teenagers, breakups, christmas , aarrggg

Old 12-21-2007, 10:59 AM
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teenagers, breakups, christmas , aarrggg

I a finding it very hard to know the right things to do for my kids. My 13 year old daughter is doing fine. My son is 15 1/2. He seems very angry right now. He wanted my ah to move out. but he now gets so mad at me anytime I am not home. I have been working alot the last 5 weeks becouse of my job, catering Christmas parties, which i have been doing forever so it is not new to him that Dec is very busy for me. If i stay for a drink after work he gets very upset. He said the worries that I will end up like my AH.????? I have never, ever not been there for him. I always call, I go out with some friends maybe once a week if that. Last night was my work party. It started at 2 and when my son called at 4:00 he flipped. He said I was never home anymore, always out drinking...Where did that come from???? I am the always home mom, driving all the kids around, cooking dinner for thier friends...I was very hurt that he thinks of me like that. I explainded to him that some nights when he and his sister have friends over it is nice for me to go out and be with people and not dwell on everything else tht is going on in our lives right now. I don't think one night a week is too out of line? I am always home by 11:00pm
He later apologized and said he didn't mean it, but I think he just said it becouse he could see how upset I was. Is he manipulateing me to be home so I can drive him around and make dinner or is he really afraid I am going off the deep end. His age has something to do with it I am sure. It is hard being a mom of teenagers and dealing with my breakup ( who sends me messages that are a little suicidel) and christmas all at once...I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Thanks for letting me get this all out.
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Old 12-21-2007, 11:53 AM
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Do you think it's possible that the way he's sees it, is that he has lost one parent by way of addiction, and he's just feeling some sort of insecureness when you're not around?

(that seemed like alot of words to say that...LOL)

Maybe he just needs some time, and reassuring that you're not going anywhere.

Hugs to you,
Kids, they're tough to figure out sometimes...
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Old 12-21-2007, 12:03 PM
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He sounds like he is very affraid of the future. I know how december is for catering and understand you need to work a good bit but perhaps (and I'm sorry if I sound mean or anything) you could not have that drink and instead have a hot chocolate with the kids. I also understand the need for adult companionship but it sounds like your son needs you right now.

good luck and prayers
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Old 12-21-2007, 01:18 PM
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My boys are only 7 and 9... and they were saying the similar stuff to me... we spend more time with Grandma/Granddad/Daddy... than with you because you are always working. For the last couple of weeks, I have made a conscious effort to be home and spend time with them in their world.... think you and your son could just go out for a dinner or on a drive together?

I don't think once a week is so bad... I mean... you need the support right now too...... and he doesn't understand that.... probably cause moms are bad a$$ people... and don't need it!!! *wink!

Kids are hard to read... because they don't know how to put it properly into words how they are feeling....... (((hugs))) .... what do you have planned for the holidays with them?
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Old 12-22-2007, 12:46 PM
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((((((kj21))))))

It does sound as if he's trying to control ya, mom.
But, think about it. He's lost his dad to addiction.
I can see why he's worried for you.
Maybe he could get into alateen meetings or talk to
a counselor about his worries.
My daughter saw a counselor a few times in the past.
She suffers from excessive worry, too.
Her dad is an alcoholic. She has no contact with him, so
I'm not sure what the reasons are for her stress.
She also experiences hypocondriac tendencies.
Goes to the hospital every couple of months to get "checked"
for cancer, ashma, diabetes, ect.
When she gets like that, she listens to cd's of breathing exercises
and also sees her therapists. Young people, who are overly sensitive,
have a tendency to suffer from depression, stress, anxiety, ect.
Keep reassuring him and see if you can get him to open up more to you
or a professional.
All said with care and concern,
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