Just kick me...
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Just kick me...
So I did something that will most likely bring out the frying pans (way past bunny slippers)
The story (oh there's always one of those, huh?):
Son has a checking account, but is not so good with keeping track. In fact he stinks at it. A few days before Christmas, he made some purchases. But that evening, a check that was outstanding for quite some time came rolling in, one that he hadn't logged. The bank, the kind people that they are bounced the check first, then proceeded to bounce the purchases. So, son deposits his paycheck, figures everything is taken care of, but didn't take into account that they didn't pay the darn things then charge him, they returned them this time. SO in comes the same charges and check, round two, eats his entire paycheck again and they're still out there floating.
He asked me to help him figure it out. It seems that $140 (check and withdrawals) have now amounted to $500 + in bank fees, and they are STILL out there.
He went to the bank yesterday asking for help. The broad handed him a registry and told him to start keeping track.
SO I called the hotline today asking for a few answers:
Well, in todays banking world the following apply:
Electronic transactions can re-present as long as it takes to clear them. This can happen everyday, day after day at $35 a hit. Checks will only present three times, but the establishment can debit your account electronically for their return charges on top of the banks.
As it stood this morning, son had deposited $650 in a weeks time ( 2 paychecks), to try and cover the $140, and is currently still overdrawn.
He is not using the card...this is all spinning out of control day to day with the fees.
By the time he gets paid on Thursday, there stands a good chance that an additional $400 will have been charged by the bank, with the debits still floating.
So what do you think I did?
I threw some cash in there to try and stop the madness.
I know, I know, I should've stayed out of it, but come on...this is a racket and a cruel one. I would think he's learned his lesson from the bank pummeling him with fees already.
Am I angry?...you bet, but at several people the banking industry included.
Should I have said "Thank heavens that hasn't happened to me?" and stayed out of it?...yep.
But I just couldn't stand back and see it plummet further.
The bank manager and I will be talking soon...I bank there...I think this practice is horrible. No wonder people keep money in their mattress.
Be gentle please
The story (oh there's always one of those, huh?):
Son has a checking account, but is not so good with keeping track. In fact he stinks at it. A few days before Christmas, he made some purchases. But that evening, a check that was outstanding for quite some time came rolling in, one that he hadn't logged. The bank, the kind people that they are bounced the check first, then proceeded to bounce the purchases. So, son deposits his paycheck, figures everything is taken care of, but didn't take into account that they didn't pay the darn things then charge him, they returned them this time. SO in comes the same charges and check, round two, eats his entire paycheck again and they're still out there floating.
He asked me to help him figure it out. It seems that $140 (check and withdrawals) have now amounted to $500 + in bank fees, and they are STILL out there.
He went to the bank yesterday asking for help. The broad handed him a registry and told him to start keeping track.
SO I called the hotline today asking for a few answers:
Well, in todays banking world the following apply:
Electronic transactions can re-present as long as it takes to clear them. This can happen everyday, day after day at $35 a hit. Checks will only present three times, but the establishment can debit your account electronically for their return charges on top of the banks.
As it stood this morning, son had deposited $650 in a weeks time ( 2 paychecks), to try and cover the $140, and is currently still overdrawn.
He is not using the card...this is all spinning out of control day to day with the fees.
By the time he gets paid on Thursday, there stands a good chance that an additional $400 will have been charged by the bank, with the debits still floating.
So what do you think I did?
I threw some cash in there to try and stop the madness.
I know, I know, I should've stayed out of it, but come on...this is a racket and a cruel one. I would think he's learned his lesson from the bank pummeling him with fees already.
Am I angry?...you bet, but at several people the banking industry included.
Should I have said "Thank heavens that hasn't happened to me?" and stayed out of it?...yep.
But I just couldn't stand back and see it plummet further.
The bank manager and I will be talking soon...I bank there...I think this practice is horrible. No wonder people keep money in their mattress.
Be gentle please
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
If our parents don't help us when we mess up, then for most of us we don't have anyone else.
I accidentally bounced a 15 dollar check years ago to a Grocery Story that cost me over 800 by the time they (grocery store) sent me to a check restitution 8 hour class.
The lady who taught the class said in her opinion you should beg, borrow or steal to get that money in the bank, "Before" they get to you because what they do to you and the things she has seen are an outright "Crime".
Hopefully he will learn his lesson this time. But it is an easy thing to do. it really is.
