justin70

I'm a student working on a very demanding post-graduate degree. I've got 56 days of sobriety and I'm "dealing" as best as I can. It's really hard to not escape from problems.

I have a long term Girlfriend and our 2 1/2 year old daughter at home. We are poor. I Just found out that we probably won't be getting Health Insurance from the state for our daughter. I think it's because our situation is atypical and the people working at the office don't know how to handle our application. (eg A requirement is that I'm supposed to file for unemployment if I'm not working. I've been in school for 3 years w/o a job and the state where I had the job (not the state I live in now) doesn't allow filing for unemployment if you've been out of work for more than 2 years, and our case worker says "it's ridiculous" and she "has to have proof of unemployment", bureaucracy at it's best).

I also just got a scathingly honest review from one of my professional preceptors about how I'm not "compulsive" enough. As in, I'm not very outspoken, I have to be encouraged to speak up. I don't share the same excitement about the field of study that other students do. He's probably right.

I'm also overweight and depressed, and I'm poor.....I'm getting all my whining in now since I haven't whined in years.

jdcm1965

56 days is fantastic Justin. You are in a very tough stage of your life. Let's just say that you have more than your share of work to do! This may be your bottom. The good news is that you can start your way up and out if you really want it. You are not alone!

That sounds dumb and trite, I know, but just don't drink! Do you have a home group? Do you have a sponsor? I suggest that you avail yourself of these precious resources asap.

If there is one thing I know about the rooms of AA...If your problem has a name, then someone else has gone through it and come out the other side better for the experience. It sounds as if you have a lot of love and real commitment in your life already. That's great. Feel grateful to have it. These things are gold.

When I came into AA I had burned all my bridges and was facing a 2 year jail sentence. I did my time (19 months) and came out pretty shaky, but I ran back to the rooms. Now I am finishing up my BA in historical studies and will be working for a relief NGO overseas this summer. I also have become a primary caregiver for one of my parents who has pre-senile dementia and mild cognitive impairment. To think that in 5 years I have accomplished all this and so much more is mind boggling. 6 years ago I was not trusted, wanted, or needed (or so I felt).

You can get through this and help others who may be in a similar position. In fact you have helped keep me sober today already. See? It's a simple program for complicated people.

Keep Comin'
John:bounce

justin70

I don't go to AA. I've thought about it and actually looked up meeting times/places. What is it like to show up for your first meeting? Does anything happen? Is anything expected of me?

thanks.

youngirish

Hi Justin,
You're not whining. You're going through a very stressful time. On top of that you've accoplished 56 days of sobriety, good for you :-) It's good to post your troubles on here, it's a way of getting it out and having others hear you. Try not to take your preceptors review to heart. It's his opinion, nothing more. I'm sure he's not considering all the other events going on right now that may be contributing. Keep posting and please don't drink, there's no faster way to make a difficult situation much worse. Take care :-)

AnastasiaB

Congratulations on 56 days sober! I"m sorry you're having a rough time.

Take care and let us know how you're doing.

nogard

way to go, congrats

ccirider

Hi Justin:

What field are you getting a degree in? Yes, it really is hard to not escape from problems. I call them challenges, rather than problems. Either we rise up to the challenges or we don't. To face the challenges and fail isn't the same as running away from them, is it?

In life, we are either progressing or regressing, whether it's in science and technology or in our emotional development. One of the effects of alcoholism and drug addiction is emotional regression, and so it's not uncommon to see addicts in their mid 40's behaving like they have the emotional development of a five-year-old. On their way to becoming emotional five-year-olds, they may have lost a good paying job, a house, a car, a family, etc. So here they are at a time in their lives when they have lost so much, and are in such desperate need of their physical, mental, and emotional health to help them get back on their feet, yet they have lost everything. If they still had their health, they could bounce back. If they lose their health, then what?

While others are living their lives in a linear fashion, us addicts are going in circles. The years go by and while others have moved on in their lives, here we are right back where we started from 15 years ago. I know that I am painting a gloomy picture here for you, but that is where you are headed if you think drinking is the answer to coping with your problems. You also mentioned that you are overweight, so it sounds like you are self-medicating with whatever is available. Take it from somebody who has been down that dead end road that you are thinking about taking a drive down. Don't go there my friend.

Either your feelings will control you or you will control your feelings. Is there any other logical possibility? You have to behave your way out of this hole that you feel yourself in. When you feel sad and depressed, what should you do? Go play with your 2 1/2 year-old and put a smile on her face because I guarantee you she is going to put a smile on your face. Now, what does that do for you? You are feeling sad and depressed, but now you have a smile on your face. It sounds crazy to be smiling when we are sad and depressed, but the reality is we are preserving our sanity by doing so. I am just giving you a simple example and there are literally hundreds of other things that we can do to behave our way out of a hole we may find ourselves in. It works for me, and it might just work for you.

P.S. I am a new grandfather, and am going down to Houston to see my new grandson who is just 2 weeks old now. I can't wait to just smile in his face.

Peace

CarolD

Hi Justin.....Way to go on your sober time!


AA? Yes! it's helped me immensley in many ways.
Please check out the top sticky post below for info.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-support/

Blessings to you and your family

indigo

Justin way to go on 56 days it's good to meet you.

jdcm1965

So today is 57 days? My first AA meeting was pretty amazing. First, I ran into a few friends from my drinking days who I hadn';t seen in a while...That was an eye-opener. It was very welcoming. One of the friends showed me to a seat next to them. Nothing was expected of me. I didn't have to say anything. I didn't even say I was an alcoholic that day. I was just relieved that there were other folks like me, who told their stories about pain and confusion and fear and I understood exactly what they were talking about.

I left the meeting feeling light as a feather. The next day I went back and identified myself as an alcoholic, and that's where it all began. It hasn't all been fun, or laughs, or relief. There has been a lot of work and some intense changes in my life, but through all this I didn't drink, I went to meetings, and shared my experience, strength, and hope with other alcoholics. If I can do it, so can you.

One Day At A Time,
John

justin70

Thanks for the replies. Today is better. ccirider, those are some powerful words.