nowinsituation

As I have briefly shared -- my husband has a serious disability (blindness) that has had a huge negative impact on our marriage long before the problem of alcoholism was on my radar. I have been reflecting a lot lately on the similarities of dealing with both of these situations -- I think I really became an enabler and codependent on the disability issue; that I would have put a stop to sooner if I had known how damaging it was to both of us . . .

Hope is dead . . .
He is in denial -- why can't he see it? If he would just accept things and get help things would be so much better. I have always been here, keeping a positive outlook, cheering him up, trying to show him the bright side. I wanted him to see it on his own. I wanted him to learn to help himself. I wanted him to change -- but now I see I can't make him change. He withdraws more and more. He won't communicate. I am hurt - I am angry. Yes, hope is dead.

Long live hope . . .
I can change myself! I can't fix his problems. I can leave and I can live. I can greive and cry. Eventually I will learn to accept it and put it behind me. My anger and my guilt will be gone and my heart will be healed. Yes, long live hope!

JT

I am sorry that you had to go through what you had to go through to get where you are today but that is the beauty part.

You have learned two very valuable lessons that you can carry with you for the rest your life and recovery.

You can't change another person and you can change yourself.

We are so stubborn about those two simple concepts but when we get them...really get them...life can be all bright and shiny.

((Hugs))