whats your thoughts
remember to breathe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
whats your thoughts
I've been doing pretty good regarding my enabling crap but...
my son's car is out front, broke down awaiting our friend the mechanic to come and get it to fix it and he has the keys (cars locked)
my husband has the other set of keys but can't find them, my son's hockey equipment is in the car, he starts hockey tonight
NO ONE BUT ME HAS LOOKED FOR THESE KEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Should I go get the keys off the friend so son can go to hockey? Hockey is one of his favorite things to do and tonight is the first night, he's been waiting for this new session of hockey to start for a month and a half.
If I don't get the keys this house is going to be not only loud with the screaming of where are the keys and why did the friend take the other set and then the house will be turned upside down looking for them (and I know they won't find them )
OR should I go out for a few hours and let them deal with the crap...
I really do want him to go to hockey, it's always been a good outlet for him
hmmm..... good mom? recovering mom? hmmmmmm.......
my son's car is out front, broke down awaiting our friend the mechanic to come and get it to fix it and he has the keys (cars locked)
my husband has the other set of keys but can't find them, my son's hockey equipment is in the car, he starts hockey tonight
NO ONE BUT ME HAS LOOKED FOR THESE KEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Should I go get the keys off the friend so son can go to hockey? Hockey is one of his favorite things to do and tonight is the first night, he's been waiting for this new session of hockey to start for a month and a half.
If I don't get the keys this house is going to be not only loud with the screaming of where are the keys and why did the friend take the other set and then the house will be turned upside down looking for them (and I know they won't find them )
OR should I go out for a few hours and let them deal with the crap...
I really do want him to go to hockey, it's always been a good outlet for him
hmmm..... good mom? recovering mom? hmmmmmm.......
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: DUBLIN, GA
Posts: 35
Well If It Was Me I Would Leave And Let Them Make That Decision. If He Wants To Go Bad Enough He Will Find Them. You Cant Do Everything For Him. But At The Same Time, Being The Type Person I Am, I Would Have To Look. I Hate To Loose Something And When I Get Started I Cant Stop Till I Find It. Ha Ha.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
You shouldn't be responsible for fixing this...
But I would probably get the keys and get the stuff out. I'm just being honest because I know how I operate.
But...then I would most likely resent the whole house for relying on me.
I guess that wasn't such a helpful answer, huh?
(((Hugs)))
But I would probably get the keys and get the stuff out. I'm just being honest because I know how I operate.
But...then I would most likely resent the whole house for relying on me.
I guess that wasn't such a helpful answer, huh?
(((Hugs)))
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Yeah... I know what I probably "should do" and then how I really operate.
Sometimes, I can just walk away and let my kids fall.... but I have to be at a certain place in my head. Generally it has to be an accumulation of "stuff" that happens before I can get to the point where I really don't care enough to put out the effort.
You might check into how much it would cost to have the car towed away.... (evil grin). After all - it is an eyesore, and he doesn't sound too interested in getting it running again.
My sponsor always tells me to ....wait. pray. more shall be revealed.
(my sponsor is a smart lady!)
Consider how much (or little) effect there would be to him missing just ONE night of hockey. Then take yourself out to the early movie and let this unfold without your supervision!
((hugs)) Whatever you decide will be right for you at the time.
Sometimes, I can just walk away and let my kids fall.... but I have to be at a certain place in my head. Generally it has to be an accumulation of "stuff" that happens before I can get to the point where I really don't care enough to put out the effort.
You might check into how much it would cost to have the car towed away.... (evil grin). After all - it is an eyesore, and he doesn't sound too interested in getting it running again.
My sponsor always tells me to ....wait. pray. more shall be revealed.
(my sponsor is a smart lady!)
Consider how much (or little) effect there would be to him missing just ONE night of hockey. Then take yourself out to the early movie and let this unfold without your supervision!
((hugs)) Whatever you decide will be right for you at the time.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
rahsue,
My thought is, if it was that important to him, he'd be looking for the keys.
Ya think?
