geees poncho

I just found out tonight that my stbxw has found a new man.
I knew in my gut that this was happening, and i'm a little surprised at myself,
about a 1/2 hr anger 1/2 hr. of hurt, 1/2 hr of ouch, and now, OH WELL. It maybe shock, or I just really don't give a rip. Denial I don't know, kinda confused, maybe in the AM I'll have a better view.

Barbara52

I think that whenever we find that a former partner is moving on there is bound to be all sorts of emotions that pop up in us.

I know my STBXAH started looking within a couple of months of my leaving, even while saying he wanted things to work out. He has had a long distance online romance going on for a while now and some of the church ladies say they've seen him kissing some woman. When I found out, mostly I didn't care but a part was hurt and surprised and angry a little.

I do know that my STBXAH is the type of man who doesn't function well on his own. I'm sure it won't be long til he is married (once our divorce happens) because he is a very needy sort of person and a user besides. He'll find another woman to take my place as enabler and financial support. {shrug} It doesn't matter to me anymore. I am too glad to have awoken and gotten myself out of that unhealthy marriage.

Spiritual Seeker

All you can do is ride the emotions out like a wave.
This too shall pass.
Stay the course, you are doing well on your own.

Cynay

I found that at first the shock was enough to keep me in an emotional numb.... then I would start the mourning process when it really started to sink in... then I would do the self defeating behavior... and then the real healing and mourning started....

I know that there have been times when it seemed to me that there was not alot of emotion... but that usually ment one of two things... either I had been going through the mourning while still in that relationship so that when it ended and they moved on... it did not hurt as much cuz I had moved through alot of the pain.... OR.... I was not ready yet and my system shut down till I was and I would be numb till I could deal and then I mourned.

However it plays out for you ... just remember not to downplay the emotions... just let yourself feel them.

gns

I hope that there is not too much hurt for you G.P. and that your healing continues well.

Rella927

So sorry you are going through this right now. I love what Spiritual stated above! Feel the feelings...it is ok to do so!

I know when my XABF found someone new after claiming his undying love to me and how he wanted to get sober (found someone already about here) and spend the rest of his life together with me (still drinking) and there was no one in the world for him but me (How was dinner last night with the new one?) LOL ......

Just trying to make light of this situation- After a few times of being burned by him or rather myself allowing it to happen- I realized that it was not about me...it was about his drinking-it was always about the drinking-I was making the right choice by taking care of me and leaving him out of my life and moving on -

Comfort zone-Female, Money, Drink!

Good Luck- and please feel the emotions and take care of YOU!

bluejay6

i'm sorry, geees. new good things, and people, can't come into our lives until there is a clearing for them. if you can, see it as a sign from the cosmos that the clearing for you is underway, that for you the old is now being let go to make way for the new, which will be better, stronger, healthier, and bring you peace, no more anguish. until you have a clearing of the old, your dreams can't come true. keep hold of your dreams, geees. they're on their way.

geees poncho

Absolutly perfect, nailed it, Thank you so much,
Eggzzactly what I needed to hear.

You folks are so great, where would I be without you people!!!

I'm going to pop the top on a ice cold coke.

Heres to us. Gulp, gulp, gulp. Yeee Haaa