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12-27-2007, 06:28 AM

# 1 (permalink)

Barbara52

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Jun 2007

Location: Arlington, VA

Posts: 4,290

Hello

I've been doing my posting in the Friends and Family of Alcoholics section mostly. I am coming to see that now that I've moved beyond the immediate situation with my AH, what I really need to deal with are the issues I have that are part of my being an ACOA.

Reading the list of characteristics in the sticky struck quite a few chords with me, especially the last 3.

Both my parents were alcoholics, both abusive. For Dad it was physical and verbal abuse, with Mom it was verbal abuse and neglect. Over the years I have forgiven them for their actions but of course the effects have shaped me and stayed with me all these years. The one that led me to this wonderful forum was basically marrying my father. Lord was that a revelation when it hit me!

So I thought I'd just say hi over here and begin my reading.

12-27-2007, 06:37 AM

# 2 (permalink)

GingerM

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Join Date: Apr 2006

Location: Under the Rainbow

Posts: 1,086

Welcome Barbara. Glad to have you here.

12-27-2007, 06:53 AM

# 3 (permalink)

CatsPajamas

Forum Leader

Join Date: Aug 2002

Location: In my little piece of heaven

Posts: 2,870

Barbara,
I move around from forum to forum as well, as there are many "qualifiers" in my life who bring me to where I am today. I am not an adult child of an alcoholic, but both my parents are, and both of my husbands were. It's truly a generational disease, and the behaviors are passed down from parent to child, and so it goes.

I had a counselor who told me to get my butt to Al Anon because there was obviously alcoholism in my family, and we'd just figure it out later. She was right, I went to Al Anon (which truly saved my life) and we DID figure out who and where the ISMs were.

Big hugs from Barb to Barb

12-27-2007, 06:56 AM

# 4 (permalink)

Barbara52

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Jun 2007

Location: Arlington, VA

Posts: 4,290

Thanks Barb and Ginger.

Any recommendations on where to start my reading? I'm going to order me some books and start my eduation process.

I had attended a couple of ACOA meetings many years ago but, well it wasn't much of a group. I may look around again.

12-27-2007, 07:33 AM

# 5 (permalink)

Growing

Progress Not Perfection

Join Date: Nov 2007

Location: "Further up and further in!"---C.S. Lewis

Posts: 563

Hello Barbara..Happy to see you.

I was so relieved when I found this SR category for acoa's.

I hope you have a great day!

Growing

12-27-2007, 08:32 AM

# 6 (permalink)

GiveLove

Member

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Stumbling toward happiness

Posts: 4,706

Hi Barbara,

I know you from F&F, and have always admired your straightforward approach.

I've read a few of these and they have helped. It depends on where you think you might want to work on yourself first:

Adult Children Books - Books for Adult Children of Alcoholics

I find too that my behavior was horribly shaped by my experiences with two alcoholic/addict parents. I got involved with men that were my father many times, trying to work out my issues by proxy with them. Sigh.

Lots of very nice, honest, and wise people here...welcome.

GL

12-27-2007, 08:46 AM

# 7 (permalink)

Barbara52

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Jun 2007

Location: Arlington, VA

Posts: 4,290

Thanks GiveLove. That looks like a great starting point for my reading.

12-27-2007, 03:14 PM

# 8 (permalink)

DesertEyes

Member

Join Date: Jul 2004

Location: Starting over all over again

Posts: 4,426

Hey there Barb, and welcome to this little corner of serenity

My fav book of all is

Books - Struggle for Intimacy - 9780932194251

I like it because it gets down to practical applications of the principles of recovery. "Why do I get in sucky relationships? well here's a few reasons and what to do about 'em. "

Mike