Saying hi to you great people
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Saying hi to you great people
I wanted to let you guys know something. I’ve been guest reading for a bit, recently joined, haven’t shared my story because I mean, what’s the point? They’re all the same, and recovery is about me anyway, not my A's. But something linked me here, I believe my HP, in surfing the net and reading blogs of women who have addicted children. In the process, I had a terrible wave of recognition of my son’s addictions (I divorced his dad 3 years ago-alcoholic). I didn’t like that sadness at all, that realization of what I didn’t want to admit about my own sweet son whom I’ve been “helping” since high school. Your kids’ words are his words, your kids’ actions are his actions, but your approach to dealing with your situations was not my way of dealing with mine. Well, it is now, right now, and has been since I made that realization. I mean, I’ve done this before, several times with my ex, suddenly realizing, oh yeah, he IS an alcoholic and my life really IS awful…duh! I must be getting faster at this acceptance thing these days, because once I went through the “shock” of what-the-hell, why didn’t I see this before this? – I knew to listen up and follow the rules—Your Rules. I’m totally taking your word today as gospel., no ****. I really don’t know what-all my son is up to presently, but I do know that it’s out of my hands, and not to throw another penny his way. That was a biggie for me, but it feels so great. I finally “get it” and will continue to learn from your experience and wisdom.
This is a fabulous forum; I’ve never seen anything like it, and I find the large number of members very comforting (although that is comforting in a sick, sad way, I guess). The wisdom, feedback and support is incredible and wonderful, is what I mean to say! And reading the “dailies” is like getting a how-to handbook for free.
So thank you all for spilling your pain and allowing newcomers to be blessed by your sadness. I love realizing that it is ALWAYS through great pain that life’s lessons are truly embraced. You are spreading so much peace; perhaps you didn’t realize that. It’s a calming feeling to take back your life and detach. I’d forgotten it, but you guys are certainly helping me get my “mojo” back.
P.S.- Am I supposed to use those **** if I cuss? I admit it. I didn’t read the rules when I checked the box. And how in the world do I shrink the size of my peace sign? Sorry! It's almost obnoxious, except that it IS the peace sign and all.....
This is a fabulous forum; I’ve never seen anything like it, and I find the large number of members very comforting (although that is comforting in a sick, sad way, I guess). The wisdom, feedback and support is incredible and wonderful, is what I mean to say! And reading the “dailies” is like getting a how-to handbook for free.
So thank you all for spilling your pain and allowing newcomers to be blessed by your sadness. I love realizing that it is ALWAYS through great pain that life’s lessons are truly embraced. You are spreading so much peace; perhaps you didn’t realize that. It’s a calming feeling to take back your life and detach. I’d forgotten it, but you guys are certainly helping me get my “mojo” back.
P.S.- Am I supposed to use those **** if I cuss? I admit it. I didn’t read the rules when I checked the box. And how in the world do I shrink the size of my peace sign? Sorry! It's almost obnoxious, except that it IS the peace sign and all.....
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Hi Peace...Glad you are here! There are lots of moms here and lots of great folks who help each other walk this journey. I Imagine most of us were "lurkers" for a bit before we posted...I'm glad you have decided to chime in.
Thise "ah ha" moments where we realize we need to let our addicts find their own way are great. I keep posting here and attending Naranon so I don't slip too far backwards. The tools I have acquired help me in all aspects of my life.
Asteriks are fine...I think the system insets them sometimes too if something slips by, lol. I love your peace sign avatar just the way it is...and I stink at explaining techie stuff, so maybe someone else here can lend a hand, lol In the meantime...you're looking great! Hugs
Thise "ah ha" moments where we realize we need to let our addicts find their own way are great. I keep posting here and attending Naranon so I don't slip too far backwards. The tools I have acquired help me in all aspects of my life.
