Roe-Roe

I'm new here, I am a 46 year old woman and I feel like I need to be here because no one knows I have a problem. At first I blamed it on bad things that happened in my life, then I blamed it on my ex. The fact of the matter is he did make it much worse, but when he was gone I was feeling sorry for myself and once again drinking everynight. It's been over a week now and I feel good, but I feel lost. Does this make sense? I feel like the whole world of "fun" revolves around drinking. It's ironic I feel like this because my ex told me that I wasn't any fun and now I feel like if I wasn't fun then what am I now? That's when I feel lonely and affraid.
Tonight I really want a drink that's why I came on here hoping for some guidance. Any suggestions? Thanks.

Astro

I've got a few years sober. For me "fun" starts every afternoon with an AA meeting and the friends I've made in recovery. Have you thought about attending a meeting?

Welcome to SR! It's nice to meet you and I'm glad you're here.

Surlyredhead

Yes, it makes perfect sense. I used to wonder how I was ever going to have fun again without drinking, being sober was foreign to me, I would have to face my demons, and I would never have fun again. Boy-oh-Boy was I wrong. I found that once I started working on making myself well, the fun came naturally...with time and sobriety. If no one knows about your Alcoholism, a meeting wold be a good place to start. Everyone there will be able to relate and no one will judge you for being ill. Truly, sharing will feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Then you can work on getting on with your life...really living, not merely existing.

Good luck and I look forward to hearing of your progress,

Cathy

Anna

Hi Roe Roe,

Welcome!

I think, as you start in recovery, you will find that you don't care so much what other people say about you. Believe in yourself and that you can have a great life as a sober person.

Jomey

HI Roe-Roe, welcome to SR! What you said really struck me! What are you now? You are a sober woman who is seeking the strength to do the right thing, stay sober, and not let the opinion of someone else influence her so much that she contemplates giving up her sobriety! That's who you are! And your potential is unlimited if you choose to improve your life with sobriety! Think about that..YOU have unlimited potential.

Sounds like you need some support to reach that potential, though, just like the rest of us, so keep posting here, and like Astro suggested, maybe try a meeting?

Keep posting!

CarolD

I began AA recovery at 48.
I too was divorced and my life revolved
around alcohol. I was a daily drinker.

Wow! what an awesome adventure
AA is for me!

...Welcome to SR!

nandm

Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.:ghug2

reed

Go to a meeting and try to find somone to be your sponsor, work the steps. There is plenty to do besides drink. Try to find some more independence within yourself, forget your ex. I just started some classes to renew my PADI scuba lisence....next I might sky dive who knows. God knows I would never been allowed to Scuba when I was bombed ha.....reach out in AA, you gotta really want it...

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

HI Ro,

I fantastic woman that I know goes by that name..

I can relate to what you are saying. I believe that many of us start drinking in order to fit in..we don't feel comfy in our skin and it helps..for a little while. Then, like you are finding out, it gets to the point where it just ain't fun anymore..it's a mechanism to feel.

I had to re-learn how to enjoy life. I've had to learn just who I really am..deep down inside and be good with it. And now, yes I do have a lot of fun. And I'm finding that I enjoy quiet times too. A lot lol. And I have folks in my life who like me for who I am..

It hasn't been easy, or comfortable but I can promise you that it's all worth it. There's a whole new life out there!

Best of luck,

Karen

Change4life

Welcome to SR Roe. Im also 46 and have been battling alcohol for 30 years.

i use to associate drinking with fun also, but now i associate it with pain, loss, and suffering.

You have a week clean and thats great. Now when you think about drinking think about how good you feel without it. As addicts I think we have selective memories. we seem to forget the problems drinking brings and focus on the fun. I feel like it isnt worth it anymore.

I hope you keep posting and keep up the good work on your sobriety time.

Rowan

Hi Roe-Roe!

That's my nickname! Yippee!! Welcome to SR! You've found a wonderfully supportive community of people who understand the struggles you are facing.
Please keep posting and give sobriety a chance - I can't believe how much better my life is today. My life revolved around alcohol too; you are no longer alone, my friend.

Ro Ro

Roe-Roe

Thank you to all of you...I sooo appreciate it...it is this time of night that I feel like I have to be so strong...strong not to go for the bottle of Patron he left here...and even stronger not call him and tell him I miss and love him so much...I feel like the alchol battle is going well but I hurt so much at the fact he told me after 2 years that he never loved me and he will never love me...I am so sad...but still sober...thank you

CarolD

Have you considered counseling?
That might help with the issue of a broken marriage.

Sorry to know of your sadness and pain.

Roe-Roe

It's strange how a stranger becomes your best friend...but so sad when your best friend becomes a stranger...

Jules62

Hey-welcome.I'm 45 and have been very adept at hiding it too.I have also felt so alone at times-I know. *hugs*

I know and understand how easy it is to pick up, to try to fight the lonliness.But it doesn't work.But it's also damn hard not to when you're there alone with your thoughts.

Please know you're not alone.I'm on the other side of the world from you, but I feel so many of the same things too, and I'm doing my best to fight it.You can too.You're surrounded by people here who do understand.Your life isn't over-it's just beginning.

I'm not a huge fan of AA-but I have never forgotten my first meeting where they said 'Lets have a moments silence for all the alcoholics out there still suffering alone'....and I burst into tears(not something I do easily)...

I've never forgotten it.

I just want you to know whether you realise it or not-there are thousands of people thinking of you right now.Not just me.

Julesxox

SF69

Very well put. A therapist I once had said that when we drink while doing 'fun' activities, especially if you start drinking at a young age, your brain associates the fun with the alcohol and not the activity.

RK2007

Don't be afraid Roe-Roe, there are people here who know what you're going through and have been through similar - it's very hard but you can do it, keep posting and let us know how you're doing...

ritchie1

i know how u feel... i try to stop drinking but i always feel worse..sick
after a few cocktails i feel ok... but i want to stop

HELP

nandm

Welcome to SR, you are in the right place.

I would suggest that you start a thread to introduce yourself as it is easy for your post to get lost in a thread like this. You will be more likely to have people see and respond to your post that way.

Every time I tried to stop drinking on my own I too always felt worse and never was able to stay stopped. Have you considered a program of recovery? Here is a link to a list of recovery programs.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

Roe-Roe

It's Saturday and I am nervous about tonight I am going out with a bunch of friends to see a Jazz player this is going to be my biggest test...I refuse to give up my social life I am going to be strong and TRY to have fun without the alcohol ..I know I can do it...wish me luck!



It's strange how a stranger becomes your best friend...but so sad when your best friend becomes a stranger...