Spent but Relieved
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
Spent but Relieved
My husband has been binging for the past two weeks and it finally came to a head this morning. I just got back from checking him into detox. I am so relieved that he is safe and getting help and that I can just sit back and breathe for awhile. I don't even feel guilty about feeling relieved. It takes everything out of you to go on day after day wondering if he is going to kill himself or someone else and then deal with the drunkeness and nastiness after he gets home.
I understand that this is an illness but when the need hits he doesn't even make an attempt to not pick up the bottle. He attends 3 AA meetings a week and talks to his sponsor twice a week. He has the tools but doesn't use them. Frustrating!!!!!!!!
Anyway ------ it is 3:30 in the afternoon and I am going to put on my bathrobe, put my feet up and pig out on my favorite foods and watch a movie. I'll be like Scarlett O"Hara - think about it tomorrow.
I'm so happy to have found a place like this to talk to others that understand what I am feeling. Thanks!
I understand that this is an illness but when the need hits he doesn't even make an attempt to not pick up the bottle. He attends 3 AA meetings a week and talks to his sponsor twice a week. He has the tools but doesn't use them. Frustrating!!!!!!!!
Anyway ------ it is 3:30 in the afternoon and I am going to put on my bathrobe, put my feet up and pig out on my favorite foods and watch a movie. I'll be like Scarlett O"Hara - think about it tomorrow.
I'm so happy to have found a place like this to talk to others that understand what I am feeling. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Jojo - good for you! There's no way you should feel guilty for feeling relieved - we're relieved right along with you! Take this time to look after yourself - sounds like you've made a good start! I hope your hubby does well in rehab - sometimes it just takes a little more to get them on the road to recovery. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: where I need to be
Posts: 157
Hi Jojo,
I know what you mean about feeling relieved when he's away, especially in a "safe" place.
Also, it took my AH many, many years to really believe and accept that he is an alcoholic.....oh, he'd admit to it time and again over the years......he would go to AA meetings, talk the talk, but really didn't walk the talk.
This time, he's four months sober and still working the program. REALLY working the program. He has a sponsor. He is in pain. I do see changes in him that were never present before.
I'm very cautious, however. I have built this huge wall around me, and cannot shake the pain. I know he cannot change overnight. Old behaviors still lurk about.....a huge one is his reaction when I don't say or do what he expects or wants. Whenrawl from me and pouts and sulks. Then I feel guilty for his mood. I don't respond a certain way to him, he tends to withdI'm learning though!
Sorry for rambling on like this. I don't know why I went off on this tangent.
It sounds like you're doing a great job of taking care of YOU.
Take care,
S
I know what you mean about feeling relieved when he's away, especially in a "safe" place.
Also, it took my AH many, many years to really believe and accept that he is an alcoholic.....oh, he'd admit to it time and again over the years......he would go to AA meetings, talk the talk, but really didn't walk the talk.
This time, he's four months sober and still working the program. REALLY working the program. He has a sponsor. He is in pain. I do see changes in him that were never present before.
I'm very cautious, however. I have built this huge wall around me, and cannot shake the pain. I know he cannot change overnight. Old behaviors still lurk about.....a huge one is his reaction when I don't say or do what he expects or wants. Whenrawl from me and pouts and sulks. Then I feel guilty for his mood. I don't respond a certain way to him, he tends to withdI'm learning though!
Sorry for rambling on like this. I don't know why I went off on this tangent.
It sounds like you're doing a great job of taking care of YOU.
Take care,
S
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: omaha nebraska
Posts: 10
JoJo
Enjoy the quite time for yourself. Alot of courage you have and my prayers are with you and your hubby on his recovery. I wish I would of put my hubby somewhere for help but never got the courage to do so. I wondered to long whether he was a alcoholic or not. My oldest son was 16 years old when I put him in rehab, I had more courage when it came to trying to help my son then I did with my hubby. Having one with drug problems (son) and a hubby who drinks to deal with in one year's time spent alot of my energy. My son has been clean and is recovering well. God Bless you for your courage and love for your hubby. I hope it all turns out well for your family. Enjoy your movie! Your friend , Dawn
Enjoy the quite time for yourself. Alot of courage you have and my prayers are with you and your hubby on his recovery. I wish I would of put my hubby somewhere for help but never got the courage to do so. I wondered to long whether he was a alcoholic or not. My oldest son was 16 years old when I put him in rehab, I had more courage when it came to trying to help my son then I did with my hubby. Having one with drug problems (son) and a hubby who drinks to deal with in one year's time spent alot of my energy. My son has been clean and is recovering well. God Bless you for your courage and love for your hubby. I hope it all turns out well for your family. Enjoy your movie! Your friend , Dawn
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