Mr H

been slipping slowly over last few days, hopefully had my last drink two hours ago,,, and on and on we go

CarolD

Many of us had false starts on our way to recovery.

Do you have a new plan?

nogard

Hang in there, try not to be alone, talk to others and keep posting here.

Courgaeous thing to do so I don't think your a dick.

Kevin

Mr H

not really, i suppose its a good time of year to form a resolution so i might do that, just spoke to my wife who mentioned she's noticed the signs of slipping...christ im transparent arent i

Mr H

Thanks kevin, im at that point where you feel like you're in the back seat watching someone else driving if you know what i mean

nogard

Good idea to have a plan rather than listening to your own head. Why not try a support group like AA or SMART, start to find out what works for you. For me I can't do this alone.

Kevin

nogard

And stop beating yourself up, be kind to yourself, your doing the right thing by not drinking.

Kevin

Mr H

ur quite right man, but i believe AA is religion based and no offence but im far too cynical for that, i just need some grounded help

Robzoloft

remember...its an unnatural state for we alcoholics to not drink....it is highly unnatural when we don't...returning our established natures is the way of things...you're not a dick. A dick (like me) would rationalize, justify, defend and explain the return to drinking...you're acknowledging and confronting it....definitely UN-dick....I've been quitting since 1983(currently day 6)...what kind of dick does that make me?

caitlin666

mr h..............we are all here for you....nogard has given you very good advice....get a plan

as for AA, well im not religious......but ive been going this past few weeks and i have to say its the best thing i could have done for myself

just take out of it what you need........do whatever it takes to get yourself sober. after all thats the first step to recovery

i really can empathise with you....im only a few weeks dry and i will use anything at my disposal to ensure i stay that way

good luck, keep posting

Hevyn

Sorry your having a struggle Mr. H. This has been debated so much, whether or not AA is religion or spirituality based. I myself haven't attended meetings very often, but when I did I found that although "Higher Power" was mentioned all the time, God was not, nor was any specific religion. I don't feel that I would have been made unwelcome if I'd been agnostic or atheist. I think it's worth a try, and as they say - take what you can use and leave the rest. There are probably many free thinkers in those rooms who would never keep showing up if they were hit over the head with religious convictions.

nogard

pick some other support program and /or go seee a Drug and Alcohol Counsellor, do whatever you have to to get past this and stay quit.

Just don't sit there doing it alone.

Of course keep posting here.

Kevin

PS I don't do religion either but I took the best out of NA which was the members at first. I did what I had to do, rather than debating what I liked and did not like I reached out as you are so grab hold of something.

Anna

Mr. H, I'm not an AA person but I do work at recovery every day. I hope you can find a path that works for you and keep reading and posting.

gravity

This is a horrible feeling, wanting to stop but believing you can't. Been there too many times. It takes hard work but it can be done. One of the first things I did was to talk to some of my Elders who had beaten this problem. It was good to talk to someone that made it through this. They pointed me in the right direction. I'm still not out of the woods but life is much better.

awake121207

I understand not wanting to go to AA because of the religious aspect. It's part of why I've only been to one meeting a long time ago. On the other hand, I know that I haven't succeeded alone. I hope to find the support I need here with this site, and I hope you can find the support you need as well.

The feeling of being out of control is horrible--I think that is why so many find help in the surrender to a higher power. That doesn't work for the way I see things, but I see how it could help.

Kevin's right I think--reach out for whatever can help and take the best out of it.

We can do it.

Peace.

PS--If you're a dick--so am I!

Dee74

hey Mr H...I'm not an AAer, but I think the need for fellowship, for help, for the feeling you're not alone might be more pressing than anything else right now. I know for a fact you never have to do anything you don't want to do in an AA meeting and you're free to leave anytime...

I think you need to something concrete - being alone with your thoughts at Xmas is a killer...

but if sitting in on a meeting, or seeing a counselor or a doctor or whatever doesn't appeal, there's always SR

D

Fluttering

Mr H

I am pleased to meet you. I'm glad you are here with us. This is a tremendous journey. It isn't easy getting sober before the holidays but tho it may be hard it is doable.
We are here for you and with you.

You are not a dick.... We all beat ourselves up real good out there Now it is time to lighten up ...God loves you becasue you are one of his children and He does not like child abusers .....Be gentle with you. That is important.

Keep on Keepin on

Mr H

cheers guys n girls.
feeling pretty messed up at moment, sweaty and twitchy, looking forward to getting home and curling up in bed, to wake up sober ....i cant wait ; )

nodrinkingzone

Mr H, you're not a dick - we're all in the same boat in this forum... I'm not a religious man, but I have got more from AA meetings than I thought possible. I have been to four in the last week, and while every one has been different, it is a great relief to find yourself surrounded by kindness, sympathy, understanding and support from people who are, in at least one respect, exactly the same as you.

I wish you all the best, and a safe and sober holiday season.

ndz

oh and just wanted to add- spent five days this week sweaty, sore (mostly back/neck/shoulder cramps) and sleeping poorly - it will pass, and I guarantee you will start to feel better soon! I am on Day 8 now, have slept well the last couple of nights, and have been enjoying my sobriety immensely. Good luck!

indigo

Mr H I noticed you've not been around, don't beat yourself up, please don't think "well after Christmas", there's always going to be a way that the addict voice tries to get us to pick up. I'm not an AA'er, I chose a different method, so whatever works for you then work it, I don't think that all AA meetings are the same and they do work for a lot of people. Don't give up on yourself, you're worth much more than that.