Comments to my kids from his family
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Almost 'me' again
Posts: 102
Comments to my kids from his family
My children have grown so much in the last two years and are pretty wise about all that is going on. However, my son, age 10, came back from his supervised visit this weekend and told me his aunt justified my STBX's slurred speech, shakiness, confusion...by saying "he is just hungry".
Part of my wants to just say, my kids are wise enough to see through it and this just gives them the opportunity to see the illness as it impacts those around him. BUT I also fear that they will start to question what they know. I don't want them to fall back into denial.
I don't nag on it, I don't awefulize it, but I've never lied to the kids about it. It is what it is. I tell them facts without judgement. When they see him like that, they have referred to his as him taking too much medication (prescription drugs is his DOC).
I have in the parenting plan that they are to be returned to me immediately if he shows any sign of being drugged out. It has been two years, they are older now and not so much in turmoil so I'm not as 'picky' about it as long as the standard of him never driving them is up held. Part of me wonders if I need to be strick with that again????
What do you all think?
Part of my wants to just say, my kids are wise enough to see through it and this just gives them the opportunity to see the illness as it impacts those around him. BUT I also fear that they will start to question what they know. I don't want them to fall back into denial.
I don't nag on it, I don't awefulize it, but I've never lied to the kids about it. It is what it is. I tell them facts without judgement. When they see him like that, they have referred to his as him taking too much medication (prescription drugs is his DOC).
I have in the parenting plan that they are to be returned to me immediately if he shows any sign of being drugged out. It has been two years, they are older now and not so much in turmoil so I'm not as 'picky' about it as long as the standard of him never driving them is up held. Part of me wonders if I need to be strick with that again????
What do you all think?
Survivor
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 149
Frog,
This is just my opinion and I am well aware that each of us must find our own way.....but you asked and my thoughts are that no child should be in the presence of a using addict, supervised or not.....for me it would be time to re-evaluate my boundaries.....which would be if you use, you lose, stick to the original plan.....for me I would require a clean drug test from AH in order for my child to be allowed visitation......your son is very young and no matter how much you think he knows or understands, he is still a child and should be protected from anyone in active addiction........
This is just my opinion and I am well aware that each of us must find our own way.....but you asked and my thoughts are that no child should be in the presence of a using addict, supervised or not.....for me it would be time to re-evaluate my boundaries.....which would be if you use, you lose, stick to the original plan.....for me I would require a clean drug test from AH in order for my child to be allowed visitation......your son is very young and no matter how much you think he knows or understands, he is still a child and should be protected from anyone in active addiction........
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
I agree also, stick with your plan, he's using, no kid visits for that day.
Although how do you go about guaranteeing that he's sober when you drop them off?
What if he uses when they're there?
((((My hearts out to you parents, with addicted partners....it must be so hard what you go through....))))
Hugs,
Although how do you go about guaranteeing that he's sober when you drop them off?
What if he uses when they're there?
((((My hearts out to you parents, with addicted partners....it must be so hard what you go through....))))
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
He's prescribed these drugs, and its supervised? Id say your kids are quite aware. As long as the visits are supervised Id allow them if the kids are comfortable.
My father is legally dependant on prescription drugs, actually without them noone would be around him. My kids know he's sick and the meds make him that way, they also have expressed theyd want nothing to make them like that. Some people would say it is different because he has to have them, but who really knows, for years the family battled that he shouldnt take them but who can say at this point.
For my kids its eliaviated any curiousity about pills and replaced with caustious fear
My father is legally dependant on prescription drugs, actually without them noone would be around him. My kids know he's sick and the meds make him that way, they also have expressed theyd want nothing to make them like that. Some people would say it is different because he has to have them, but who really knows, for years the family battled that he shouldnt take them but who can say at this point.
For my kids its eliaviated any curiousity about pills and replaced with caustious fear
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