thanks to all -- you really helped me yesterday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Hinsdale, Illinois
Posts: 19
thanks to all -- you really helped me yesterday
Thanks JT, Eyesopen, Ann, Margo, Daffodil, Liddy, EmotionalMeg, Petunia & Jojo: I can only say I am extremely grateful to you for listening and understanding. And to all of the other people whose posts I read yesterday -- just hearing I'm not alone in this lifted my spirits a bit.
I went out and bought the book "Codependent No More" and started reading it last night. Yes yes yes, its all there I'm in there too. I took my 9 yr old daughter to her dance class last night, and she wanted to go to the bookstore with me, so we made it fun. She skipped throught the aisles, touched all the interesting books, chose "The Lord of the Rings" and we must have opened and examined every writing journal at Barnes & Noble! She loves books and I allowed myself to share that moment with her. I didn't worry about when her father was coming home, what mood he'd be in (and its been a bad mood just about every day anyway). I just enjoyed being in the bookstore, and actually buying something meaningful for myself, something fun for my daughter, and not letting anxiety ruin my ENTIRE day.
Found an Alanon meeting near my home that meets on friday morning, so I'll be there. I even called an ad in the paper for a receptionist job at a health and fitness center nearby. Since I'm neither healthy or fit
I wonder what my chances are of getting the job, but it feels good to know I can possibly find a part time job. There's probably other jobs out there too, maybe with better hours for me, so I'll keep looking. Just conquering the fear of picking up the phone and saying "hey, is the job still open" was a lot for me. I've been out of the paid workforce for a while, and I'm surprised at how intimidated I am at going back.
Thanks to all of you. I have a candle that I've been lighting each day for the past month so I could have the courage to write my m.a. thesis which was an overwhelming problem for me -- i just let the work pile up and I couldn't overcome my fear of failure, my fear of never finishing it! So I prayed (and me a former atheist!!!). Little steps, and yes some support from a tough professor, and it began to take shape, a page or two a day. Anyway, when my husband suddenly decided to quit using and stop speaking to me, and being nasty in other ways, I was angry with God for sabotaging me. Hey God, I prayed, it worked, now gimme the thesis and keep the peace at home!! I see that I wanted an OUTCOME, and wasn't letting go. DARN!!!! Anyway, I began to relight the candle yesterday. I can't stop a disaster, yet I worry relentlessly about all the what ifs . . .
Thank you all for being the light for me yesterday. I'll definitely be back. Each of you are wonderful and wise, and you helped me help myself, my kids, have a decent day. I know my husband is suffering too, so maybe it helped him somehow too.
Love and hugs,
Candlelight
I went out and bought the book "Codependent No More" and started reading it last night. Yes yes yes, its all there I'm in there too. I took my 9 yr old daughter to her dance class last night, and she wanted to go to the bookstore with me, so we made it fun. She skipped throught the aisles, touched all the interesting books, chose "The Lord of the Rings" and we must have opened and examined every writing journal at Barnes & Noble! She loves books and I allowed myself to share that moment with her. I didn't worry about when her father was coming home, what mood he'd be in (and its been a bad mood just about every day anyway). I just enjoyed being in the bookstore, and actually buying something meaningful for myself, something fun for my daughter, and not letting anxiety ruin my ENTIRE day.
Found an Alanon meeting near my home that meets on friday morning, so I'll be there. I even called an ad in the paper for a receptionist job at a health and fitness center nearby. Since I'm neither healthy or fit
I wonder what my chances are of getting the job, but it feels good to know I can possibly find a part time job. There's probably other jobs out there too, maybe with better hours for me, so I'll keep looking. Just conquering the fear of picking up the phone and saying "hey, is the job still open" was a lot for me. I've been out of the paid workforce for a while, and I'm surprised at how intimidated I am at going back. Thanks to all of you. I have a candle that I've been lighting each day for the past month so I could have the courage to write my m.a. thesis which was an overwhelming problem for me -- i just let the work pile up and I couldn't overcome my fear of failure, my fear of never finishing it! So I prayed (and me a former atheist!!!). Little steps, and yes some support from a tough professor, and it began to take shape, a page or two a day. Anyway, when my husband suddenly decided to quit using and stop speaking to me, and being nasty in other ways, I was angry with God for sabotaging me. Hey God, I prayed, it worked, now gimme the thesis and keep the peace at home!! I see that I wanted an OUTCOME, and wasn't letting go. DARN!!!! Anyway, I began to relight the candle yesterday. I can't stop a disaster, yet I worry relentlessly about all the what ifs . . .
