VanessaLee13

DIDN'T HAPPEN! Haha. The meeting was supposed to be 5:30-6:30 this evening. It was in a part of town I am not too familiar with (and 45 minutes from my house! Wish there was a closer meeting!), but I found the place OK. There was a guard at the parking lot gate, who I asked about the meeting. She said, "if she shows up, there will be a meeting." I'm guessing "she" is whoever leads the group. I waited in my car until about 6, and then left. So much for my first meeting! Oh well, I may try again next week, or try an Alanon meeting. There are so many more Alanon meetings in my area (although the Cleveland area Alanon website isn't loading right now). Also, I think the rehab where Brian (ABF) is maybe offers some type of family sessions and/or Naranon meetings. I hope they do. Naranon can be a way for me to work on me, but I'd also like to go to something where I can learn how to help (emotionally) support a newly recovering addict when he finally comes home. I'm sure there are a lot of family/relationship dynamics people who have more experience can help with.

They also have a Naranon meeting for children/teens at the same place I tried to go to tonight. I may try to bring Brian's kids if they do end up having the meeting!!!

Haha, doesn't the saying go: "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." ?

, Vanessa

VanessaLee13

Having a good night, though...came home, hung out on SR, chatted with a friend online, ordered some Thai food (pad thai and thai iced tea...yummy!) and took the dogs for a ride to go get it.

pjbs55

Vanessa,
Sorry the lady did not show up. If you can't make it or they don't hold the Nar-Anon meetings all the time, go to Al-Anon. They are the same but in Nar-anon we change some words. Go for support for you, I know some of the rehabs in my area have both Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings do different Sundays. I lead one of them, and it helps me to be doing it for others. We don't talk about what to do for the one we love, but what to do for YOU. Attend anything you can to get some help for you. Glad you did something for you tonight, that is a good first step.
Hugs

VanessaLee13

Yeah, there is a whole looong list of Alanon meetings in Northeast Ohio (and only 6 total meetings on the Naranon Ohio website)---their page is finally loading now. The only reservation I have had about Alanon is that I have heard that they discourage any mention of drugs (other than alcohol). I would prefer to go to a meeting where I wasn't afraid of blurting out the wrong thing. Although, I know they aren't gonna start throwing stuff at me if I do. Haha. I just don't want to have to "pretend" my boyfriend is an alcoholic vs. addicted to painkillers. I know, an addiction is an addiction, and that the meetings are for me, not about him. I hope I'm explaining myself clearly. As someone else had said to me, there is so much secrecy sometimes around addiction, it would just be best to be in a completely open environment.

So anyways, I am looking into an Alanon meeting that has a beginner's meeting beforehand. I'll keep you all posted!!!
, Vanessa

havehope

Vanessa
Your first meeting attempt sounded like mine.
I went to thechurch and tried all of the doors to get in. Even rang the doorbell etc. I was almost in tears telling God, "I am trying my best here to get some help". and no one came to the door.
Needless to say, God gave me another nudge, and I got in.
I know how you must have felt. Making that step to get help, and getting no one.
Please try again. The meetings have helped me so much.

Glad you made a good night of it! Stay strong.
HUGS

VanessaLee13

Thanks. Yeah, the night did end up being alright. Just made me laugh. When I called yesterday to ask if the meeting was there, the lady said "Arnon? Huh? Hold on...oh, yeah, that meeting is here." Haha, maybe that should have told me something. But the security guard there tonight was really nice. She seemed to think that the lady should be there next week. Although, with me being the only one waiting from 5:30-6, I am thinking the "meeting" would probably be more of a one on one thing. Unless for some reason the lady in charge called all the regulars to say she wouldn't be there. Since it's the only Naranon meeting in the area, I'm thinking there would be more than just two people there.

I didn't know churches had doorbells! The one I went to growing up didn't have one I don't think. I may have already said, but there actually is a Naranon meeting at that church. It's 10 minutes from where I used to live, and where my dad still lives. So at least if I go home, I'll have a close meeting!!!

I'm glad you finally got into your meeting, and hopefully I'll finally get to my first meeting!

Ann

I'm glad you are not giving up...this is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give yourself, no matter which meeting you finally go to. Many here go to Alanon as there seems to be more meetings and it's very similar to Naranon. In the end the meetings are about "us" and not about the substance, so I don't think you will have any problems with whichever you choose.

Good Luck.

Hugs

BigSis

I admire your willingness.... I've often felt bad when *I* didn't show up for a meeting, wondering if any newcomers waited in vain. What I know today is - when the newcomer finally gets to a meeting - the exact right people will be there to welcome her in.


Lots of hugs and good wishes for your next meeting... and the one after that... and the one after that... ((hugs))

VanessaLee13

I think my plan of action is one of three things (actually probably all three! ):
1. Try again to attend the Naranon meeting next Saturday. I got a PM suggesting I get the number of the meeting secretary and call to confirm. Thanks!
2. Attend the Naranon meeting at Brian's rehab. Well, I don't so much know yet if it is a Naranon meeting or just a general type meeting about addiction. Anyone have any experience with what types of meetings/sessions rehabs offer for family members (actually, I'm gonna start a new thread asking this).
3. Attend an Alanon meeting that has a beginner's meeting beforehand. There are a few in my area, just have to figure out which one I can go to.

Thanks so much guys!!!
, Vanessa

Hangin' In

Vanessa,

I attend Al Anon meetings because there are no Nar Anon meetings in my town. I've found exactly what I need in my meetings (my group is very open and caring and doesn't really care what "drug of choice" my loved one used).

I'd suggest you try any meeting you can get your hands on.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

Sara21

Hi Vanessa,
Something similar happened to me on Friday. I finally decided to go to my first Nar-anon meeting and when I got there the room was dark and nobody was there. Just as I was leaving, an older couple pulled up and asked if there was going to be a meeting. I said I hoped so and it ended up just being the 3 of us for the meeting. They were very kind and I am so glad I went. Just being able to talk to someone that has been there before and knows what it's like is such a huge relief. I felt so much better for going and I'm sure you'll feel better too.
Good Luck.

Hangin' In

Sara,

So glad the couple pulled up and y'all had your meeting. It only takes two to have a meeting, so y'all had one extra.

You keep going back.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

VanessaLee13

Thanks again for everyone's responses. One more quick question. I found the time/night I am going to go to my first Alanon meeting. The thing is there are two meetings at the same time I am trying to decide between. One is closer, in the small town where I went to college and I know exactly where it is, so I'd prefer to go there. But, the other one has a beginner's meeting 1/2 hour before the actual meeting starts.
Anyone have any opinions on whether it would be better to go to a meeting with a beginner's meeting for my first one, or if it doesn't matter either way?
Thanks!
Vanessa

Hangin' In

Vanessa,

In my small town I haven't had the benefit of having a Beginner's Meeting, so I really can't speak to that. I can't help but think it would be a good place to start though.

I say go with whatever you are most comfortable with. The most important thing is that you go. I just know that if I go to my meeting with open ears and an open mind, my HP will have me hear exactly what I need to hear. Now, I don't always WANT to hear what I'm hearing (like detach or get out of the way or keep my mouth shut ), but once I leave and let it sink it, I know I was there to hear something to help me.

Hugs,
Hangin' In