sadgirl25

Hi guys. I just wanted to check in with you as I feel bad that I haven't said anything since you sent some lovely replies to my introductory thread. I have just got broadband in my flat so can now get on here at home. I have only been renting this flat since 7th December and only been in it full time on my own without people staying over and stuff since 1st Jan so am trying to settle in. It is weird living by myself. I am used to living away from home when I was at uni but then I was living with 3 or 4 guys in a shared house, one of which was my boyfriend. As I am still waiting for him to get back to me about where we stand with our relationship it feels very strange having to keep myself occupied. I have been back at work and started teaching again which has helped and met with friends for lunch and had one come over to see me today on my day off but its still hard. But then I reminded myself this evening that its ok for this to be scary as having a job and supporting myself and living alone is a huge step so its ok to find it tricky. I spoke to Dad on the phone briefly today to organise to watch the Man U match tomorrow and have him on SKYPE so we can sort of be watching it together even though we are in different places. He told me that he and Mum went to an AA meeting on Wednesday and have 2 more to go to this week but that was all he said. I don't know how I feel about him telling me this. I'm sure if he didn't tell me this stuff I would feel left out but when he tells me without asking it feels uncomfortable. Any feedback greatly appreciated as you guys really know your stuff. Thinking about going to an ACOA meeting if I can make it to one near me. Happy New Year to everyone and keep going through the tough times as life will seem even better when we get out the other side. xxx

GiveLove

sadgirl,

Thanks for the update! I was hoping you were doing okay.
I remember when I first-first lived alone...it was really hard and I think I spent the first night curled up in a ball on my bed crying.

You are doing much better than I did! But it really does get better as you go along, especially if you can keep your life rich in all of the ways that count....friends, good fulfilling work, work on yourself, fun, creativity, etc.

Go reds.....

GingerM

Sadgirl,

It's good to hear from you. In all honesty, you sound like you're in a perfectly healthy spot right now. Not a happy one necessarily, but a healthy one. No healthy person would feel comfortable living on their own for the first time ever - like flying without a net, it's scary and you have every right to find it overwhelming at times. Heck, the first time I bought a car it scared the snot out of me - I'd never had a loan that big before and I was scared to death. And when I bought my first house by myself? Oy!! I was shaking so hard I had difficulty signing the paperwork.

Any big new thing that we've never done before can be scary. And fear can be beneficial to you as long as it isn't all consuming. It sounds like you're still getting out and doing things with people, so I don't think it's consuming you. You're just in that uncomfortable spot of getting used to a completely new routine/home/work routine.

Hang in there, it does get better and less awkward in a fairly short period of time!