Dean62

Hi. I have am not sober. I mean right at the moment I am because I drank all I had yesterday and am going through some tough withdrawals right now.

I don't expect to stay sober today. I need a drink so bad right now. The stores don't start selling beer until 7am. That is a couple hours away. The state run liquor stores don't open until 10am.

I know I am an alcoholic. I really need to stop badly but have not been successful.

I no longer have faith that I can ever stop even though I know life was so much better the last time I stopped and that was because I was in jail for drinking and driving. Jail was better then where I am at in my head today.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this one.

paulmh

Try AA.

bugsworth

Dean, You can stop! Go to a hospital if you need to, find a sober friend to help you, but don't pick up. You stated you stopped before, do it again. Humans are amazing, don't convince yourself you can't because it then becomes a self fullfilling prophecy.

CarolD

Yes...millions of us stopped and stayed stopped
using AA Get into action ...get into AA.


Blessings

lostmdboy

AA was truely a mirical in my life. I walked into the rooms shaking and desperate, and today I have over a year. There is hope for a better life. Just call the AAHot line, and get to a meeting.

nogard

Welcome to SR, thats a good start what next?

Kevin

Dean62

I hadn't thought of this as a start but then again I haven't thought about much but getting some more alcohol. I guess I am trying to reach out for help. I know that sounded stupid but if the shoe fits.

So what is next?

I found the website with all the meetings in Salt Lake but none have started yet. Next thing I'm going to do is pray.

Rowan

Welcome

splendra

I'm praying with ya buddy..

nogard

Thats good, maybe get to a meeting as soon as you can and get some rest as well.

A desire to stop boozing or using is great.

Kevin

theonlyway

This is a start... And I'll pray with you, too...

Krissy 72

Hi Dean, I am only on day 2 and I can relate to what you are feeling:

I am a mess, but I know that I can do this. If I screw up, I will quit again... and again, and again until this part of my life is over, because living this way - drunk all day - is not living. I know you have some hope in you because you are on here and you are praying. For me, half the battle is keeping that hope (that I could/can beat this, even though I was drinking) alive and letting it grow. Even if you don't quit right this moment, at least believe that you can, and that you will.

Drinking all day - I know you are not happy, because thats what I did. I was never a part time alcoholic. I think for us all day drinkers, the only moment that even comes close to happiness (? I know thats the wrong word) is just before that first drink, when you have plenty of booze for the day - and thats it. Then it's just another slide into numbness, ending another wasted day feeling depressed and hating yourself. It feels like a lead weight on your soul.

You are worth more than that, you deserve more than that, and you CAN have more than that. Just please - even if you don't quit today - believe that.

I hope I didn't overstep my bounds here, if I did I have a good excuse... I'm sitting here feeling like crap with my cranberry juice and my blanket. But, I'm welcoming it. I know this will pass, and I know that tonight I will feel physically sick, but I didn't waste today and I will not go to sleep feeling guilty again.

Maybe you could talk to a doctor - put a plan in motion, so you will be ready when you do quit.

I have been praying a lot too, and I will pray for you today.

Again, I am just starting and felt just like you. If I can help in any way, let me know. I know if a mess like me can do it - even for a day - than you surely can.

All the best to you,

Krissy

Dean62

I didn't stop yesterday. Right now it looks like I am going to make it through today for what thats worth.

User_Name

Make it through today, and then don't drink tomorrow. One day at a time my friend. After today, you will have done day one. Day one is pretty tough to make it through, and you are close.

I operate in the same mindset of one day at a time. I will do my best for today, and worry about tomorrow when it comes.

theonlyway

ust today Dean, that's all you need to do... just today. You can do it

HuGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGs

Dean62

Although I don't trust myself I will not stop trying. Thank you for reminding me I must not give up.

Thank you also to the rest of you that have taken the time to respond.

I made it through yesterday Friday the 25th with ought a drink. At the end of the day the you could actually smell the detox. I don't need to go into all the details but it was bad.

Today I have been doing better until this last hour or so. I'm irratable, jumpy and my head feels like cotton. There is probably more but I can't think straight right now I'm just glad I made through yesterday. This will be day two for me because I don't want to go through another yesterday.

Pilgrim

Hi Dean,

Hang in there. We are here with you.

Can you get to a meeting? What time is it there?

Steph

Goodnfast

Dean:

You made the effort and took the time to find this place. You can stop. Some things are scarier to think about than to actually do.

Keep pushing!

Dean62

No I haven't been to a meeting since I stopped drinking. I would have to ride the bus downtown for more then an hour and I'm not physically ready. I fear it would trigger a panic attack. I still have plenty of fear.

We are also in the middle of our biggest snow storm of the year. I will try and figure something out.

Thanks for the thought.

Missymae737

Welcome to SR...

I am happy you found us...:bounce