Treasure2Find

This is what powerless looks like. The picture below was taken when I was 18 years old. I really wasn’t into anything illegal and I was in my senior year of high school. I found it pretty difficult to say sober and off of cocaine during the day and when competing. In between classes and study periods I would sneak out to my car for a few pulls of JackDanials or for a taste of whatever I had. The teachers knew but considering the size of me there wasn’t many people that would challenge me. I had to diet for 12 weeks for all my contests. Obviously dieting and alcohol don’t really mix to well. I was able to stay sober for 11 weeks until I started thinking I wasn’t good enough to win. Full of self pity I grabbed some booze and a 1/16 of cocaine; suddenly I was good enough to win.

I had like an internal war going on thinking I could somehow control all the drinking and stuff. Talk about living a lie but I didn’t know that I didn’t know.

I completely blew my diet but figured I would go anyway after all I paid the entrance fee. There were a lot of big names at the competition and was disappointed I blew my diet. I competed and placed 4th. After the show Mr. America and some of his photographers came back stage to meet me. What an honor it was for me to shake this guys hand let alone been given the chance to train with him. He wanted to train with me and help me along; he said although I didn’t win the contest I had more potential than anyone up there. They took all kinds of photos and they asked if they could put my picture in some of the muscle magazines that were out.

http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/g...1/scan0001.jpg

So this is what powerless looks like. I thought that I was different; I thought I didn’t have a problem? I was a star on the rise, a star on the rise that was drowning in booze. Funny thing is one of the people I worked out with from time to time was in AA. One night after a few hours in the gym this guy asked me if I would go to a meeting with him. I told him to **** off and that he should MYOB. As I walked to my car to get my baseball bat he said that I was so sick that I didn’t even know it. I compeated one more time and placed 2nd compleatly out of control. 11 years later I realized my training partner was right I didn’t know that I didn’t know.

What does powerless look like for you???

Treasure2Find

To late to Edit. I just realized I left out the best part. That baseball Bat got me convicted and I was sentenced to one year. During that year while in county jail I finally won my first contest, got my name on a wall.

When I hit 25 I was living and working for my drug dealer. I woke up one Saturday morning cracked a beer and did my best to stop my nose from bleeding. Turned on the television and saw one of my workout partners on TV wrestling(WWF). Somehow I think the TV was telling me that I wasted my life.

I shrugged it off and said that guy was a punk and that I was better than him. This is what powerless looks like.........

Jersey Nonny

Well, I actually looked pretty good on the outside...but, I was dying from the inside out. Don't have a photo of it, although I can still "picture" the feeling...it's indelibly printed, and I hope I never forget it.

Alive

I'm just happy we all made it. I know i've come a long way, and i am proud of all of us....

Captain Kirk

Interesting story. Thanks for sharing. It's nice to be able to put a face to you now aswell.
Thanks buddy. :ghug3