so refreshed by the honesty and lack of judgement that existed in the wonderful people in the meetings. I was also nervous about the Higher Power aspect, as I am not exactly a believer in God. The meetings have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Just thought you might like some feedback from someone who has been there.

Best of luck to you!!!

Rella927

Zak this is a big step! I felt the same going to my first meeting close to 2 years ago-the first few meetings my mind was shut-I stopped going and then when I returned, I did with an open mind and heart and wow how amazing to see how many struggled with the same thoughts and feelings as I did all these years!

Glad that you will be going back-

Growing

Yes..alanon's come from all demographics.

Daisy30

thanks for sharing I am planning my first meeting for tomorrow!

darkness_falls

This is exactly how I feel. I resigned myself when I first joined this forum that I would go to a meeting, then I got sick for a while and couldn't go. I'm scared to go too because of the exact reasons you describe here. I do have a very good friend that I've finally told my "secret" to as well as my family which is like a heavy weight being lifted off my shoulders. I know I shouldn't have hid it. I know that now. I know I didn't cause it and that alcoholism does not care if you're black/white, rich/poor, attractive/unattractive, success/not, educated/not educated. It doesn't matter. It tears families apart no matter what.

For me, I know I'm not ready yet. My emotions are all over the place but I did just read Codependent No More and that has been a tremendous help for me. I've got more books on the way and that's what I'm doing for now until I can bring myself to go or to get a therapist to help ME.

DMPA

I went to a meeting about a year ago...and left before it even "started". There were only about 5 or 6 people there and I didn't feel welcomed at all. Emotionally, I'm in a much better place now but still can't seem to make myself go. The "biggest" thing that worries me is my boyfriend's mother. She attends some meetings in our small town and has made it clear to my boyfriend that she will never accept our relationship or me. I understand and can accept that but it doesn't make me feel any more comfortable about going to a meeting.