Thank you all for being the light for me yesterday. I'll definitely be back. Each of you are wonderful and wise, and you helped me help myself, my kids, have a decent day. I know my husband is suffering too, so maybe it helped him somehow too.
Love and hugs,
Candlelight
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Candlelight
I am cheering for you and hopping up and down.
When we can stop for a moment and take a good thought and put it into action....we are on our way to recovery. Yesterday sounds like a wonderful day with your daughter and a win win situation for both of you.
Isn't that book amazing??? People told me to get it many months before I actually did. I walked into a bookstore one day, looking for something else, and literally knocked over the display of "Codependent No More". Do you suppose God was giving me a sign LOL.
Keep looking at all the beauty in your life, smell the roses and keep your hands off the thorns.
I'm happy that you are feeling better.
I am cheering for you and hopping up and down.
When we can stop for a moment and take a good thought and put it into action....we are on our way to recovery. Yesterday sounds like a wonderful day with your daughter and a win win situation for both of you.
Isn't that book amazing??? People told me to get it many months before I actually did. I walked into a bookstore one day, looking for something else, and literally knocked over the display of "Codependent No More". Do you suppose God was giving me a sign LOL.
Keep looking at all the beauty in your life, smell the roses and keep your hands off the thorns.
I'm happy that you are feeling better.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Candlelight - WOW!!! Break out the pom poms! Your post gave me such a good feeling and I've got a big smile on my face. What a difference a day can make! I'm so happy you had such a good time with your daughter yesterday - that's exactly what it's about - just going and doing for YOU and enjoying every minute of it no matter what. SO proud of you!
Please keep coming back!
Love and hugs.
Please keep coming back!
Love and hugs.
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
Hi again Candlelight,
That is so wonderful for you!
I found this site a great help as well - still do!
Hopefully you'll take the opportunity to do more stuff with your children, or just for you - the peace of mind and the serenity of finding ways to ENJOY your life, make it all worth it. We are NOT helpless at all
Keep coming back and sharing with us!
Meg
That is so wonderful for you!
I found this site a great help as well - still do!
Hopefully you'll take the opportunity to do more stuff with your children, or just for you - the peace of mind and the serenity of finding ways to ENJOY your life, make it all worth it. We are NOT helpless at all
Keep coming back and sharing with us!
Meg
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
candlelight
Thank you candlelight for sharing your victories with us...
One of things I really need to hear is that people are doing something to recover....So many times I hear how bad it got or is and then nothing, no, I am better, no ,this is what I am doing.
It seems to me that part of the courage thing is to do these things in life that are scarely....Simply 'cause I am scared doesn't mean I am in a bad situaltion...sometimes it simply means I am in an unfamilar place in my life....I choose to go forward rather than back even through that is the knee jerk reaction on my part...
I am so happy for you....I am sending you lovely thoughts ....
One of things I really need to hear is that people are doing something to recover....So many times I hear how bad it got or is and then nothing, no, I am better, no ,this is what I am doing.
It seems to me that part of the courage thing is to do these things in life that are scarely....Simply 'cause I am scared doesn't mean I am in a bad situaltion...sometimes it simply means I am in an unfamilar place in my life....I choose to go forward rather than back even through that is the knee jerk reaction on my part...
I am so happy for you....I am sending you lovely thoughts ....
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