LauraSFO1

you know what I'm kind of looking foward to on Christmas Day? Being the only sober one there and watching my annoying sister-in-law and grouchy father-in-law all make total asses of themselves as they get really drunk.

Is that mean spirited of me?

Rowan

I don't know that it's mean-spirited, but it's probably not helpful in terms of your recovery. The only thing separating us from them is an arms-length. It's really important for me not to think I've above anyone else simply because I choose recovery.

LauraSFO1

I suppose you're right. I shouldn't be so cocky. But...if you met my sister and father in law...UGH!! I'll try to show more compassion....:-):sorry

Anna

I find that staying positive works wonders for me. Why don't you try to focus on how good you will feel about yourself at the end of the day on Christmas?

Pinkcuda

Watching drunken idiots strengthens my resolve to abstain. Keep in mind that you're just watching and not saying anything to them about sobriety when they don't want to listen to it. No "holyier than thou" attitude. Just watch. Don't forget; they can and will be anoying.

LauraSFO1

oh they WILL definitely be annoying! But, I'm prepared for that

Jomey

Laura, I have to agree with Ro and Anna, but I know where you are coming from! My oldest brother is always drunk at family affairs, and yet, from the corner of his world that I saw, he never had to face a consequence and that got to making me feel mean-spirited towards him, especially when I faced up to the fact that I had to be sober. The longer I am sober, the more often I see corners of his world that I never saw before, and compassion flows more freely.

However, whether it's to do with recovery or not, I think everyone has at least one relative that they feel a little negative about, esp. during the holidays!!

Enjoy your sobriety! Jomey

Dee74

LOL I'm gonna shut my big ole beachbum mouth and let Jomey speak for me on this one

D

nandm

Laura your post did make me laugh, at myself that is. It also made me grateful for the recovery I have today. The post made me picture myself being the drunken a** at the family function, then not being able to remember what I did to make everyone so mad when I came to the next day. Thanks for the reminder. I agree with the previous posters about staying humble and remembering "but for the grace of God, there go I." Thank you, your post reminded me of that saying. Hope you have a great Christmas.

rloomer

Good luck Laura I just hope you don't start feeling urges wztching everyone else drink. I know I couldn't do it so early in my recovery so I just avoid all situations. Of course I sort of have no choice in the matter but good luck anyway.

barb dwyer

nah.
I can think of meaner things.

stone

Yea, we are in recovery, not training to be saints.

SaTiT

excuse yourself stoney...there's ladies around.
Only a specail bread gets to be saints... and i reserve that right.lol

The ladies can be NUnes...thou...

none of this and none of that :rof

Pilgrim

If they are alcoholics then they are sick and I find it sad to watch. If they are just annoying - why go?

Octoman

I can see where you're coming from Laura. I kind of like seeing people the morning after. Having spent the evening putting up with their drunken nonsense its kind of like payback time!

Its a little self indulgent but hey, I aint perfect!

Tazman53

Laura my first holiday which happened to be Thanksgiving sober I initially felt like you when going over to dinner at the in-laws, my brother-in-law who is one of the very few folks I know that drank/drinks more then me. My kids hate going over there because he can be a bit obnoxious/overbearing/full of himself when he is drunk.

Well to my surprise no one was drinking because they knew I had just recently quit. My brother in law wasn't drinking either and by about 2 in the afternoon he was starting to get the shakes..... he was miserable, I was able to see in him myself and I did not feel what I thought I would feel, instead my heart ached for him, I told him "Bill, if you need a drink get one it is not going to bother me." He told me no, that he did not need a drink. Well 5 minutes later I saw him drinking a beer out of a large mug, after 3 or 4 of them his shakes stopped.

I took no pleasure in that like I thought I would, I knew where he was at and I also knew damn well I did not want to go back there with him. The last time I saw him he had been sober about 3 weeks, his wife thought he had been real sick for about a week, he wasn't sick, he was detoxing! DT's and the whole 9 yards, the hell of it is that he does not think he has a problem, he said he was going to start drinking again but not every day!!! I did not say a thing, if he wants help he will ask.

gypsytears

No excuse for stoney :rof.

As for Laura's post...

Isn't that almost the same sentiment some posters express towards being around anyone that will be drinking? She just happens to be related to these people. I don't think it mean spirited at all. Plus... it will most likely strenghten her resolve so I see it as a positive .

Tazman53

Gypsy it is a positive, but if she is like me she will more then likely do just what I did, early on I knew my BIL was every bit as bad as me and before I saw him I to felt my being sober would allow me to kind of laugh at his stupidity, but once I saw him and what he was going through I took no pleasure at all in it, I saw myself in the past, I felt sorrow for him and it did strengthen my resolve to stay sober.

LauraSFO1

Well, in my defense, I should note that my sister in law (who is my husband's brother's wife) tends to flirt with my husband when she's drunk to the point of trying to feel him up under the table. At a family wedding last summer she took her bra off (leopard print, I might add) and flung it at the groom. AND on Thanksgiving day in 2001 said that 9/11 "was just the slap in the face American's needed" (she is Canadian). Isn't she a charmer?

splendra

I hope you can remember that except by the grace....