My mom would much rather help me out and teach me how to not do it again, than watch me go broke, pay the bank, and still not understand what I'm doing wrong.
That's when you get that attitude of screw it, I don't care, cuz I can't do it.
I think you are just being a Mom.
We are never too old to need our Mom's help.
The bank is smarter than him remember, and it's "Set Up" to go after people like
him to get all their money, that's how they stay in business.
I've had friends who work there say that's what they tell them.
I don't think think you did anything wrong.
Your just being a Mom and trying to help and teach her son to do better.
I accidentally bounced a 15 dollar check years ago to a Grocery Story that cost me over 800 by the time they (grocery store) sent me to a check restitution 8 hour class.
The lady who taught the class said in her opinion you should beg, borrow or steal to get that money in the bank, "Before" they get to you because what they do to you and the things she has seen are an outright "Crime".
Hopefully he will learn his lesson this time. But it is an easy thing to do. it really is.
My mom would much rather help me out and teach me how to not do it again, than watch me go broke, pay the bank, and still not understand what I'm doing wrong.
That's when you get that attitude of screw it, I don't care, cuz I can't do it.
I think you are just being a Mom.
We are never too old to need our Mom's help.
The bank is smarter than him remember, and it's "Set Up" to go after people like
him to get all their money, that's how they stay in business.
I've had friends who work there say that's what they tell them.
I don't think think you did anything wrong.
Your just being a Mom and trying to help and teach her son to do better.
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
(((Done)))
A big part of me needed to hear that hon.
I would not hesitate to do the same for my youngest, who tends to be responsible. I his case I would know it was a mistake.
This one however, has burned his last bridge I'm afraid.
But I did what I believe needed done under the cirucmstances.
Thanks Done
(((Hugs)))
A big part of me needed to hear that hon.
I would not hesitate to do the same for my youngest, who tends to be responsible. I his case I would know it was a mistake.
This one however, has burned his last bridge I'm afraid.
But I did what I believe needed done under the cirucmstances.
Thanks Done
(((Hugs)))
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Cece,
If anyone kicks you .. then they can kick me too .. because I would have done the same thing as you.
(closing eyes and bracing) Kick away!!! LOL
******{Hugs}}}}
Passion
If anyone kicks you .. then they can kick me too .. because I would have done the same thing as you.
(closing eyes and bracing) Kick away!!! LOL
******{Hugs}}}}
Passion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Cece, After you help him out, maybe look for a bank that does not have so many fees. I belong to a credit union that does not charge all of the fees that your bank seems to charge. And maybe tell him this is a one time bail-out and he needs to learn his lesson because the next time you won't be there. That way you can feel good about helping him and protect yourself in the future. Hugs, Marle
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Cece,
I would have done the same. Yep, for sure.
That in no way constitutes enabling ya know, it doesn't...
It comes once again under the Codie Manual...Page 29, paragraph 6, which reads...well, here, read it for yourself:
Any mama who gives a child, whatever funds to help alleviate the monetary banking transaction madness, is just doing what mama's do, on occasion.
See?
(thanks Ann for passing on the Manual...LOL)
I would have done the same. Yep, for sure.
That in no way constitutes enabling ya know, it doesn't...
It comes once again under the Codie Manual...Page 29, paragraph 6, which reads...well, here, read it for yourself:
Any mama who gives a child, whatever funds to help alleviate the monetary banking transaction madness, is just doing what mama's do, on occasion.
See?
(thanks Ann for passing on the Manual...LOL)
StrivingToThrive
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
I would be afraid to kick you because I would get kicked back. 
Such a hard line for us. With addicts, things we would do w/o addiction in the picture are so analyzed. Trying to decide to help or stay out is as obsessive as enabling. Sigh.
The same thing happened to my son, but I didn't know about it till a year later. $200. turned into $1100. by the time my son told me about it. He tried to talk to the Credit Union about it w/o much progress. It would have helped if he hadn't ignored it for so long. W/O telling my son I called also. Long story shortened, the bill was cut in half. still way over the initial charges. the account had to be closed and it took him awhile to pay it off. I did decide that the whole process was a learning experience. So I was okay with what I did.
I'm not an addict and i bounced a few checks when I was first starting out. I was notified immediately and the fees were reasonable. It is a different world with so much fraud. It is a common problem for people to open an account just to write as many checks as they can before they are stopped.
