RosieM

Hello, all - just wanted to update you and get your feedback. You may remember I tossed AH out a couple of weeks ago after a binge. Haven't seen much of him since then. I had a breast biopsy Friday and he was here when I came home but acting weird, not concerned about my health at all but claiming I did so many things wrong in his alcohol journey (guilty as charged, I know). Being in a fragile state anyway, I pretty much snapped and told him how angry I was at him for all this (wrong again, I know) and he left. Not a word since then. I'm nervous about another shoe dropping somewhere, or maybe this is just his way of ending it. BTW, my biopsy results came back today clean, yay!

Anyway, Friday he told me he is seeing a counselor and working on anger management and feeling powerless. You will love this - he said he was angry that I let the dog on the couch. Sigh.

UPDATE - He just called, expressed sincere concern and relief that I'm ok. He is going to his counseling tomorrow. He is living with his brother for now.

Don't know if I have a question here - just wanted to share with you all. It's been a painful time but I have to admit I'm feeling stonger. I'm getting a raise at work (which will be helpful if I have to maintain this house on my own!) and I made it through a Christmas by myself. Although I screwed up a light fixture when I painted the bathroom, I think I can figure out how to fix it. I have some pretty interesting choices to make here in the next few weeks and months.

As always, many thanks to you all for sharing here. Reading these posts has been a lifesaver to me. I'm not terribly well-versed in forum etiquette since I have never posted anything anywhere else, but please know how much I appreciate everyone here. RosieM

Barbara52

First off, congrats on the clean biopsy! That's wonderful news. {hugs}

As for him, sounds like he is doing his darnedest to manipulate you. Don't let him! All the variations of "poor little me" that we all hear mean diddly squat. Actions speak lounder than words.

FormerDoormat

That's great news about your health, Rosie, and great news about the raise, too. Glad to see that you're taking steps to prepare yourself financially to go it alone. Way to take care of yourself!

RosieM

Thanks, Barb. You are correct. My radar is fully engaged. I've told him I need until at least the end of January to clear my head and then we can talk about where we are. No promises about coming back. Maybe some couples counseling at that point, when he has six weeks of individual therapy under his belt. There's an Al Anon meeting close to work for me that I plan to attend next week.

FormerD, thanks for the warm thoughts! RosieM

CBrown

Congratulations on the clean report! I enjoyed your Ms Fix-It story. I've been divorced for 11 years, and either I have to fix it myself, or hire someone. It's definitely a different life, but it's a GREAT life! I wish the same for you.