Asteriks are fine...I think the system insets them sometimes too if something slips by, lol. I love your peace sign avatar just the way it is...and I stink at explaining techie stuff, so maybe someone else here can lend a hand, lol In the meantime...you're looking great! Hugs
StrivingToThrive
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
Welcome PeaceTeach!
I have found that accepting and dealing with my son's problems is way different and harder then dealing with my spouse's. Since my son was little it was my job to take care of him. things like, "Do you have your backpack? did you get your lunch money? did you do your homework? were typical conversation during a day. Making sure he got done what needed to be done. This wasn't enabling it was parenting. And now we are told to keep our hand off and our mouths shut (arghh!)
I am recently pondering something I heard at an al-anon meeting. I said that its hard for me to talk to my son and listen as if nothing is wrong. It felt like I was telling him his life was okay. And she responded that it doesn't matter if he thinks that you think his life is okay or not okay. It matters if he thinks there is a problem. Duh!! One more lesson on this journey.
It hurts so deeply when it is our child. My prayers are with you as you start this journey. Keep coming back.
I have found that accepting and dealing with my son's problems is way different and harder then dealing with my spouse's. Since my son was little it was my job to take care of him. things like, "Do you have your backpack? did you get your lunch money? did you do your homework? were typical conversation during a day. Making sure he got done what needed to be done. This wasn't enabling it was parenting. And now we are told to keep our hand off and our mouths shut (arghh!)
I am recently pondering something I heard at an al-anon meeting. I said that its hard for me to talk to my son and listen as if nothing is wrong. It felt like I was telling him his life was okay. And she responded that it doesn't matter if he thinks that you think his life is okay or not okay. It matters if he thinks there is a problem. Duh!! One more lesson on this journey.
It hurts so deeply when it is our child. My prayers are with you as you start this journey. Keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome, peace, to our little cornor of the world. this site does have a great support system. this site saves my sanity. it is always about acceptance & that we r powerless over our addicts no matter what they do or choose to do. keep coming back ,keep reading, we r here for you as you are for us.(me) prayers,
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Welcome from a mom of 23 yr. old son.
What I have learned about myself since he has been an addict has transformed me.
I am a better person and all of my relationships are better.
I cont. to work the 12 steps of al-anon and try to practice them in all matters.
My son is much better and I am a whole lot better.
There is a silver lining here is we choose to find it.
I am so glad you are here to offer your experience, strength and hope.
What I have learned about myself since he has been an addict has transformed me.
I am a better person and all of my relationships are better.
I cont. to work the 12 steps of al-anon and try to practice them in all matters.
My son is much better and I am a whole lot better.
There is a silver lining here is we choose to find it.
I am so glad you are here to offer your experience, strength and hope.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Welcome Peace,
I have been here for 1 year and I can tell you that these wonderful people who have shared their stories of pain and recovery have literally saved my life. I don't know how you can feel so close to people that you have never met, but you can. Some days I can start thinking about someone on here and wonder how they are doing and pray for them and their A's. It's amazing what this site has done for a lot of us who struggle. Someone is always here to lift you up when you are down. Someone is always here to share in your happiness when things are going well for you. Someone is here when you can't sleep and are overcome with worry. Someone is always here to pray for you.
Someone will always be here for YOU..........the light is always on.
Hugs..............Lo
I have been here for 1 year and I can tell you that these wonderful people who have shared their stories of pain and recovery have literally saved my life. I don't know how you can feel so close to people that you have never met, but you can. Some days I can start thinking about someone on here and wonder how they are doing and pray for them and their A's. It's amazing what this site has done for a lot of us who struggle. Someone is always here to lift you up when you are down. Someone is always here to share in your happiness when things are going well for you. Someone is here when you can't sleep and are overcome with worry. Someone is always here to pray for you.
Someone will always be here for YOU..........the light is always on.
