littlebird77

My, well I don't know what you call him today was on heroin for a long time... He went to a rehab and has been clean for about three months... He just recently started methadone (claims that is get rids of the urges) So I knew were that was going to go. Sure enough, he took his take-home Sunday methadone along with his Saturday (double the dose). Any of you know what that means, he seemed like he was on heroin. So because he did not have his Sunday supply, that means he will get sick and bought heroin.... I found him high, we got into a huge argument and the cops were called, he left... Later on, stupid me forgives him, because it was one slip and he got right back up... He was doing so well, but now he is on methadone AND pot now, and I just know where this is going to go... but it's just pot, it's not a crack pipe, or a needle... but one can not be half sober... AHHHH....now he got the doctors to up his methadone dose and today he looked so high, I was unsure if he was on dope.. I just don't trust him.... I want to support him, but I still think he is on dope, and I know he is not.... I feel like I am not giving him the support he needs... But you know how I feel? I don't!!! He hurt me so much when he was high, I can't let that go... You should be clean and I did my time, and you know how I stopped drugs? I stopped taking them! I got rid of my phone number, got a new phone, and stopped doing drugs... I am venting here, but I am just so upset... why can't people stay clean? He is trying really hard to stay clean, but it's just being clean off of heroin... methadone to me, is the same thing. He nods off, gets into rages, and mood swings!!!! I just can't support someone trying to be clean if they can't step up to the plate and stay clean...

Ann

Regardless of the drug of choice today, even if it's no drug at all, you surely must ask yourself what's in it for you.

Attaching ourselves to someone who is emotionally unavailable is expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.

If he's raging and using and making your life miserable and he just came out of rehab, do you think things will be different next week? Next year?

Sweetie, I don't mean to sound harsh, but you deserve so much better than any of this. Have you tried any meetings just for you?

Sending hugs because you sound like you could use them

littlebird77

Please someone tell me what steps you take to support someone's recovery?
What do you do if they slip?

Thank you!

just for today

May sound harsh and it is not meant to be....but he is not in recovery, he is trading one drug for another....and the cycle continues.....your choice

Spiritual Seeker

Ann stated: "Attaching ourselves to someone who is emotionally unavailable is expecting something from someone who has nothing to give." That is just what I needed to hear today.
How to support? That is a tough one. When I see recovery in action it is easy to be supportive. If I find myself watching, noticing use, trying to control it, making suggestions, I know it just drags me into the codependent position and I start feeling icky myself real quickly.

rahsue

You do nothing. It's not your recovery, it's his. You need to work on your own recoery, the recovery from codependence.