BayAreaPhoenix

Hi all. Well, I've been reading and reading and soaking it all in. It finally settled into my "bones", so to speak, that with or without the pain killers (opiates - codeine and probably vicodin), nothing is ever going to change because he (AH) isn't going to do anything about "recovering". He'll do what he can about his depression because it's about him and making him feel better, but nothing about accountability or personal responsibility for where and how our marriage got to where it did. At this point he is still squatting in the house, and strongly feels that everything in that house, including the house, is all his. That's it, it's all his. That is the world he would like to believe. I live in CA, so regardless of whether I worked or not, or ate bon bons all day or not, legally half is mine, however - the fact is I have always worked and I have always done more than my "fair share" so it really tweaks my beak, but I realized finally, that it doesn't matter. I cannot make him reasonable. He will not be rational. He may or may not be off his DOC, but he has "stinking thinking" and nothing, except himself, is going to change that. It's very possible that all this is going to have to go legal as I don't think he has the money to buy me out, I'm trying to get the money together to buy him out, but I think he's just going to keep holding out, keep trying to force his reality that it's all his and I should just be grateful for anything and I will just keep taking this the next step and the next. I am ready. Today I am finally ready. I thank you all and I'm going to keep reading, but I also wanted to pass on a book title that I think many of you know about, but for those that don't, a small book, but very coherent and helpful is "Addictive Thinking" by A. Twerski. I stumbled across this book over the holidays and truly wish I had known about it months ago, it would have really helped me in educating myself - in addition to AlAnon, NA and my therapy. So, wish me luck, any helpful suggestions on how to deal with a stinky thinker are very very welcome. I'm ready, but still a little unsure of exactly how I'm going to do this, I just know I'm going to. Please know, if you're struggling right now, it's true what they say, keep going to your meetings, keep reading, keep plugging along, even when it feels like you're "not getting it", you will, and once you do, you'll find you still have so much more to get, but you will do it! It's all good stuff!