gypsyrose

AH finally managed to all but stop drinking about a year and a half ago, with the help of antabuse. I know he's had the occasional slip since then but nothing like the road he was headed down before.

Guess what? He's still an abusive jerk. I've thought seriously of leaving him but the abuse wouldn't end there. We have two disabled children together, I'm a homeschool mom. He could actually make things worse for all of us. He's a successful trial attorney. He's also a diagnosed narcissitic, sociopath. And he's armed.

I feel trapped into having to make the best of things. My life is good... if I can just ignore his attempts at control, threats, manipulations, lying, swearing, insults, lack of anything resembling kindness, etc.

Mr. Christian

Gee Im still waiting to hear the good part.
The longer you live like you are the more damage it will do for you and your children.
It’s a big choice.

Have you tried ALANON?

laurie6781

You do know that as it is that bad, you call the nearest domestic violence shelter and they will not only come and get you and the kids, they will make arrangements to transfer you to a different shelter in a different city and possibly a different state if he is dangerous as it sounds he is.

You do have options to get you and the children out of there.

You do not have to live with abuse, nor do your children.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

gypsyrose

I did go to some alanon meetings when AH was actively drinking. We're staying in a new area for a few months and I'm looking into both alanon and domestic abuse meetings here. AH has been a tyrant the last couple of weeks. I'm now pretty much ignoring him. As the saying goes, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I've been doing a bang up job of wallowing in self pity recently. Remebering all that he's put me through and what little kindness I've seen all these years. This isn't normal for me. I feel like everything is so hopeless. I finally gave in and started taking anti-depressants this week.

bluejay6

from your description of him, particularly "diagnosed sociopath", i think you are very wise not to be making any independent changes which will deeply anger him. i hear your fear when you write that he could make things a lot worse for you and your children, should you decide to leave.

i hope you might consider getting counseling from a domestic violence counselor. i know you will likely have to do it on the sly, which may seem very frightening to you. you could call the local hotline and talk to someone about this, and about your situation and your options.

many people think domestic violence pertains only to physical abuse. it does not. emotional abuse which forces extreme submission and fear also qualifies.

often the advice is to "just walk away" from an addict. but if the addict is a sociopath, things could explode. sociopaths have no conscience and no remorse and in my opinion are far more dangerous than anyone who has the disease of addiction. for the sociopath will never change. it is hard-wired. he will NEVER change. and is and will always be extremely dangerous.

so do take care. please make a call for help. i am worried for you.

karmakoma

Sorry to hear that things are difficult with you at the moment.

Have you looked at a forum such as Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group :: Index ? There are boards on there for people dealing with spouses who are narcissists and psychopaths.

You don't have to live this way, you know?

Miss Pink

dry isnt sober.

you arent helpless....lots of legal protection for you, if he is an attorney, sounds like he makes enoughmoney to support you if you leave. seek an attorney for advice..
arm yourself with knowldege...youare not a victim. there are options.

LaTeeDa

There have been threads here in the past discussing how the solutions that Alanon offers can be unhelpful and even downright dangerous when dealing with an abusive relationship. I think the suggestion to call a DV helpline is a good one. Also, one on one personal counseling could help.

L

BohemiMamaof3

That's good???? Oh dear! (((Gypsyrose))) Get help for yourself! You don't deserve to live like that!
I don't know what to say, but it seems like you have been given some good advice above. Procede with caution.