What is a dry drunk?
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What is a dry drunk?
People in my Alanon meetings have mentioned the term "dry drunk". What is this and what are the behaviors that go with it?
Also, how do I use the quote feature on this site? The one that puts a quote in the rectangle....thanks
Also, how do I use the quote feature on this site? The one that puts a quote in the rectangle....thanks
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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I think they mean that an A is not drinking but has not really sought any treatment for the addiction. Kind of like they are white knuckling it through, which never seems to last too long.
Maybe someone can give a better insight, but that is my impression of it.
Maybe someone can give a better insight, but that is my impression of it.
Hi Chryasalis.
Although it is a term I personally dont use, "dry drunk" is considered to be an alcohlic who has in fact stopped drinking, and that is all. Usually someone who is not working a programme, and refuses or is not ready to change themselves or their behaviour , or attitudes .
Hope this helps
HUGX
Leigh
Although it is a term I personally dont use, "dry drunk" is considered to be an alcohlic who has in fact stopped drinking, and that is all. Usually someone who is not working a programme, and refuses or is not ready to change themselves or their behaviour , or attitudes .
Hope this helps
HUGX
Leigh
Just my theory ...
And the theory is subject to change too! So many people on SR report that even after their As quit drinking, they're still SOBs. We started speculating that they were schmucks before they drank, were schmucks during, and schmucks after. Getting the picture? I wonder whether As are on some level so disturbed by their rotten personalities and acts that they anesthetize with the alcohol. So that means once the alcohol is gone, they need the therapy to become a mature, considerate, respectful person in society. If not, they're just a "dry drunk" or rather an SOB without the alcohol.
I honestly thought if my XABF would lose the booze he'd be a decent person. Now I'm thinking it wouldn't make much of a difference, except health-wise. He probably always was and probably always will be a psychopath. And that makes him toxic and someone I need to stay away from at all costs.
I honestly thought if my XABF would lose the booze he'd be a decent person. Now I'm thinking it wouldn't make much of a difference, except health-wise. He probably always was and probably always will be a psychopath. And that makes him toxic and someone I need to stay away from at all costs.
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I really liked the way Claudia phrased it!
My exabf is a dry drunk. I'd actually have to say he's worse this way than drinking. You take the liquid away and that's it. He never changed his people, places or things. He did go to AA and got somewhat active but only because his sponsor said he wasn't doing enough. He would hang out at bars and drink O'douls and so on. His attitude STUNK, and he's depressed, financially unstable, miserable and very moody. It's not a pleasant thing to be around.
Jeeze, guess i still am bitter!!
Jeeze, guess i still am bitter!!
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Dry drunks are the worst. My AW is one and she is difficult to relax around. Always on edge, a little paranoid, sad, underlying anger, looking for approval and support, feeling sorry for themselves.....kind of like lost children.
Last edited by geees poncho; 12-18-2007 at 01:34 AM. Reason: more info
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My STBXAH is also a dry drunk. He is a mess in oh so many ways, deep in denial and living in an alternate reality in terms of how he sees our break up and what his life is now. Nothing but excuses as to why his life is a mess (everything is someone else's fault somehow). I wonder how long it will be before he picks up thaqt bottle again.
This may offend some, but here's what I heard from a recovering A of 21 yrs!:
You take the alcohol out of the alcoholic and all you have left is the "ick." That sums it up really well for me.
(21 years of recovery left this grateful man with a wonderful outlook and sense of humor. . .)
You take the alcohol out of the alcoholic and all you have left is the "ick." That sums it up really well for me.
(21 years of recovery left this grateful man with a wonderful outlook and sense of humor. . .)
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