rayofhope

I Am A 34 Year Old Woman At The End Of My Rope. I Have A 14 Year Old A 4 Year Old A 2 Year Old And A 8 Week Old Trying To Maintain Order Is So Hard And When I Add Into The Mix My Addict Husband Of 11 Years I Am About To Loose My Mind!!!!! My Husband Hid His Addictions For Years I Had Never Been Around People Who Did Drugs And I Did Not Know What Was Going On I Thought He Just Liked Hanging Out With His Friends Long Story Short He Has Been Clean From Coke 6 Months Clean From Weed 7 Weeks But Drink Drinks Drinks. He Is Going To Kill Himself He Says He Is Willing To Get Help We Just Don't Know Where To Start. I Feel Myself Slipping Into A Deep Depression I Don't Want To Leave My House I Don't Want My Husband To Touch Me And I Am Eating Every Thing In The House. The Only Thing I Want To Do Is Be Home With My Kids. I Want To Run Screaming From This Small Two Bedroom Apartment But I Don't Know Where To Run

Wascally Wabbit

There is one place you can run to. The nearest alanon meeting. Get to it as soon as you can and go more than once! You wil find help there.

Ann

I think it's good that you recognize the you have a problem too, depression can sneak up on us and take over our lives if we let it.

I agree that Alanon is a good place to start. You will find lots of support there and a better way of living your life regardless of how your husband is doing. Meetings saved my life, it's well worth investigating to see if they can help you.

We may not be able to do anything to change an addict who doesn't want to change. Words mean nothing when they are not backed by action. There is help for him when he is ready, but in the meantime you really need to look after yourself and your children.

My prayers go out for all of you. Just know that we're here and we care.

Hugs

Hangin' In

Welcome Rayofhope. You are no longer alone because you've found a great place for support and a great group of people who are all dealing with addiction in some form or another.

Like best said, read around here, especially those stickies up at the top. And then read other posts, too. Start your own posts and listen to the people who seem to have something you want.

I understand the desperate feeling, and the only way I got of out those feelings was by going to Al Anon meetings and reading on this board. Meeting with other people, face to face, who TOTALLY understand how I'm feeling ... scared, angry, guilty, resentful, etc., helps me so much. They share their experience, strength and hope and I listen carefully. I've learned to change some of the things I was doing. When I did that, my life started getting better.

Just remember this. You are not responsible for his addiction. At meetings the tell us this regarding our loved one's addiction:

We did not CAUSE it
We cannot CONTROL it
We cannot CURE it

I hope you'll stick around and post some more. In the meantime, I'm sending hugs and prayers for you and your family.

Hangin' In

by myself again

Stick around here and just read, I did that and it has helped me so much. I had to question many things about myself but I am doing alot better because of it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this all and with having a brand new baby.