Hugs..............Lo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: north carolina
Posts: 139
((((hi peace))))
i was a 'lurker' if you will for a while to before i shared. and even though my story was pretty much the same. it was mine....everytime i come here and share, several people have already been down the road i am now traveling and have had the same or very similiar situations i am in....i listen & learn....with their guidance and experience i am learning to keep my head above water and tread a little lighter....before i was drowning with my addiction to my addicted daughter.
each day that passes, each story i tell, and each situation that arises i get a little stronger. sometimes not much stronger, but at least a little. and i have lots o'days when i actually don't feel like i have been beat with a baseball bat! lol .....i didn't used to have those!
SR has been good to/for me.
i am sure it will be for you.!!
welcome to our little world.
where people actually do understand.
i was a 'lurker' if you will for a while to before i shared. and even though my story was pretty much the same. it was mine....everytime i come here and share, several people have already been down the road i am now traveling and have had the same or very similiar situations i am in....i listen & learn....with their guidance and experience i am learning to keep my head above water and tread a little lighter....before i was drowning with my addiction to my addicted daughter.
each day that passes, each story i tell, and each situation that arises i get a little stronger. sometimes not much stronger, but at least a little. and i have lots o'days when i actually don't feel like i have been beat with a baseball bat! lol .....i didn't used to have those!
SR has been good to/for me.
i am sure it will be for you.!!
welcome to our little world.
where people actually do understand.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Welcome Peaceteach, Another mom here, addict daughter, 21. I can honestly say that this place saved my life when I was at a point of total despair. Listening and learning from those who came before me and believing that I could get what they had even when I was in deep pain gave me hope. It can get better. Hugs, Marle
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Welcome Peace,
I like the size of your Peace sign, it's like a symbol to me...like serenity!
Glad you found us, it's a great group of people here...
and I learn something new everyday! For ME!
Grab a chair, get comfy!
I like the size of your Peace sign, it's like a symbol to me...like serenity!
Glad you found us, it's a great group of people here...
and I learn something new everyday! For ME!
Grab a chair, get comfy!
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Welcome, again, Peaceteach!!! 
I just *knew* there was something about you that I related to!!! LOL!
My son is a heroin addict, now in recovery.
Don't give up before the miracle happens!!!
But, do take care of you!
Shalom!
I just *knew* there was something about you that I related to!!! LOL!
My son is a heroin addict, now in recovery.
Don't give up before the miracle happens!!!
But, do take care of you!
Shalom!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome, Peaceteach. I too am the mother of an addict who landed here quite by accident? almost 6 years ago, sort of like Dorothy in Oz but I decided to stay 
Funny how God can just steer us in the right direction.
I too was amazed to realize that not only did my son have a problem with addiction, but I too was out of control. Just not a pretty sight.
Through meetings and walking with the wonderful people here, I found a better way, a way of inner "peace" and I have never looked back.
Glad you joined us and pleased to have you walk with us on this journey.
Hugs
P.S. I "trimmed" your avatar a notch because it seemed to bother you, but I think it's a lovely sign and it suits you just fine.
Funny how God can just steer us in the right direction.I too was amazed to realize that not only did my son have a problem with addiction, but I too was out of control. Just not a pretty sight.
Through meetings and walking with the wonderful people here, I found a better way, a way of inner "peace" and I have never looked back.
Glad you joined us and pleased to have you walk with us on this journey.
Hugs
P.S. I "trimmed" your avatar a notch because it seemed to bother you, but I think it's a lovely sign and it suits you just fine.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Hey Peace,
Another mom of a recovering 25 year old daughter here.
So glad you chimed in and let us know you're around. Welcome to a the SR family. This place has had a huge positive affect on my recovery and I am so grateful for it.
I hope to see you around more. Please feel free to share anytime because that's the way we all recover. And I bet you already know that ...
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Another mom of a recovering 25 year old daughter here.
So glad you chimed in and let us know you're around. Welcome to a the SR family. This place has had a huge positive affect on my recovery and I am so grateful for it.
I hope to see you around more. Please feel free to share anytime because that's the way we all recover. And I bet you already know that ...
Hugs,
Hangin' In
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