Gained back trust
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Gained back trust
Well all...Once again I have gratefully gained back my family's trust.
How do I know this? Well..My cousin went to NC for a week and left me her car so I can get to work. I am asked to watch the kids again. I dont get funny looks of fear from my aunt and uncle when they see me in their house when they get home. Even my uncle let me use his truck to go to work a couple times.
And with that...I havent had an urge to side track to the city to pick up. I feel strong about this try. I have alot of thoughts..But they havent been physical urges. Maybe a couple very short lived ones here and there. I even have keys to my job. Cash and door keys. But they have no idea of my history.
It feels good to be able to be trusted like that.
I have only just begun.
It's funny..Usually when I get money,I have to fight the idea of wanting to get high. It was just habit. But now I dont even think about that. I am thinking I want my internet cable and phone. I am planning a caribbean cruise sometime within the next year for me and my grams. I think she would really like that. I got my aunt and uncle tickets to go see Larry the cable guy in May. My thanks to them for always being there and the endless support and help they have given me.
I am truely blessed with a wonderful family. And to be honest. I got a taste of disconnection from every person in my family in Nov. And it litterally scared me to death to think I didnt have anyone including my grams.
That was the next extreme for me. Losing my family. Far worse than death as far as I am concerned.
How do I know this? Well..My cousin went to NC for a week and left me her car so I can get to work. I am asked to watch the kids again. I dont get funny looks of fear from my aunt and uncle when they see me in their house when they get home. Even my uncle let me use his truck to go to work a couple times.
And with that...I havent had an urge to side track to the city to pick up. I feel strong about this try. I have alot of thoughts..But they havent been physical urges. Maybe a couple very short lived ones here and there. I even have keys to my job. Cash and door keys. But they have no idea of my history.
It feels good to be able to be trusted like that.
I have only just begun.
It's funny..Usually when I get money,I have to fight the idea of wanting to get high. It was just habit. But now I dont even think about that. I am thinking I want my internet cable and phone. I am planning a caribbean cruise sometime within the next year for me and my grams. I think she would really like that. I got my aunt and uncle tickets to go see Larry the cable guy in May. My thanks to them for always being there and the endless support and help they have given me.
I am truely blessed with a wonderful family. And to be honest. I got a taste of disconnection from every person in my family in Nov. And it litterally scared me to death to think I didnt have anyone including my grams.
That was the next extreme for me. Losing my family. Far worse than death as far as I am concerned.
. I'm happy for you.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Chi - I remember when you first got here. That was one scared, angry self-hating little girl.
I've watched you work on yourself .. and se you truly change.
You've come so far, hon.
Thanks for helping me stay sober.
*applause*
I've watched you work on yourself .. and se you truly change.
You've come so far, hon.
Thanks for helping me stay sober.
*applause*
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Trish)))
Your post just made my day!!!
I know how you feel about the money now. I used to want to go straight to the dope boy....now, I think of how hard I work for my money and of all the things I want, and getting high just isn't one of those things.
You really have come a long way, and it's so great to hear you have earned back trust with your family....great feeling, isn't it?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Your post just made my day!!!
I know how you feel about the money now. I used to want to go straight to the dope boy....now, I think of how hard I work for my money and of all the things I want, and getting high just isn't one of those things.
You really have come a long way, and it's so great to hear you have earned back trust with your family....great feeling, isn't it?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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