Knowing me, I'd be looking for them, then after I found them, wondering why I was the only one who cared enough to look.
And really, if he wants the hockey equipment bad enough they can get the door open with one of those bar jimmy things.
See if you can let yourself back up, and let them him take care of his problem. Maybe you could make it a test of your determination, and faith, that it will all turn out just the way it's suppose to.
Hugs,
It's tough not to step in, isn't it?
My thought is, if it was that important to him, he'd be looking for the keys.
Ya think?
Knowing me, I'd be looking for them, then after I found them, wondering why I was the only one who cared enough to look.
And really, if he wants the hockey equipment bad enough they can get the door open with one of those bar jimmy things.
See if you can let yourself back up, and let them him take care of his problem. Maybe you could make it a test of your determination, and faith, that it will all turn out just the way it's suppose to.
Hugs,
It's tough not to step in, isn't it?
'Round and 'Round I Go....
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 478
well...here's a thought....just my opinion....
I would let both husband and son know who has the only set of keys and inform them that your son's equipment is in the car. Then say you know what you need to do if you want your equipment for tonight. (Write the mechanics number on a post-it) Stick the post-it to the fridge and say "here's the number to get your keys. Mommy is going out to take care of a few things for herself." go get yourself a manicure and pedicure or go shopping but turn off the cellphone.
I would let both husband and son know who has the only set of keys and inform them that your son's equipment is in the car. Then say you know what you need to do if you want your equipment for tonight. (Write the mechanics number on a post-it) Stick the post-it to the fridge and say "here's the number to get your keys. Mommy is going out to take care of a few things for herself." go get yourself a manicure and pedicure or go shopping but turn off the cellphone.
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Originally Posted by rahsue 
my son's hockey equipment is in the car, he starts hockey tonight
NO ONE BUT ME HAS LOOKED FOR THESE KEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's been waiting for this new session of hockey to start for a month and a half.
NO ONE BUT ME HAS LOOKED FOR THESE KEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's been waiting for this new session of hockey to start for a month and a half.
Now, I'm sure he was aware that the equipment was locked in the car .. he knows he is going to need it ... and well, he has had a month and a half to get it out. What the heck
I'd hold him accountable and make him responsible ..
as I waltzed out the door to go do something nice for myself .. I'd look back over my shoulder and announce .. Oh, by the way .. your going to need to find the keys to the car so you can get your equipment out .. so and so has an extra set if you can't find the ones here ... his number is posted on the refridge .. smile real pretty, say tata .. and head on out.
Plug your ears and head for the hills ... don't let the vortex suck you back in.
jmho,
Passion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
And this is your problem, why? I agree with the above. I would let him deal with it, but I am not you and you are going to do what you are going to do. Sometimes I think we analyze things too much. Which choice feels better to you and then do it. Hugs, Marle
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Rahsue,
If it would make you feel better to retrieve the keys then do it. For me I would tell my son that I called AAA and for him to wait for them I'll be back later. When AAA comes he can get the equipment out and so be it.
You know procrastinating is not just something addicts do. I know many people who put things off until the last minute and they don't have an addiciton bone in their body.
When it is the addict we tend to over analyse the situation. I say if you can open the car then open the car.
If it would make you feel better to retrieve the keys then do it. For me I would tell my son that I called AAA and for him to wait for them I'll be back later. When AAA comes he can get the equipment out and so be it.
You know procrastinating is not just something addicts do. I know many people who put things off until the last minute and they don't have an addiciton bone in their body.
When it is the addict we tend to over analyse the situation. I say if you can open the car then open the car.
remember to breathe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
well here's what I did....
I went and got the keys, put the equipment in MY trunk and pretending I knew nothing.
Unfortunately he called the mechanic to get the keys and the creep told him I did it already. My son said "good one mom" lol
I went and got the keys, put the equipment in MY trunk and pretending I knew nothing.
Unfortunately he called the mechanic to get the keys and the creep told him I did it already. My son said "good one mom" lol
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