jen960

Amazing how things go. It has been a challenging time recently. My AH that I left has now finally become remorseful and is very sad at losing his wife and baby. He is going to get help and wants us back together as a family. We have been getting on great (via phone calls between USA and New Zealand!) but somehow now thinks that I should be returning back there and has started his "poor me" routine. He seems to forget that he was meant to get help and get his life together BEFORE we attempt any reconciliation. I am happy to say that I am not listening to the words of best intentions anymore and need to see consistent behavioural change over time. It is so nice to be out of the chaos.

Thankyou for all your posts. I just keep coming back!

Ann

You sound like you are in a good place with all this, Jen, and I know it isn't always as easy as it sounds.

Taking care of you and your child are more important than anything else, right now.

I really hope he does well with this. Recovery takes time and does not happen overnight or in a week or in a month. It just takes enough time until it becomes a way of living and not just something they are "doing".

Hugs

sleepygoat

You are right to not run right over there. let him demonstrate that he is capable of stayng clean for a year (ask to see the NA 1 year medallion!) and then, if you still want to, you two can talk about it. (easier said that done, on many counts, I know).

Babs

You go girl! So many of us have melted the first time they made that promise..... So many of us have gotten on that roller coaster again and again without learning that words alone mean nothing.

I wish I had been as smart as you.....

Mwah!
Babs

hope213

your recovery is shining. it takes a lot of time for the addict to work their program & for us to work ours. it pays off for us in the long run. the addict needs to prove themself. we do not need to have a front row seat in all of it.sending prayers up for you & your husband.

kj21

Good for you!! I have nothing to add, great advice and words above me. I needed to hear that too. Time, time time. If he means it, you'll know when the time is right~or not.

mooselips

Aw Jen,
You're doing great.
Maybe when his actions, and not words show he's serious...then you'll get a good idea of how serious he is about seeking help.


Hugs,