kellster

but I'm back. My AS was clean for over a year, got off probation, and relapsed within a month. This time his drug use (heroine, other opiates) led to him commiting some serious crimes. He may be facing a lengthy prison sentence. He is in jail now, and my question is, how does my daughter in law explain to their children - ages 18 months, 4 and 6yrs. old- where Daddy is?She has already told the two older ones that he's in jail. I don't know if that was a good idea, but it's already done.

hope213

glad to see you. being a mom of an addict i totally know where u are coming from. my son is my addict. he is also in jail. i never had to deal with the problem of telling his children. his wife always handled that. just want to say we r here for you & i am so sorry. prayers,

mooselips

kellster,
I think it's very difficult to explain to children as young as your sons the circumstances, the why, or where he is. On the other hand, the children have to be told something.

Since she already told them, I guess the ball is in her court. I believe honesty is the best way to go, but how to explain to a little one, gee that's really a tough one....

Sorry to hear about your son, they make it so hard on theirselves.

Hopefully his jail time will give him time to rethink his choices.

Hugs,

kellster

Thank you for your replies. It helps so much to know others feel the same . I pray for everyone here.

caileesnana

I am sorry for your pain. I know how it hurts. Please take care of you and those precious children. They need you now more than ever.
Prayers,
susan
:praying

hello-kitty

There are books on the subject on Amazon.com. Google "father in prison". I never told my 2 1/2 year old where his daddy was - only that he was far away, loved him very much and would see him when he could. He was used to his father being gone alot anyway, being a crack addict and such.

puddinface

Kellster....I too have an AS that is now sitting in jail for 47 days. He will be released from probation when he gets out next month and I am worried that he will relapse again also. For about a week I was a basket case...thinking about him sitting in jail. But, after much consolation from my friends here at SR, I realized that it was his own doing that landed him there. Everything happens for a reason. Just take one day at a time and hope that this may be his wake up call. We can only hope and pray...Hugs to you.:praying

lostparent

Hi my daughter is in jail she we told her son an his cousins all who range between the ages 3 to 8 yrs old where she is they ask why an we just said it was adult time out. Lucky enough none of them ask what she did. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

kellster

Thankyou all for the good advice. I think adult time out is a good answer. As far as why he's there, I think we'll just say it's not for them to worry about, and not their fault. My other DIL is a day-care teacher, and she suggested having them draw pictures and write notes to send to Daddy. I pray for all of you.

sleepygoat

My AD was only jail for a day here or there and she has no kids, so I have no real experience to share. I do like the idea of seeking a book on the subject, and also "adult time-out" might work. I know my sponsor's husband was in jail for a year, and their 3 kids were 4, 5, and just born at the time. She told the two older ones, "Daddy had to leave to do God's work" (the man was clean and a born again christain at that time). I thought that was just an awful thing to tell them, because they were angry as hell for the whole year, and couldn't understand why God would give their daddy 'work' that he couldn't come home from.

Mostly, though, I'll pray for you and your son, and the family. It must be so hard to see him throw away what he had worked so hard to acheive.