hundow08

I remenber when i was 18. I was so happy. I didn't worry to much about anything. I felt very positive inside, with very little anger except at the occassional BF. My friends called me a free spirit. If anyone wanted to do something.. i was always available, i loved being spontaneous. My favorite past times was going down by the river and write. I loved to write, poems, blurbs.. just about any time i had a thought mixed with a feeling, i had to write it down. I remember being able to laugh, at almost anything, i guess i would have been considered light hearted? My friends always thought i was a crack up. I just felt like a very positive spirit back then.
Now here I am almost 11 years later, and i want that girl back.
I worry constantly about everything, that is why when i go two buy a shirt it takes me two hrs to decide between the white tank or the black tank. Geez i hate to shop with me, i am so undecisive*. now i feel like i am such a pestimist, my glass is not half empty even is broken all over the floor ans now i have to clean it up! I feel angry allllllll the time. At the stupidist things. like wet dogs or burnt cookies. (girl please, like your gonna die) I feel like i just am snappy and dimm all the time. must be why my christmas spirit is lost this year. I want to be happy i want to have one of those great big belly laughs, and feel the endorphines race through my body, i want it, i want it, i want it!!! Most of alli want the ability to write again. I can't say it is writters block b/c its been 7 years since i wrote anything i was proud of. Everything i write is poor me, waaa me, i feel so sorry for me. addict this addict that, yuck so i stop writting, losing the dream to ever want to become a novelist. Ohh well i guess, another dream is set upon the shelf of my life. I dont want to feel like this anymore. i want to have that 18 year old spirit back. but i guess that is a long shot since we can never go back, and redo. just learn from it and move on rite? well today i am moving on. I might not do it like some say i should. I might not be as quick to get to the point as others would like to see. but i am moving, slow and steady can win the race.

Today for myself i will: sip hot orange spice tea, and listen to my favorite music for at least 30 min. and if someone needs me or wants something i will tell them to take a number and check back in a half an hour or so. (in case i decided to take a nap)

Abundance

aaaaaaaaw hundow... your inner child is wanting to come out and play!!!

Good for you chica!!! I'm right there with ya sista!!!!

hope213

you can not change another person but you can change you. you can have fun doing it to. i like that"take a number". be good to yourself.

hoping

I hope you have a happy day tommorow. :codiepolice