In my HO, I think as the mature adult, it is okay to help him through this if he is trying to make it right.
good Luck,
Cathy
Such a hard line for us. With addicts, things we would do w/o addiction in the picture are so analyzed. Trying to decide to help or stay out is as obsessive as enabling. Sigh.The same thing happened to my son, but I didn't know about it till a year later. $200. turned into $1100. by the time my son told me about it. He tried to talk to the Credit Union about it w/o much progress. It would have helped if he hadn't ignored it for so long. W/O telling my son I called also. Long story shortened, the bill was cut in half. still way over the initial charges. the account had to be closed and it took him awhile to pay it off. I did decide that the whole process was a learning experience. So I was okay with what I did.
I'm not an addict and i bounced a few checks when I was first starting out. I was notified immediately and the fees were reasonable. It is a different world with so much fraud. It is a common problem for people to open an account just to write as many checks as they can before they are stopped.
In my HO, I think as the mature adult, it is okay to help him through this if he is trying to make it right.
good Luck,
Cathy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Originally Posted by mooselips 
It comes once again under the Codie Manual...Page 29, paragraph 6, which reads...well, here, read it for yourself:
Any mama who gives a child, whatever funds to help alleviate the monetary banking transaction madness, is just doing what mama's do, on occasion.
Any mama who gives a child, whatever funds to help alleviate the monetary banking transaction madness, is just doing what mama's do, on occasion.
I'll pencil it in...
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Any mama who gives a child, whatever funds to help alleviate the monetary banking transaction madness, is just doing what mama's do, on occasion.
I have this engraved on a dogtag I wear around my neck...I'm with you on this Cece.... Your son tried to fix this himself the first time...can't help it if the banking world is so insensitive.
No way would I let my daughter have to take out a $10,000 loan to stop bank fees for a bounced check mistake. Although the monetary consequences weren't as severe since we nipped it on day one, I loaned her $20 towards covering overdraft fees so she could close out the joint account she had with exboyfriend from H*** when he withdrew virtually all the money but "forgot" to transfer his automatic withdrawal for some bill and that started the cycle. Since her name was on the account, she would have been held responsible as well for his (intentional) irresponsibility. (yikes; thought i got over resenting him for the cruel things he did to her, but I guess I still have work to do)
So if there are kicks, kick me too (geez we're gonna have such a lineup, lol) I despise what banks are allowed to do...There are far too many people who must live paycheck to paycheck in our society and these practices border on criminal IMHO. The same with charging the customer a monthly fee for a savings account if it falls under a certain threshold...come on...charge *me* to keep *my* money??? Hugs
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
YOU are NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!!!
Who calls me today but my bank...just a courtesy call for feedback on how they're doing since I'm such a valued customer.
He never saw it coming :uzi2:
I was so tempted to use Hangin's (Well bless your heart" ) lol
In my sweetest and most financially mature voice I explained why I was VERY unhappy with their practices, ones that I was not aware of until my son made an error and is now paying dearly with no end in sight.
When he said the branch can help out I told him how son was treated and that while I'm sure he, or I, would have had a pleasant conversation to rectify the matter, a 22 y/o construction worker is hardly worth their time.
I also mentioned that should this continue, I would likely be taking my business to a bank with fair practices (do they exist? Hadn't really thought that one through) even though I was always pleased with my banking, and understandably they love me with their zero tolerance policy for error.
He was silent, then kind, and recommended I pursue it with the manager and further if necessary. He also reminded me that the conversation was being recorded, and that occasionally, at the request of the caller, someone listens.
I'll bet he was sorry he asked huh?
HP sent me a little tickle I think :rof
Who calls me today but my bank...just a courtesy call for feedback on how they're doing since I'm such a valued customer.
He never saw it coming :uzi2:
I was so tempted to use Hangin's (Well bless your heart" ) lol
In my sweetest and most financially mature voice I explained why I was VERY unhappy with their practices, ones that I was not aware of until my son made an error and is now paying dearly with no end in sight.
When he said the branch can help out I told him how son was treated and that while I'm sure he, or I, would have had a pleasant conversation to rectify the matter, a 22 y/o construction worker is hardly worth their time.
I also mentioned that should this continue, I would likely be taking my business to a bank with fair practices (do they exist? Hadn't really thought that one through) even though I was always pleased with my banking, and understandably they love me with their zero tolerance policy for error.
He was silent, then kind, and recommended I pursue it with the manager and further if necessary. He also reminded me that the conversation was being recorded, and that occasionally, at the request of the caller, someone listens.
