puddinface

Well, I'm back again. I thought that today was going to be the start of some new beginnings for my 21 year old AS but it didn't go as I had expected. He was due to sign into Rehab immediately after his court date this morning (for his Violation of Probation for testing positive) and instead...the judge locked him up. He said that the probation officers gave him as much rope as possible and as many chances as possible and that they just dont want him anymore. So he decided, it was time for some tough love. He wants him to sit in jail for 90 days and he will release him of probation and then its up to him to get his own help. I am breathing deep...I am saying my prayers. Maybe this will make him really think....maybe not. He has never been in jail before. I just have to make it through this day...and then tomorrow...and then the next...Say a prayer for me. I need it today. Thanks.

LITA1978

Hugs To You. You Can Get Threw It. You Are In My Prayers.

hope213

you have my prayers. i am sorry that things did not go as you thought they would but they have gone as they should . i believe that & it helps me get through my days. i hope when he gets out that he will get the help he needs. this is also a chance for him to get clean & sober & if he really wants it he can get help when he gets out to stay that way. my heart goes out to you. i know it is hard. i remember when my a.s. was locked up the first time how hard it was.19 yrs. later he is in jail as of now but it is nothing new to me. he has been in jail more than he has been out since then.bad thing of it is his 16yr. son is in there at the same time. sad isn't it? my recovery keeps me sane & i detach as much as i can. i do not take a front row seat to it as i did. keep posting,work your recovery & take care of you. there is nothing u can do for him but pray & turn him over to your h.p. hugs,

havehope

Sending more prayers.
One day at a time, right?
Hugs

puddinface

Thanks guys. I'm trying real hard to be strong here. I know I need to take care of me...god knows I've tried to take care of him for a long time now. There's nothing more I can do but pray. Thank you.

Spiritual Seeker

((((((((PuddinFace))))))))))))))
The last time my son was getting deep into "his stuff" a friend said "Good he is going in the right direction, because he needs to get to the bottom"
She was right. The legal system seems to be a very good teacher for many.
Your son is safe and being fed. He will have sober time to think.
You will be fine too. Sometimes we just need to see things from another angle.
Sending you support during this difficult time. I know it is not easy but you have the tools to be okay it just takes a few days to remember them.

marle

Sending some prayers your way. It is funny but I pray everyday for my daughter to go to jail. To sit and think and get some clarity. She can't do that when she is out there using. Jail would be a nice break. Hugs, Marle

Impurrfect

(((puddin)))

I spent 1 month in county jail, and 4-1/2 months in a diversion center (like a work-releas program). I hated it at the time, but it was definitely what I needed.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

mooselips

puddinface,
Believe it or not, I think this is wonderful news. He is warm, safe, fed, and sober. PLUS, he has 90 days to contemplate what direction he wants his life to go.

The best thing that ever happened to my youngest AS, was to spend 3 months in jail. It seemed to change his whole outlook somehow, and he has remained sober since serving that 3 months.

Now, on the other hand, oldest AS doesn't seem to appreciate the quiet, reflective time when in jail, and does much more constructive stuff, like popsicle buildings, and tattoos.

I'm hoping this is the Godsend your son needs. I'm thinking optimistically!

Hugs to you, and enjoy you're peace of mind for now.

puddinface

Mooselips!!!! OMG, that was the first time I laughed all day long!!!! (The popsicle buildings almost made me fall off my chair!!!) Thank you so much for that...i cant get this smile off my face. Thank you thank you thank you! I needed that! Hugs to you.

sleepygoat

Agree with everybody else - he's safer than using on the outside, and it may be just the thing to give him some clarity.

But yes, you will do this one day at a time and you will be just fine.

krhea75

man, i can relate to the fears. I'm sorry that your son has to go, but someone on here said to me, don't stir the waters, let what happens,happen. or something like that. It mae sense to me. I'll pray for you. My son ended up only spending a week-end this time, and it seemed to affect him. But who knows how long that will last. I hope a long time, but i'm realistic about it. Hang in there.
krhea

Wascally Wabbit

I have had so much experience with kids in jail, that I don't even get upset if it happens any more. I do have to say that the oldest went back while on prob cuz he couldn't pass a pee test. He wound up getting clean. He's been out of jail for 4 months and has been clean! Sometimes jail is good for them. Kinda hard to believe, but at least we know where they are.

rose

I know that it is your son, for me it was my husband. My worst fear was for him to have to go to jail. My fear came true, but my fear turned into calm while he was there. My fear started again when he was getting out, either which way treatment or jail was in his HP's hands. I know here treatment he could run from, jail he couldn't.

Rose

Babs

Three hots and a cot.....heat and/or AC.......time clean......time to think......not that bad, really. I always seemed to be the most worry-free when my XAH was in jail.

The humiliation factor was another thing, however. I was ashamed to tell people that he was in jail. I just hated it when he would send letters to my local P.O. Box and they would be stamped "from an inmate at ........County jail." When I went to get him some glasses and they asked, "Can't he come in for a fitting?" I didn't know what to say.....I could not spit out the words, "No, he is in jail."

It took a lot of work for me to finally stop feeling shame for his actions.

Take care of yourself during this time, and for heaven's sake, don't blame yourself. If he is big enough to get in trouble, he is big enough to handle the consequences.....and you get to rest easy and not wonder where he is or what he is doing.

((((((Hugs)))))
Babs

puddinface

Thanks guys.....I will take all your words of wisdom and use them wisely. I know you are all right that he is in a safe place and not using. Which does give me some comfort. Still cant get rid of that ache in my heart...but I'm sure it will ease up after a few days. Thanks again. Pud