obsessed

As I posted earlier, my 18 year old AD Lauren did not go home last night. She had a job interview at 12 which she did not go to, a lady that comes in my work, works there and she called and asked. I texted her a few minutes a go and asked her where she was, she texted back that she guessed she was out again for now that she loved me and to text her. I asked where she was she texted in Oxford a college town that is about 1 or 1/2 a way that I know nothing about, i then told her to bring her ass home her response was no way I have met some cool people!!! I am shocked that I am not fraking out but I have been expecting it she has been home since Christmas Eve and I could tell she was acting kinda restless so all I can do is pray she makes it home alive again.........

SoberAndy

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope she hasn't relapsed, but even if she hasn't her behavior is grossly inconsiderate and that of someone who still an addict.

Miss Pink

addicts have 9 lives...and then some....let go, let god....

and when she comes home.....will you allow her back to live....again?

or will you enforce boundaries?

BigSis

I just posted to a new mom tonight, Obsessed. I told her the one thing that I wished I could learn faster was...


To let them fall.


To allow my kids to make decisions - bad decisions - and for ME to not save them. To not provide that "soft landing". Because every time I do so, I take from them the opportunity to get the LESSON out of the experience.

I am sorry she is back out again.... but many who are strong in their recovery today had to go back out in order to figure out that they really WANTED sobriety and what exactly they needed to do to retain it.

To get some hope, I sometimes attend open AA meetings and listen the stories of the addicts and alcoholics who make it back in. Addicts ARE resilient. God really IS watching them.


Please know you are in my prayers, Obsessed. (((hugs)))

mooselips

obsessed,
I'm glad to hear your worries seem a little lighter, than a few weeks ago.

You seem to be doing well detaching yourself from the chaos.
But, perhaps you need to set up some boundaries for the next time she pops back home.

Something to think about.


Hugs to you,

caileesnana

Are our two AD"s twins????? Let her go, let her stay. I know you want to help so do I, but it doesn't work....Every time Kasy wanted help we helped, but her dad and I both said this time, she did it, she knows where and how to get help and it's on her. I know your pain and wish we could sit by my fireplace and talk. Noone needs to do this alone, the pain is unbearable.l

my prayers are w/ you
susan

grateful2b

((((((((((obsessed))))))))))

best

Things will hit the fan many times in our life.
Learning where to stand rather then trying to stop the fan sure does keep our clothes a lot cleaner.

Don't be shocked that you are not freaking out... be amazed at how well your recovery is working. You have learned not to stand in front of the fan.

bookmiser

((((((((Obsessed))))))))

havehope

Good for you for making progress.
I agree to let her go. You can't control her, only your behaviour to her. It is very hard to let our daughters make mistakes, but that is how they learn. I think I have learned that with my oldest daughter. I think . lol
Stay strong and know I am sending prayers for both of you.
Hugs

rahsue

I'm sorry that she decided to leave but you really do sound like you're coping ok. I know how you feel and pray she comes home without relapsing

justjo

I would start setting boundaries. After all she is only 18. Maybe tell her to park her ass wherever she wants but not at your place.
My son would disappear for days at a time, then come home and act like nothing was wrong. Never worked, used and abused everyone up until the day I said no more. I made him pack and leave. We worry about them all the time but there comes a point when we must address whats not working.

Hangin' In

So glad you aren't freaking out. That is a good sign that recovery is kicking in, Obsessed. Good for you.

When my AD started disrespecting me and getting confused as to who sets the rules in our house, well, that's when I had to start setting some boundaries. And trust me. It took me a long time to learn how to do that. The only way I learned was by going to Al Anon meetings, listening to those who are making it and have something I want.

Just remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. If she waltzes into your home and there are no consequences for this behavior of hers, then what is to deter her from acting that way again?

I'm praying for both you and your daughter.

Hugs,
Hangin' In
P.S. I think our "Dixie's" are close together. I know where Oxford is. Grew up not too far from there.

sleepygoat

That sucks, truly. Off to the races again as they say. The hope is that she will find the cool people not so cool and the high not so high sooner than last time, and possibly learn something new (like willingness, surrender, honesty?) But you sound pretty OK -
We moms are amazing

hope213

i truely hope she is not using but it sure don't sound good. prayers for your daughter & prayers of peace for you. hugs,