I'll bet he was sorry he asked huh?
HP sent me a little tickle I think :rof
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
G*D WORKS!!! 
You did nothing wrong, cece. I would have done the same thing, because it is the banking industry that is doing the wrong here. SHAME ON THEM AND OUR GOVERNMENT THAT ALLOWS IT!!!
I'm sorry your son had to deal with this. There is enough heartache and pressure with addiction. And I'm sorry *you* had to deal with it too!
But, the silver lining is this...we have ALL gotten the chance to learn from his unfortunate experience. Thank you for that!
Shalom, my friend....shalom!
You did nothing wrong, cece. I would have done the same thing, because it is the banking industry that is doing the wrong here. SHAME ON THEM AND OUR GOVERNMENT THAT ALLOWS IT!!!
I'm sorry your son had to deal with this. There is enough heartache and pressure with addiction. And I'm sorry *you* had to deal with it too!
But, the silver lining is this...we have ALL gotten the chance to learn from his unfortunate experience. Thank you for that!
Shalom, my friend....shalom!
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I have left banking institutions over this issue. And they don't really care.
What I have discovered (at least in MY state) is that credit unions operate under a different set of rules, and each customer is a MEMBER.... customer service is a value, and EVERYONE is a customer - not just the industrial giants who take out million dollar loans.
I have had my credit union refund up to 6 or 7 overdraft fees....more than once. And we aren't even talking my kids, here - it was me!!!
Cece - you did the right thing. You are still doing the right thing. Your son deserves better - and perhaps a little letter to the editor in your hometown might add some grease to the wheels .... or a local call-in radio program. Or even spend the $500 on an ad in your local paper.
Squeak.... LOUD! There is absolutely no reason to treat you the way they have. The lesson was learned with the first fee... the others are just bullying.
(((hugs)))
Crap. I am sitting here fuming!! And you and he are hundreds of miles away!! I sooooo identify with this one.
(((big hugs, friend)))
What I have discovered (at least in MY state) is that credit unions operate under a different set of rules, and each customer is a MEMBER.... customer service is a value, and EVERYONE is a customer - not just the industrial giants who take out million dollar loans.
I have had my credit union refund up to 6 or 7 overdraft fees....more than once. And we aren't even talking my kids, here - it was me!!!
Cece - you did the right thing. You are still doing the right thing. Your son deserves better - and perhaps a little letter to the editor in your hometown might add some grease to the wheels .... or a local call-in radio program. Or even spend the $500 on an ad in your local paper.
Squeak.... LOUD! There is absolutely no reason to treat you the way they have. The lesson was learned with the first fee... the others are just bullying.
(((hugs)))
Crap. I am sitting here fuming!! And you and he are hundreds of miles away!! I sooooo identify with this one.
(((big hugs, friend)))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 60
That is awful that banks can do that. Seems like added stress that a person in recovery can do without. And I think it's great when parents are there. My husbands rarely were and I think that has a part in his problems today. (I know he is an adult that makes his own decisions, but having a positive supportive background may have helped)
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Miss Pink - a consequence is one thing. Piling up fees upon fees so that over $500 paid to cover $140 is not a consequence - it is bad behavior on the part of the institution. They treated Cece1960 badly and they are bullys.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Originally Posted by BigSis
Miss Pink - a consequence is one thing. Piling up fees upon fees so that over $500 paid to cover $140 is not a consequence - it is bad behavior on the part of the institution. They treated Cece1960 badly and they are bullys.
I have to agree Big Sis. My 15.00 check ordeal, was not my fault. I deposited my check BEFORE I went to the store, but they said on the ATM at the grocery store there was a 'sign' saying it had to be in before 6pm. There was not. I even took pictures showing them, sent them in, took them to the Branch Manager.
It did "not" matter.
Like I said the lady of the Check Restitution Program even says what they do to people is a crime.
B of A and Wells Fargo, are known as being the top two worst.
The fees and things are they do are horrendous to people.
My Mom would never let me deal with that on my own. To me that would be the crime....
You can learn a lesson also by not looking both ways when you cross the street, doesn't mean your Mom isn't going to grab you if your going to get hit by a car, and say,
Sorry You got hit by a car, your father and I told you to look both ways, you dumb kid.
Come on now.....
:ghug
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Crap. I am sitting here fuming!! And you and he are hundreds of miles away!! I sooooo identify with this one.
Cece, I'm glad HP gave you that opportunity...Coincidence? I think not.
it is bad behavior on the part of the institution. They treated Cece1960 badly and they are bullys.
You can learn a lesson also by not looking both ways when you cross the street, doesn't mean your Mom isn't going to grab you if your going to get hit by a car, and say,
Sorry You got hit by a car, your father and I told you to look both ways, you dumb kid.
Sorry You got hit by a car, your father and I told you to look both ways, you dumb kid.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: north carolina
Posts: 139
hey cece...i just wanted to add i think you did a "MOM" thing. not an enabling thing!!! i would of done the same thing as well. as a matter of fact my mom did it for me recently!! someone wrote me a bad check. and with me missing so much work my account was teeter low already. it caused me to bounce checks. i had 500.00 worth of bad check fees. i was lucky enough that the bank covered the checks i had written.~~but if it hadn't been for my momma~~(gotta LOVE mommas!!) i don't know how i would of gotten out of that hole....btw...i have a 'personal banker' person....haha...what do they do again?
i'm with ya on this one....S
i'm with ya on this one....S
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Cece you did what any mother would do.
Might I suggest you and your son look around for a Credit Union. I have my monies in a credit union and I have overdraft protection on my checking account, and if a debit charge comes in before I get a chance to get on line and transfer funds from my savings, they just transfer funds from my savings. If there is not enough in savings at the moment, then they pay it and do charge an 'overdraft charge' but do not bounce the charge or check back.
Credit unions are great that way!!!!
Miss Done you are so correct. Wells Fargo and B of A, are absolutely the TWO WORST BANKS for charging their customers as many fees as they can.
Again Cece I do believe you did the correct thing in this situation.!!!!!
Love and hugs,
Might I suggest you and your son look around for a Credit Union. I have my monies in a credit union and I have overdraft protection on my checking account, and if a debit charge comes in before I get a chance to get on line and transfer funds from my savings, they just transfer funds from my savings. If there is not enough in savings at the moment, then they pay it and do charge an 'overdraft charge' but do not bounce the charge or check back.
Credit unions are great that way!!!!
Miss Done you are so correct. Wells Fargo and B of A, are absolutely the TWO WORST BANKS for charging their customers as many fees as they can.
Again Cece I do believe you did the correct thing in this situation.!!!!!
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Cece...
No frying pan or bunny slippers from me. Nope. I've been thru this type of insanity with my bank too. When things were really bad with my exah financially, I probably paid thousands of dollars in NSF fees to our bank. What starts out as a $20 shortage in your acct can quickly snowball into hundreds of dollars. Its just plain theivery if you ask me.
Its no different than the credit card companies who can decide to unilaterally raise your interest rates for reasons completely unrelated to the way you handle your acct with them. I just had one of my credit card companies try to raise my interest rate to nearly 30%. For some strange reason, I actually stopped to read the small print notice that they sent out with my bill which said if I didn't contact them and close the acct, they would assume I was okay with this increase and charge me accordingly. I got on the phone and gave them a piece of my mind and closed the damn acct. I'll pay it off as soon as I can and I"ll never do business with them again. Congress is considering a law that outlaws this practice. Whats wrong with these companies? How greedy must they be?
Anywho...I went off on a tangent...but BOY does this topic get to me !!
Hugs to you cece. You didn't mess up... Your son learned a valuable (and costly) lesson but enough is enough sometimes !!
Hugs...
No frying pan or bunny slippers from me. Nope. I've been thru this type of insanity with my bank too. When things were really bad with my exah financially, I probably paid thousands of dollars in NSF fees to our bank. What starts out as a $20 shortage in your acct can quickly snowball into hundreds of dollars. Its just plain theivery if you ask me.
Its no different than the credit card companies who can decide to unilaterally raise your interest rates for reasons completely unrelated to the way you handle your acct with them. I just had one of my credit card companies try to raise my interest rate to nearly 30%. For some strange reason, I actually stopped to read the small print notice that they sent out with my bill which said if I didn't contact them and close the acct, they would assume I was okay with this increase and charge me accordingly. I got on the phone and gave them a piece of my mind and closed the damn acct. I'll pay it off as soon as I can and I"ll never do business with them again. Congress is considering a law that outlaws this practice. Whats wrong with these companies? How greedy must they be?
Anywho...I went off on a tangent...but BOY does this topic get to me !!
Hugs to you cece. You didn't mess up... Your son learned a valuable (and costly) lesson but enough is enough sometimes !!
Hugs...
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